Should I confront my mother abour her hurtful words?

Written by M. Larson

hurtfulmotherLately, my mom has been asking why she and I aren’t close like we used to be. I am a Christian and she is still testing the waters of Christianity. Last night I had a difficult time falling asleep. I was remembering the different times in my life when my mom has called me a “female dog.” Some of those times were in a joking manner, while others were very painful. I don’t want to live in the past or hurt my mom. Should I confront her, or just give it to the Lord?

Advice: Since your mother keeps asking you why you aren’t close as you used to be, obviously that is troubling her. Since you couldn’t sleep for remembering about how cruelly your mother spoke to you at times, I suspect that you need some unburdening of your own of the painful feelings (and probably resentment and anger) that your mother caused you.

So it might clear the air a bit on both sides if you follow Jesus’ advice. He said, “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over” (Matthew 18:15). And Luke 3:3 says, “And if he repents, forgive him.”

We can pray that this will result in the healing of the breach, as well as the inner healing of yourself. When we rid ourselves of “junk,” we realize true peace!

May the Lord be with you in this.
Dr. Muriel

8 Responses to “Should I confront my mother abour her hurtful words?”

  • Sharon says:

    good article thank you for posting this

  • Sue Rouse says:

    My kast sentence printed out all crazy like haha! What it should have said was, Jesus loves you! He wants to share His perfect Mother with you!!! Child of God, go your way with confidence in Gods perfect love of you.Remember the cruel words He recieved and continues to recieve? Unite the cruel words from your mom and sisters to the cross of Christ and know that you are especially chosen because u also share in sufferings just like God. Peace little daughter of God. Say your prayers and have joy??????

  • Sue Rouse says:

    Hello sweet 8th grade girl. My heart breaks for you in r eguards to the way your mother treats you.Ill bet she was taught to be this type of mother, by her own mother when she was young.She must have a broken heart of her own and only knows cruelty .. from how she was treated. Im sorry for her. You are the greatest gift a woman can recieve from God, besides faith..the gift of a child to love and nurture. Woyld you do me a favor and turn to the best earthly Morher when your own falls short? Its JESUS s mom. Mother Mary! Talk to her in yiur heart and tell HER your joys and sorrows. She will make up for the lack in your own Morher. Please turn to Jesus who loves you unconditionally and begin a relationship With The BlessedMother. Jesus and Mary will reveal the wounds inflicted by your mom who needs God !lastly PRAY FOR YOUR earthly MOM. It will help u forgive her and help u heal your own heart. Jesus loves you.n.He wab ts to share His mon with u?????

  • Sue Rouse says:

    Hello sweet 8th grade girl. My heart breaks for you in r eguards to the way your mother treats you.Ill bet she was taught to be this type of mother, by her own mother when she was young.She must have a broken heart of her own and only knows cruelty .. from how she was treated. Im sorry for her. You are the greatest gift a woman can recieve from God, besides faith..the gift of a child to love and nurture. Woyld you do me a favor and turn to the best earthly Morher when your own falls short? Its JESUS s mom. Mother Mary! Talk to her in yiur heart and tell HER your joys and sorrows. She will make up for the lack in your own Morher. Please turn to Jesus who loves you unconditionally and begin a relationship With The BlessedMother. Jesus and Mary will reveal the wounds inflicted by your mom who needs God !lastly PRAY FOR YOUR earthly MOM. It will help u forgive her and help u heal your own heart. Jesus loves you.n.He wab ts to share His mon with u?????

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Raz, you are not responsible for the response of the person who has hurt you. God calls you to speak the truth in love and to forgive. Remember Jesus died for us while we were still trapped in our rebellion against Him; that is the amazing love that God has for us. And we are called to love others with that same kind of self-sacrificing love. Jesus said, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” (Luke 6:27-28) You will not be able to do this on your own but as you look to God for His help He will give you the strength and wisdom for how to love well those who are hurtful towards you.

  • Raz says:

    I agree with the scripture to confront the person, if he repents, forgive him. BUT WHAT IF THEY DO NOT APOLOGIZE OR SAY THEY’RE SORRY.! Ok, maybe they would say the horrid things again…..but to save a relationship, they need to at least be sorry they hurt you, and SAY SO. If they don’t repent and take responsibility for it, then how can one forgive and stay in a loving relationship? My case is between my mother and myself. She doesn’t apologize to anyone for anything, ever! She is never wrong. She lacks compassion naturally. If she were not my mother, I would just avoid her as a bad one-time friend and write her off. We have not spoken now for over a year. Complicated….but until she apologizes from the heart, i do not know how to forgive and let it go. I am not able to carry on an insecure mother/daughter relationship that is heartfullyvfake.

  • Sharon says:

    i feel for you sami, my mom picks favorites too, i find it hard to confront her whens she drives me nuts, my mom is getting older and i find it hard to really love her, it hasn’t been a good life with her as my mom, i am a middle child of a family of seven, she had to pretty well raise us since my dad was home physically but not emotionally because of that she is a controller and she still is, is hard becaue i got raised to not talk back to parents

  • Sami says:

    Its the same thing about my situation. I just finished 8 th grade, now im on summer vacation. Being at home all the time means i see my mom more. She expects me and my sisters to be absolutely perfect. She constantly yells and screams about everything. She targets me specifically. If i dont do something perfect she yells at me and calls me lazy, stupid, fool, idiot. She says that i dont do anything. She says im useless. She picks favorites but she denies doing so but it is the plain truth. She wants me to be everything ky sisters are and i am not. I know that im not as good or as smart as them. But she consistently makes me feel like im not worth anything. There is never a time i walk away after a conversation with her feeling good about myself. She doesnt realize how horrible she makes me feel. Ive felt so bad that i even contemplated suicide multiple times. I dont know if im just being sensitive. I want to say something to her. She’s been hurting me for such a long time and im tired of it. Im tired if having someone who is supposed to love me unconditionally, hurt me in so many ways. I want to tell her that if my life is such a burden on hers then shw should please give me up for adoption because her bad treatment towards me has caused my sisters to thinks its ok to treat me bad too.

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