How do I get closure?

Written by M. Larson

getclosureI’ve been caught in this online dating game. It all began as a fun conversation I took part in to entertain myself while taking a break from work. I never would have thought the relationship would continue a year and a half later! We became best friends. At first we chatted online. Then after a couple of months, I gave him my phone number and we talked and laughed for hours at a time. Though we lived 200 miles from each other our schedules never matched, so we never had the opportunity to meet in person.

Then almost in an instant, things took a turn for the worse. His parents, who were chronically ill, wanted to see all of their kids settled before they passed away. So in an attempt to keep his family happy, he agreed to marry a woman his parents had chosen. When I first found out, I was shocked! But I decided to be the bigger person in all of this and told him that though I was upset, I would eventually be all right.

It’s been 3 months since I’ve spoken to him and I still have feelings for him. He never did call back to check on me or even just to say hello. I feel like I was used and thrown away. As much as I realize that it has ended, why am I still hurting? I need closure, but I’m not sure how to get it. Please help shed some light.

Advice: Welcome to the reality of the Internet world! You meet people, become involved with them, and you only know about them what they choose to tell you! I realize that you enjoyed the romantic attention from this man but please don’t grieve over his loss. I suspect that he was engaged when he started enjoying his conversations with you. And I don’t buy his baloney for a minute that it’s a forced marriage! He’s probably married now or perhaps he was already married and his wife found out about his flirtation with you. Whatever the case, you didn’t lose anything worthwhile.

My advice – forget him!  And please don’t allow the hurtful emotions of anger, bitterness, and resentment to drag you down into depression.

Don’t give up hope. Why not ask the Lord to send a good man into your life? After all, nothing is too hard for Him!

In Christ’s love, Dr. Muriel

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