How safe is sex without a condom?

Written by Dr. Ginger Gabriel, Ph.D., M.F.T

sexnocondomI am 25 years old. I am worrying about sex with my boyfriend. He doesn’t like to use condoms and persuades me that it is safe if we just interrupt sex, but I am always afraid of pregnancy. Maybe I can calculate my safe days before or after menstruation? After sex I cannot get to sleep and I still feel very exited because he is near me. I feel very confused.

Advice: If you have sex, you can get pregnant. Condoms don’t always work. Without condoms he may enjoy it more, but will he help support you for the next 18 years while you raise his son? The only way to prevent pregnancy (and sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS) is not to have sex. My married friend, who has seven children, never intended to get pregnant. She relied on calculating the safe days. For the most part she did pretty well-she only miscalculated seven times in fifteen years.

I believe God made sex natural and fun, because He originally intended people to populate the earth. He also planned on children being raised in the context of a loving family. If you aren’t prepared to do the family part, you might want to consider waiting for sex until marriage.

Related: How to have the best sex of your life.

If you have a health question has an excellent collection of resources.

23 Responses to “How safe is sex without a condom?”

  • Doris Beck Doris says:

    Tom, the reality is that you are very lucky at this point that she hasn’t gotten pregnant since it is possible to get pregnant without penetration because of the motility of sperm. Tom and Rob, unprotected sex is never safe sex, and not only can it lead to unwanted pregnancy, but also to the spread of HIV, AIDS and all manner of STD’s. As the author says so well in the article above, ‘The only way to prevent pregnancy (and sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS) is not to have sex. My married friend, who has seven children, never intended to get pregnant. She relied on calculating the safe days. For the most part she did pretty well-she only miscalculated seven times in fifteen years.’

    niyati, the only truly safe sex is no sex. I know I sound like a broken record but I have seen too many people’s lives in ruins because they have equated their soul’s craving for intimacy to a need for sexual intimacy with a person. They are not the same but in fact it is substituting a cheap imitation for the real thing.

  • niyati says:

    hey i am just 17 years old and i have sex with my boyfriend by using condom but still m worried, so tell me is this safe for me or not????

  • Rob says:

    Hey, I had sex with my gf and it was her first time.. it was 5 days before her period. and the dy of her period she said she had it but after when she went home she said it was a pink liquid and it only lasted for 2 days.. So we kept on having sex and sometimes we had unprotected sex and this month she missed her period.. we took a pregnancy test and it said negative. What do u think is happening? She lost her virginity like a month ago

  • Tom says:

    Hey, I’ve been sexually active with my partner without a condom for over a year now… I’ve pulled out every time and made sure that I never came inside of her (she is not on birth control…) are we just lucky that she’s not pregnant yet?

  • cfast says:

    Sam, you should go to the doctor and get the proper tests done – they will tell you if you have any sexually transmitted diseases. Secondly, take the advice in this article for the future.

  • sam says:

    i had sex with many girls that also without condoms…. i m afraid of HIV – AIDS.. please reply

  • Bernard Bernard says:

    My wife and I have this incredible testimony that we never had sex before marriage with anyone and that is the safest and most satisfying. I am not ashamed of this and I give God all the glory. We will celebrate our 23rd anniversary and that is a proof you don’t have to get “to know each other” which really means having sex before marriage. So be safe and abstain. Be blessed!

  • dgman says:

    [Editor’s note: comment removed. Please see our terms of service, specifically the sections that refer to name calling and belittling other users.]

  • Doris Beck Doris says:

    preety, thank you for taking the time to visit our website and post your questions. Both condoms and birth control pills can be effective in preventing unwanted pregnancies if taken correctly and according to directions. However the pill does NOT protect you from HIV, AIDS, or STD’s so that is something to take into consideration. Condoms are more effective for prevention of those but they aren’t 100% effective either. Only abstinence is 100 % proven for that.

  • Mishti says:

    Luk preety dnt take pills ever it will realy bad efects on ur health

  • preety says:

    or taking i pill in a month ??? plzz suggest sumthin ..

  • preety says:

    is it safe to have sex ever week with condom ???

  • Doris Beck Doris says:

    Ashu it really depends not on the exact dates but how long her monthly cycle actually is which in turn is determined by when she ovulates. Knowing that determines when she is fertile and able to get pregnant. The best advice I can give you is NOT to have sex with a married woman!

  • Ashu says:

    Hi Friends,
    I had a sex with a married women twice within two weeks.and her menstruation period is 1-2 of every month.and i had a sex on 5 and 18 without condom.but i give her i-pill on second time.
    so now i want to ask 2-3 quick answer on this situation.
    1. will she pregnent ?
    2. Is this safe sex for me or not (if not then advice me what i’ll do now ).
    3. And what step are to be taken for future sex, ??

    thanks in advance…

  • Leah says:

    Dear Camila

    The best protection from pregnancy is abstinence. I would encourage you to go to your closes medical clinic and get information on the risks of unprotected sex and I would encourage you to talk to your parents if you are worried about pregnancy.

  • Camila says:

    I has sex Ruth my friend after prom and we didnt use a condom he didnt penetrare me for top lona cause it hurt me but everytime he felt it comino he pilles it out and put it inside again does that mean i am sabe from a pregnacy?

  • sam says:

    i have been doing sex putting condom with different different girls am i safe with hiv?

  • dominique says:

    i had sex with my boyfriend with out i condom but he didnt came we didnt do it for long but doese it mean i will fall pregnant

  • chitkaran says:

    I recently got married and donot wish my wife to be pregnant for another year. We tried to use condom but somehow didnt feel happy on using it. We want to have sex without using condoms. Only of our friends using pills for 2 years now is facing health problems nd cannot conceive hence my wife doesn’t want to go with pills as well….. Is there any other way ?

  • Nirbs says:

    i wanna doing sex with my girlfriend… am i use condom?? that safe for our sex??..but i wanna doing sex without condom…now what can i do??..
    please tell me ta right way..

  • Lane says:

    ricky – There is no safe way to have unprotected sex. If you don’t use a condom you will put both yourself and your partner at risk for STDs and possible pregnancy. It’s a really, really bad idea. Why wouldn’t you want to use a condom?

  • Zakir says:


    Best time is 10 days before menstruation and after 15 days of menstruation.

    But safe to use condom or Pill

    Dr. Zakir

  • tryrt says:

    actually the chances to get any kind of blood disease are really decreased when using a condom . there is nothing to worry about if you’re careful with your partner and don’t lose the control while getting penetrated . in my honest opinion the odds to get pregnated while using condoms are REALLY decreased