Finding Hope in a Chat Room

Written by Winsome Smith

Alone and discouraged, I sat staring at a computer screen. I was frustrated by the way my life had turned out. I’d worked hard to hold onto remnants of hope for my marriage, but each day that summer I could feel it slipping through my fingers.  I felt so alone.  God was still there, I knew, but I longed for people who would talk back.  Late at night, I wished I could talk to someone who might understand my questions and respond with compassion. My heart ached with the pain of rejection. I felt so ashamed when I faced friends who knew us as a couple. It seemed like my world was falling apart. I needed encouragement. So here I was, seriously considering going into a chat room.

As I stared at my screen, I wondered. Would there be women who were safe? Would I be able to connect with others who would remind me of what I’d been taught as a child, that God loved me even then, that He’d not given up on me? Would I find friendship or face rejection because of my journey? Perhaps I would remain silent; I didn’t have to share my pain. I had heard the online world was a strange one, and I’d never seen a chat room. Cautiously, I clicked on the button, “Connect.”

Welcome to chat

“Welcome to the room, we’re glad to have you! How’d you find our chat room?” someone asked.  Soon I was welcomed not only to the chat room, but into some amazing relationships with women who cared.

Over the next several weeks I began to share my journey. Here were ladies who knew and loved God. They knew His compassion toward the broken-hearted and were willing to listen to my pain.  Like salve on an open wound, their care brought comfort to a wounded heart. I didn’t know it that night, but they would continue to build into my life over the next several years. They took time to share the hope that they’d found as they too had faced the unexpected. We spent time in prayer together as I faced a healing journey, one not of isolation but of renewed community.

As I opened my heart to new friends, I found a place where I could be real with my hopes, dreams, questions and disappointments. These long distance friends reminded me that God would never turn His back on me. He would keep His promises. Over and over they reminded me that His plans for me were good plans, ones full of hope and purpose. With their support, I began to reach out to others who were hurting and to share the way God was working in my own life with women who faced similar challenges.

God had not set me aside

In time I realized that life was not over. God had not rejected me nor set me aside. I had an opportunity to reach out to others. I could help.  The chat room became a place of hope and excitement as I saw God actively at work in my own life and the lives of others! As I opened my heart toward others, my own life was changed.

Every week I see visitors from around the world come into the chat rooms at Powertochange.com. Some come with the pain of a broken relationship, a shattered dream, or a question that is difficult to ask face to face. Others bring with them the lessons that they’ve learned on their own journey as well as gifts of hope, refreshment and friendship. Each visitor comes with a story and a heart that is seeking.  The search may be for a friend, for someone to listen and understand, for advice, for new direction or an affirmation that God still cares.

I am thrilled as I see uplifting friendships develop in the chat rooms. As we share our lives and hearts with one another, many of us see growth and change! I thank God for the way He used online friendships and discussions to restore hope in my life. For those who reached out to me, I cannot thank you enough. My life has been touched and changed.

chat-icon-42x42Have you ever wondered what you might find in a chat room? Why not visit either our co-ed or ladies chat room. It’s free and registration is not required. Come during one of our scheduled topic chats or drop by for a visit during open chat. Chat might be just what you’ve been looking for.

34 Responses to “Finding Hope in a Chat Room”

  • Elkay says:

    Toni, I am very sorry about the state you find yourself in just now. We have freely available mentors who will come alongside you with support in confidence. If you will hit the “Talk to a Mentor” button near the top right of this page, briefly tell us what’s going on, and someone will reply back to you by email.

    Meanwhile, there are many things in this world we “hope” for. We hope for a raise in our salary or that our favorite team will win the Super Bowl. When the Bible speaks of hope, however, it is a firm conviction that the future promises of God will be fulfilled. Hope is not mere wishing, but is an assurance of what will come to pass.

    Christ promises us the “living hope” of an imperishable inheritance in heaven. Everyday desires will fade away, but our eternal heavenly home is our ultimate security and anchor when life’s storms hit. What about when our situation isn’t improving—then, what’s the Lord doing then? Those times that God does not deliver us from difficulty, we can be sure He is doing a greater work within us to make us more Christ-like.

    “Heavenly Father, nothing is impossible for You and You have invited us to Your throne of grace to find help and mercy in out times of trouble. Toni is in a rough place right now and so we ask You to supernaturally assure her of Your love and presence in her life. She needs to know how valuable she is to You as she was created in Your image and You gave us Jesus as her Lord and Savior. Encourage her to reach out for a mentor and bless her in such a new relationship. This is our prayer in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

  • Toni says:

    Ok not sure how to do this, just feeling so alone right now hoping to talk to someone who cares and would like to talk, feeling worthless and not liking myself much. The word hope pulled me in.

  • Elkay says:

    Courtney, I am very sorry about the difficulties you have faced and maybe a chat room can be helpful. In the above article, two things jump out. First, the author found “ladies who knew and loved God” and after awhile, she “began to reach out to others who were hurting.” Both of these are important to remember as you go forth and you may even find that a Women’s Ministry in a local church is a place where you can find them in addition to putting a face on a voice. Another venue to consider is to hit the “Talk to a Mentor” button on this page and a trusted Mentor will come alongside you in confidence by email for support.

    You mentioned having no purpose and that reminded me of a Jimmy Evans’ teaching that every one of us are driven by needs for Acceptance, Identity, Security and Purpose. He goes on to say that no (mere) human can meet those needs – that only in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ will these basic needs be met- and that in marriage (in particular), such a relationship is the single most important factor for success. That is true in any kind of a friendship, even outside marriage, because none of us have the love, wisdom, resources and power that belong to God alone. I will attach a link to that lesson on Youtube in case you want to see the real event.

    Let me say one other thing because you can be healed by Jesus and one day in the future may entertain the idea of marriage. Marriage is an institution, a covenant, not just a commitment or a contract. In marriage the way God intended, each spouse promises to love the other regardless of the other’s performance. Marriage is recognizing that God created our spouse specifically for me so of course we love, honor, treasure our spouse as a gift from our perfect God. This gift may not seem “perfect” in our eyes but we remember that God is at work in their life transforming them as He sees fit. Please make certain that this describes where you and another person are as you go into the future.

    Here is Jimmy Evans’ lesson on “The Most Important Issue in Marriage”, published on Jul 15, 2016, and it reads, “Everyone has been hurt and frustrated in relationships. Today you can experience great compassion and hope. It begins by understanding the danger of depending on others to meet your deepest needs.”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERcLk5hJq8Y

  • Courtney says:

    I feel extremely lonely maybe because I am grieving. I was in a relationship for about 10 years with a man who didn’t love me back. He showed me no affection and no love. I then seemed to start having feelings for a friend of mine who was dying of cancer. He fought from December until May. I stood by his side and took care of him until he passed away. I feel lost without him and I feel as though he was the love of my life. I feel that there is no one out there for me who would loves me for me and feel as though I have no purpose anymore. I feel as if I’m giving up on love and I’ll be alone forever. I keep giving 100 percent of myself and getting kicked in the mouth.

  • Courtney says:

    I feel extremely lonely maybe because I am grieving. I was in a relationship for about 10 years with a man who didn’t love me back. He showed me no affection and no love. I then seemed to start having feelings for a friend of mine who was dying of cancer. He fought from December until May. I stood by his side and took care of him until he passed away. I feel lost without him and I feel as though he was the love of my life. I feel that there is no one out there for me who would loves me for me and feel as though I have no purpose anymore. I feel as if I’m giving up on love and I’ll be alone forevee

  • Tom Tom says:

    xxamberxx–

    What seems to be the problem? You can either discuss it publicly via this chat, or click on “Talk To A Mentor” at the top right of this page to be connected to someone privately, one-on-one.

  • xxamberxx says:

    Hi, i’m heartbroken in many ways,
    help.

  • Aldo says:

    Kobus, I will certainly pray for you. It would be nice to know what to pray for: (what your sickness is, and why you are so helpless and useless), and what problems are stressing you out. Let’s pray:

    Lord, I do not know what kind of help Kobus needs, but You do, and I ask that You would touch him right now with Your precious Holy Spirit, and meet whatever needs he has. Bring healing where there is sickness, faith where there is fear, comfort where there is sadness, confidence where there is doubt. Give him smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow his clouds, laughter to kiss his lips, sunsets to warm his heart, hugs when his spirit sags, beauty for the ashes of his depression, eyes to see the positive instead of the negative, friendships to brighten his being, faith so that he can believe, courage to face the unknown, patience to accept the truth, and love to fill his life, in Jesus Name I pray. Amen.

    Kobus, if you would like to speak one on one with someone, click on Talk to a mentor button at the left bottom of this page. A person will be happy to chat with you about whatever issues you may have.

  • Kobus says:

    Hi All Just Want a Prayer for My Sickness and I’m Helpless and Useless Plz I’m Stress about Problems Will Be Glad if someone can help me

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Banke, if you go to http://powertochange.com/discover/chat/ you can sign up to be involved in a chat room.

  • banke adigun says:

    Hi, I’m banke and i’d like to chat

  • Latosha Jackson says:

    I been married for 11 years, but my husband hurt me by being in volve with other women. I forgave him, but I feel like I want to get revenge on him. It’s been a year since I found out, however I know that Im wrong for feeling this way. Please keep me in your payer’s that I fight for my marriage God’s way.

  • Sharon says:

    to Paul– prayer–father God I pray for Paul right now I pray for Christians to come along his path to encourage him and I pray also for people who have gone through this will come along him for support and give him support during this time how sad for you I pray for favor to see his son and get support too I pray all of this in JESUS name amen I am praying for you– sharon

  • Paul says:

    I’m 54 and have a 10 year old son who I adore. I was with him and his Mom until last April when she attacked me physically for no apparent reason. She has kept me from seeing or speaking to him because she lied to get an order of protection. We are in court now and they arranged for me to see him. I saw him last Saturday for the first time in 9 months. I am so devastated because he has Aspbergers and when I left it was hardly noticeable but now it’s very bad. His mother is so evil for putting our son and I through this. I was always loving and did all I could for her and nothing was ever enough. I am very alone now and dealing with this without any support. I’ve been grieving all the time. Heartbroken.

  • Chris says:

    montague….sorry if you are struggling in your relational life!….this topic is somewhat close to me because my own sister would never let go what she thought was the only person she could ever marry. as a result of not allowing God to be the one to choose for her her husband, she is now stuck in a nursing home/community center where at the age of 63 she has accomplished absolutely nothing of real importance in this world as God would have liked her to, simply waiting to leave the world she never allowed God to show her her purpose for being in it. i would hope that you wouldnt make the same mistake, but rather allow God through jesus christ to come into your life and show you his great plan he has for you. you can find out how to do that by logging onto knowingjesuspersonally.com or by clicking talk to a mentor above. i pray you would so that you dont allow any one person to ruin the life that only jesus has given to you and wants to fulfill through you. blessings!

  • Montague says:

    I don’t wanna be the negative voice here , but the thing is that we simply get better as days go by .. nothing more or less!
    we keep saying to eachother the healing words like : some day you’ll find the true love , or someday you’ll meet the one who deserves you , etc.. but in the scheme of reality nothing of this should be taken seriously .. because the ones who broke our hearts are the ones we truely love .. the ones we really want, and wish to spend lifetime with .. and now they’ve gone .. if i take myself as an example i’d say that i don’t want a better girl that would love me and appreciate me more than my heartbreaker did .. I don’t want any other girl .. i’ll never love or feel any one like i do now toward the one how left me .. there’s only one time we feel such a thing in our lives .. ONE .
    and whatever happens , noone would take our lover’s place ..
    i’m not an English speaker .. sorry if my English is bad..

  • Chris says:

    naomi…so sorry to hear of your situation….having been abandoned by my wife years ago, i can identify with your sorrow. the fact of the matter is that in this world, the only person we can truly count on to never leave us is jesus christ. he alone has the true love we need to be secure in and know that no matter what happens or who leaves, he wont. i would encourage you to log onto knowingjesuspersonaly.com or click talk to a mentor above to being your own personal and secure spirital love reationship with jesus today. that way, no matter what happens in life, you will never be alone! praying for you now that jesus fills your life with his love and peace and the many blessings he has in store for you!

  • Naomi says:

    I’m heartbroken and alone my husband has left Mr for someone else I’m devastated and don’t know how to get past it

  • Sharon says:

    to Elle happy 42 I am sad for you that you are celebrating alone I pray that Christians will come along your path to encourage you and help you celebrate your birthday prayer–father God I pray give guidance and wisdom to Elle on how to start again after this sad break up I pray for strength and lead her to a Godly person to love her and for her to love that person back I pray all of this in JESUS name amen I am praying for you.– sharon

  • elle says:

    Today is my 42nd birthday and I’m celebrating it alone. My partner for 9 years is with his girlfriend who is also celebrating her birthday today. How hard it is for me to accept that they’re having an affair for 2 yrs now……how painful it is for me to realize that I was easily replaced and left “just like that” I feel sorry for myself because I drained myself to him. I gave all my love, commitment, money, time and respect to him and to his 3 children (from his first wife) and I left none for myself…which made me weak and just cry…i don’t know how to start again :'(

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Empty, you have come to the right place. Let me invite you to connect with a mentor; just fill out the Mentor Request Form at http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/ and one of our mentors will connect with you by email. You can also join in one of our chat rooms at http://powertochange.com/discover/chat/ In both places you will find people who care and want to be a friend to those who are hurting.

    So what happened to your relationship? How long did thing fall apart? How has that impacted your other family and friend relationships?

  • empty says:

    my relationship of 25 years has left me betrayed, abandoned, and alone- so so very alone. I am humiliated and ashamed and stuck. I need a friend.

  • Chris says:

    Harry…sorry to hear of your struggles….life in a nutshell is spelled change i have found. people change, circumstances change, weather changes, job changes, relationship changes, etc. having been abandoned by my own wife, i can understand this personally. the only relationship we are sure of never changing is our relationship with God our father through his son jesus. God alone will be our truly best friend throughout our lives if we let him. otherwise we can be sure of nothing in this world. i encourage you to log onto knowingjesuspersonally.com or click talk to a mentor above to find out more on how to have a sure life through a sure relationship with jesus who loved you so much he will willing to die in your place and mine for our sins. i pray you would. that today you would take that first step towards having a personal relationship with your heavenly father who is always taking steps towards you to help you, heal you and hear you!!

  • Harry says:

    I feel like iv no one to talk to im absolutely heart broken how can I move on from the mother of my child I was with her on and off since I was 14 im 24 now and she wants no contact from me any more not only was she my girlfriend but also my best friend I dunno how to move on

  • Aldo says:

    Hello Rahel.

    I am sorry that you feel the way that you do. The fact remains, that God loves you Rahel, and that you should not let what other people say or do influence and minimize your love for Him. He wants the very best for you, but you must trust Him to bring that about in your life.

    If you would like to know what resources are available on this website (powertochange.com), or if you desire to further talk to a mentor, please go to powertochange.com and click on Talk With a Mentor. They will be happy to discuss any thoughts you may have on religion.

  • rahel yar says:

    Iv lost my faith couse of rude people like god she is the bigest slut there is im tranz and use think im perverse and your sill lack of understanding of gods word makes me sick use are bigets u use christ as a excuse to att atcck who u wont u clue lsee idiots I hop use rot in hell god is love but use ahave chaged him into the biget there is god wontend the world won with love but use only no hate I hate god couse of use I loved hime with all my hart but birth defects dont exist heybu rude lost pigs fu all up your selfs I give up on use I hope use r all marked for your hatread god by children of satan thats wat u r

  • Sharon says:

    to unknown– good question but I think no he was saved and an angel but he lost it when he fell. he is the one who kills/ steals and destroys what God has made, if he repented I think so but he is so evil he won’t

  • unknown says:

    Can Satan be saved?

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Sandi, I am sorry to hear about your mom’s passing. What a wonderful treasure to have had such a good relationship with your mom. That is not as common as it should be. You are truly blessed.

    Let me share a couple of ways to connect with other people here: 1) you can connect with one of our mentors who will walk with you and be a friend through struggles in your life. I know some of our mentors have also lost a beloved mother and they will be able to relate very well to your grief. Just fill out the Mentor Request Form at http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/ and one of our mentors will contact you by email soon; 2) we do have chatrooms as well where you can interact with people in real-time from around the world. You will find our chatrooms safe places filled with caring people who will welcome you into their lives. To join a chatroom go to http://powertochange.com/discover/chat/ and follow the instructions there; 3) another way to connect with others is through conversations like this in our Comments. One article where you will find people like yourself dealing with loss is http://powertochange.com/blogposts/2012/02/05/words-of-comfort You can read through the archive of comments, post your own comment and interact with others who have made comments in the past.

    Whatever you choose you will find people to whom you can share your story and be encouraged by. Let me pray for you: Heavenly Father, I pray for Sandi as she grieves the loss of her mother. You know how hard it has been on her and she needs Your comfort. Help her to find the support from others who will help point her to You. Guide her steps so that she can follow Your plan for how she can cope with the grief and how she can live out the purposes You have for her. Amen.

  • Sandi says:

    I am a single woman age 47 never been married. I am having such a hard time in my life since my mom passed in 2007. You see she was my best friend and now that she’s gone I feel so alone. There’s not a day that goes by I don’t think about her. People tell me that I’ll get over her but that’s not true to me. She left me her house but I ended up letting it be foreclosed on because everyday I came home I was crying. I didn’t know anything about selling it. I know this probably doesn’t make sense to some people but that house needed a lot of work and I couldn’t afford to fix it up.

    I have a full time job I’ve been on for 25 years which I love but everything seems so distant and its as if I’m just here without a meaning. I read my bible and pray to God to help me. I haven’t found a church home but I’ve visited quite a few. I’m just waiting for God to lead me to the church he wants me to join. I don’t have many “true” friends that I can say I trust so I decided to go online and try to connect. So here I am.

  • jennifer says:

    I can really relate to your article, I moved to a new town and had no friends at all. No visitors or anything. Soon i realized that chat rooms are full of interesting people and found plenty of friends from my own area. I now have a wide range of friends that respect me.

  • Barbara Alpert Barbara Alpert says:

    Dear Sylvia,

    I can feel the sadness that you are currently in and hope that you will find the inner strength to allow others, such as a few close girlfriends, back in to your life. Regardless of your husbands declining health, you need other people filled with life, joy, and happiness. Have you spoken to your doctor about the feelings you are experiencing? It sounds like you might be struggling with a bit of depression and maybe by opening up to others may in fact be a great source of help to you. Have you tried out the ladies chat room as this article talks about? If not, it might help you to begin opening up and realize that you are not alone in what you are going through. If you need someone to talk to, we have private online mentors available that can come aside and encourage you through this season of life. Just click on this link and complete the form and someone will contact you via email: http://powertochange.com/experience/talk-to-a-mentor/

    Sylvia, God does not want you to feel this way. Reach out to others that He places in your path to encourge, comfort, and have some enjoyable times with.

    Father God, I pray that You would blanket Sylvia with Your abundant joy. She is going through a lot of change at this time and needs to know that You are right beside her no matter what stage of life she or her husband are facing. She takes her marriage vows seriously and is committed to fulfilling such with her husband but may she come to realize that it is ok for her to have other relationships as well. I pray that You would reconnect her to some of her friends or bring new ones her way so she can enjoy the company of others and life as You would have her. In Jesus name, Amen

  • Sylvia Lundin says:

    I’m like too many. Here feeling that life has left me in its wake. I’m not alone or unloved but feeling as tho youth is gone and is that all there is. My husband of 30 years is ailing and I have become a nurse with nothing inside to feel alive. I have let it go for over 10 years and one day I looked and I looked up and I was old too. Feeling this is what is left. I wanted to feel the same things as when I was young. Marring a man I loved that was 18 years older than myself. I was told it would haunt me…. I am now seeing the years as my husband is ill . I’m feeling sorry for myself.. I feel guilty. I have lost interest in friends too. I do my duty but since I was 52 I simply do what is expected. Not always in the right spirit. I spoiled him for so long and now occassionally resent some things. I don’t deserve more, just miss the feelings. The nights we danced away, loved the nights away. Now it is sleeping alone, not minding tho. Just seeing things that make me think of when I was 16. thinking…or when I was 30… or even 50… now at 62………my work keeps the empyiness away. I won’t leave because it is til death but my insides say something else. I want to feel like I did when I was in love. I’m such a selfish person inside.He wants the same things I do. ….;.Its about choices made>>>>> decisions that will last for a lifetime. God provides all things, I’ll be blessed with that.

  • Prudence says:

    Indeed God has good plans for us. I am going through a rough patch but I know despite everything He loves me.

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