My husband and best friend were invovled in an emotional affair

Written by Dr. Ginger Gabriel, Ph.D., M.F.T

husbandbestfriendMy husband and my best friend were involved in an emotional affair, which I found out about before it developed into an actual physical relationship. I’m having a hard time getting past this. I find I do not want my husband to even talk to another woman, and when he does I am on pins and needles. I need advice and prayer.

Advice: I know this experience has caused a very traumatic time for you, and sometimes it takes a little while for recovery. But it sounds as if your husband and best friend have broken off their affair.

You, however, have suffered a loss of trust in your husband. The reason you are having difficulty in recovering is that you now have a problem with fear concerning the mate you had so implicitly trusted. Fear that your husband might get involved again is causing your inordinate reaction to his even talking with other women.

But I am sure you realize this cannot go on without hurting your marriage further, and that is one reason why you have written to me. So you have to deal with your fears! King David had trouble with his fears, too. Then he said, “I sought the Lord and he heard me, and he delivered me from all my fears” (Psalm 34:4). Please read the whole psalm; it will be very helpful to you.

Even though you don’t know how you can regain trust in your husband, you can trust everything in your life to the Lord. Rededicate your life to Him, and make Him the center of it; and you will have victory over your fears, for you will be trusting the Lord with everything, including your husband. Read also Philippians 4:4-8, and follow it. 

Ask the Lord’s grace to help you to be loving and forgiving toward your husband.

We have all been tempted at one time or another. Hopefully, this lapse will make him want to be a more faithful husband to you in the future. I’ll be praying for you.

One Response to “My husband and best friend were invovled in an emotional affair”

  • Agnes says:

    My patner and her boss(college friend) have emotinal affair, my patner told me that her boss have a problem to her husband and she tells a lot to my patner regarding the indifferences. my patner show affection and i see in his eyes the spark when he mention the name of her boss and the intimate that they have when they talk to each other. What can i do, can i talk the boss and my patner.

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