Would having phone sex with my boyfriend be a sin?

Written by M. Larson

sexoverphoneI’m dating a very good Christian guy who is in a different country from where I am now. While waiting to get married in a few years time, we still need maintain our intimacy and so he suggested that we have sex on the phone. I really see the need to be intimate since he is no ordinary male friend. I’ve been praying about this suggestion and I was wondering if it’s a sin? It’s sex, whether on the phone or anywhere else. He thinks it only becomes a sin when we have physical contact. What do you think? If it’s a sin, what do you suggest we do to keep our relationship intimate while waiting?

Advice: You do well to wonder about what this so-called Christian guy wants of you in the way of “intimacy”! Jesus said that if a man lusts after a woman, he commits adultery in his heart with her. This sex by phone fits that description–and it will be true of you too. God’s Word tells His people, “Keep yourself pure” (1 Timothy 5:22). If you engage in this kind of behavior, there’s no way you can keep yourself pure.

You call this guy “a very good Christian guy”. Well, in view of what he wants he is neither good nor Christian. Basically he wants you to do for him what Internet prostitutes do for guys! And if you went along with him, you would be defiled and cheapened – and fall away from the Lord.

Intimacy of the kind spoken of here should be reserved for married couples. Rather than give you advice on how you can stay “intimate” and together with this man, I really think the Lord would have you break off with him and his bad influence entirely. If you know and love the Lord, I believe He would want you to ultimately marry a truly good and decent Christian who is following Him and living His way.

I’m praying for you. Look to Jesus, and obey Him, dear!

In His love, Dr. Muriel

33 Responses to “Would having phone sex with my boyfriend be a sin?”

  • Elkay says:

    Carole, you are so right on with your understanding of the promises you made in your wedding ceremony and I thank you for speaking it out. Tim Keller pointed out that in traditional Christian wedding, each spouse is asked something like “Will you have this woman/man to be your wife/husband and promise to live with her/him. and cherish her/him, according to the ordinance of God, in the holy bond of marriage?”

    Each spouse answers “I will” making a vow to God before they turn to one another and say something like “I take you to be my lawful and wedded wife/husband, and I do promise and covenant, before God and these witnesses, to be your loving and faithful husband/wife. ”

    So the covenant with and before God strengthens the partners to make a covenant with each other. Marriage is therefore the deepest of human relationships, far more intimate and personal than a merely legal, business relationship; it is far more durable, binding, and unconditional than one based on just feelings and affection.

  • Carole says:

    My second husband and I are celebrating our 2nd anniversary today and we feel what makes us man and wife is the promises we made before God in our wedding ceremony. Yes we have a license but that is for governmental purposes. Our life revolves around God and our Church as that is where we met and fell in love. God put us together and it was the right thing to do.

  • Steven says:

    I have but one last thing to say in light of all that I’ve said before as I consider her statements but they have decided to wait toget married since that is the case I reserve the scripture States marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed undefiled and that God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral.therefore what I am stating is this that if you can get married get married if you desire to be with that person and of course or at the appropriate age to make such a decision and are prepared to make a lifelong commitment. If you still have doubts concerning the relationship and confusion concerning one another if you have not truly gotten to know this person and cannot see yourself is being wholly and solely committed to them then you should refrain from all sexual activity. there’s no need to be loose with your sexualality that would be sexually immoral and sin in the sight of God. if you have fallen into temptation and sin repent and seek God for restoration. remember God said that he is married to the backslider if you have backslidden and falling into temptation and sin through the lust of your flesh seek counsel of God and seek him and acknowledge your sin before him. God loves us and cares deeply for us I think it is good that this girl has brought this out for she is willing to step into the light and it is written he who comes into the light comes into the light that he may show that his works are done in God it also proves and shows right that we should be improved when we come into the light for all of us have sinned and come short of the glory of God and Jesus said anyone who buys in me shall bring forth fruit and a father should I prune them that they may bring forth more fruit.keep God first place trust his word and his wisdom he is faithful to his word may God bless all who read read may we all meditate on his truth and that we made no that which is good and pleasing and perfect will of God for our lives individually and corporately as his body his betrothed his churc in Christ Jesus our lord.

  • Steven says:

    I want to say that if we want to sincerely guide lead correct chastise love and grace show Mercy to persons that are in situations such as these that I think it would be wise to go a little deeper ask more questions and prayerfully give answers through scripture.scripture shows that it is better to marry than to burn with passion. so to directly state that this young man is not a good Christian because he has those passions alive in him and aroused in him I think is an unfair statement unless we know a little more about this person. I think much of what US Christians are tending to do is seeing the evil that is in this world we are becoming callous instead of patient genuinely loving and merciful and kind we have a tendency to jump straight to the evil that might be there when there may be no evil there at all let us be wise and walk in the day even as Christ would have us. is written if you see a man and a fault or sin that lead us not into this you who are spiritual Go and show them their fault guarding yourself that you fall not into similar temptation yourself. I think it would have been wise to ask this dear child of God her age how long they been dating why it is they may not be prepared to marry at this time with this information we can further make judgement concerning the situation I think it is commendable that she sought out Godly counsel we must guard ourselves knowing that we too have been tempted and that our faith has been tried.I believe at the good doctor who replied to this woman first may we examine his approach and I hope that he she does well to do so remember yourself at a young age if it be so that they are young but also remember yourself even now.

  • Steven says:

    just wanted to say that I made some typos or errors I hope that you could read past those and my last post one place I said If instead of as and other such grammatical errors and I cannot go back and make the changes I apologize once again

  • Steven says:

    I would like to say that I have had trouble with the subject myself. I met a beautiful lady online and I fell in love with and we both believe that God ordained completely and totally. I say and believe that in accordance with scripture this is in line with the truth. That this is a personal relationship matter between God and the couple and those God relates these matters such as the family members and those who are nearest to the two.mini persons speaking on biblical things I want to put everything in Black and White or should I rather say from a legalistic standpoint.the Holiness is black and white let’s look at some circumstances in the Bible the men of David We Were Soldiers went into the temple and ate the showbread and as it is written they were counted Guiltless. scripture also states do not be overly righteous in any good thing and also not to be overly Wicked. Understanding of that scripture says overly strict righteous standings are not necessarily righteous and sometimes you may blur the lines and still be righteous. I’m not saying to commit unrighteous acts with a person. and we are to honor marriage in every aspect in life. for those who have committed themselves to one another and truly believe in their hearts and minds and are committed indeed yet find themselves in a situation we’re a physical ceremony cannot take place who is another to judge but God again I say take it to the Lord in prayer I believe it is based upon each individual situation and God ultimately is the judge. as far as a young gentleman being good or bad Christian in truth of the scripture is there any such thing as a bad Christian Jesus himself said make the tree good and the fruit she’ll be good also. Young men make mistakes I do not condone that a man should not consider his ways before the Lord even if scripture says how can a young man purify his way by taking heed to the word of God.for you who have judged this man in such a manner I say judge not lest you be judged when the same measure that you judge so shall it be judged unto you. for he who stands in Judgment of another stand in Judgment of the law and there is one judge and one lawgiver and if you stand in Judgment of the law you break the law as it is written God have mercy and bring you to repentance.

  • Tom Tom says:

    George–

    Actually, it is in the Bible–in so many words. In Matthew 6, Jesus tells us that lust for someone other than your spouse is the same as adultery, thus breaking the 7th commandment. Have you ever looked at a person with lust George?

  • Yes. Of course it’s a sin. It says right in the bible about phone sex! Read your bible

  • Sharon says:

    to Alan thank you for your respond to RG good comment– sharon

  • Alan says:

    ANSWER TO RG…we can be forgiven ONLY if we are sorry for our sins and decide to change our behavior. God’ s mercy is not for those who want to play with Him,showing no respect for His commandments.and the second thing is…Jesus said: ” The Father and I are ONE”. And also: ” if you saw the Son, you saw the Father”. So, of course they are one.Jesus Himself says that!!! Watch out, your ideas are those of the Jeovha witnesses who do not consider Christ a true God like the Father and so they are NOT real Christians.

  • Chris says:

    teja….from a biblical perspective, if that would be helpful for you, i understand a marriage to be two people who commit to each other for life in living together in love between themselves and the descendents God would give them. this commitment would be made in a public fashion for their entire community to know about….genesis 2.24 to 26, genesis 24, john 2, hebrews 13.4, matthew 19, deuteronomy 24, malachi 2.

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Teja, That is an important question isn’t it? God does not give specific instructions in the Bible to address what constitutes a proper wedding, but it always affirms the cultural norm by which a society recognizes a marriage. So we can see Abraham and Isaac following a cultural process in Isaac’s union with Rebekah, where Isaac brought Rebekah into his mother’s tent and she became his wife (Genesis 24:62-67). In their son, Jacob’s case, there was a more elaborate ceremony including a feast and a presentation of the bride by her father (Genesis 29:20-22). The marriage between Ruth and Boaz is more complicated because of the cultural norms of their day including a proposal, witnesses, and contracts (Ruth 3-4). By the time we get to Jesus’ day, we see that the Jewish wedding had become much more prolonged process. Jesus participated in a wedding at Cana (John 2:1-11) used the imagery of weddings in His parables (Matthew 22:2-14, Luke 14:16-24) and we have record of the Jewish marriage traditions of the time of Jesus (http://www.biblestudytools.com/commentaries/revelation/related-topics/the-jewish-wedding-analogy.html) We even have some information about wedding traditions in the Persian Empire through the account of Esther (Esther 2)

    I think in the absence of any specifics in the Bible of what constitutes a wedding, and an affirmation of the marriages that followed the culturally recognized weddings, it is best to affirm that a couple is considered married when they follow through with what the culture they live in considers marriage. I would suggest that the ceremony recognize the authority of God over the marriage and avoid the worship of other deities as a part of the ceremony, but when the culture considers someone married, so does God.

    I have been asked this question before from young people who either are sexually active or wish to become sexually intimate with one another prior to their wedding ceremony. My response to them is that there is great significance in the wedding ceremony and the approval of the community to which they belong. Putting aside your physical intimacy until your union is officially recognized by society is a valuable process. The time of preparation for the wedding is a valuable time to focus on your emotional connection and commitment to one another which will be a far stronger uniter than your physical intimacy.

    Does that answer your question Teja?

  • teja says:

    When will god consider a man and woman are married??

  • Alfred says:

    I agree with the way Dr. Muriel Larson covers this topic. Yet, since it has been years since this blog started; have these two young people not been able to get married yet?
    I found it interesting and explanatory what Andrew (July 2011) says: “there is a physical chemical attraction released when any type of sex that occurs with phone sex, cam sex, petting and intercourse which feels fine when the act is occurring. The high wears off though and on to the next exciting thing. With people of non-faith and faith there is an overwhelming sense of closeness that occurs when any type of sex is involved because there is a chemical release which is more powerful than drugs which is why it is dangerous to do this type of sex or any type.”
    My feeling is that the sooner they get married the better; and that getting each other sexually aroused while on the phone is NOT a good thing to do! If this couple is not planning on getting married for several years, they are much better off growing their relationship, getting to know one another better and being friends.
    Marriage vows are recorded in heaven, and sex as ordained by God is a very beautiful thing for a married couple, whole having sex outside of that is asking for trouble. Blessings, Alfred.

  • Artis says:

    Sex via phone is impossible.
    Phone uses electromagnetic pulses only.
    If he is your boyfriend or husband you should talk with each other About ththis.
    And finally, i see you don’t have genuine relationship, if you had honest relationship you would ask him,not some random person on the web.

  • Animalistic says:

    I garuantee majority of the commenters; lost their virginity before Marriage, but its okay. God will forgive them. I dislike nothing more than a hypocrite. Its sad to see that most religious people are the worst at sinning. Why? Because they usually have something to hide.

  • Rg says:

    First I think it’s s beautiful thing that you are striving to live your life by got principles. Afterall, who better than to direct our steps than our designer? Isaiah 48:17,18. I being a single Christian have struggled with phone sex, I’m 30. Still haven’t found the right man- fall in to sin. Do I believe that God keeps account of the injury ? Absolutely not . If he can forgive king David , or Manasseh , he can most certainly forgive you. Jesus died for our sins, we our insulting his father if we think the ransom his father Jehovah gave – Jesus very life wouldn’t be big enough to cover our mistakes . Not that we would take advantage of His mercy .but the very fact the you care to please your Heavenly Father , I’m very sure warms his heart, and he will help you please him – through ur sincere prayers. On to my next point- that I feel needs to be cleared. Gods name is Jehovah. Yes Jehovah is Jesus father – they are not one . He came down to earth to vindicate his fathers name. He prayed to his father . Never once were we told to pray to Jesus . He always directed glory to his father Jehovah. He wanted his name sanctified. Unfortunately , imitation Christians – imposters- came in and removed Jehovah’s name from the bible some 7000 times . And replaced it with lord. God. Confusing everyone . Yes we need to give glory to Jesus- but ultimately we are to pray to the creator or heaven and earth. We need to pray and get to know Jehovah. Learn about Him! He reveals through his word the bible – a hope for the future. Psalms 37,11,29 think about the Lord’s Prayer . Let your will take place on earth as it is in heaven. His will for the earth is for humans to be perfect and have ever lasting life to see our dead loved ones again, healthy and young . No sickness pain or death . Revalation 21:3,4. Jesus prayed to Jehovah his father so many times in the bible. He wasn’t praying to himself. :)

  • Shelley says:

    Thank you for both od your responses, as you seek His grace.

  • Yes I think by know already that it’s not a add in. No man or women us perfect, that’s why god died for us.our sins to be forgiven because he knows no one is perfect.and if you really want as one. Advice call me lets talk about this ok. Call me asap at [it is our policy not to publish personal contact information]

  • Andre says:

    1 Corinthians 7

    Concerning Married Life

    7 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

    8 Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

    10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

    12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

    15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

    Concerning Change of Status

    17 Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. 18 Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts. 20 Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.

    21 Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so. 22 For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freed person; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings. 24 Brothers and sisters, each person, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.

    Concerning the Unmarried

    25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

    29 What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

    32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

    36 If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong[b] and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37 But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.[c]

    39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40 In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

  • Kate says:

    Hi Andre,

    Great to hear back from you! I find myself nodding in agreement with your post. At age 30, I don’t think I’m that far beyond your generation, and I definitely agree that I would have been very grateful to receive some good godly advice about my marriage. To know more about the meaning and design of marriage, and the beauty of marriage and sex, and God’s purposes in sanctifying us, certainly would have been a great help.

    Do you have any particular books or resources that you’ve found useful?

    Grace and peace,
    Kate

  • Andre says:

    Kate,
    Thank you for your follow-up post. I think Jesus does give us guidance to herd us like sheep. I don’t think Jesus’s intentions are controlling or evil.
    I think life is delicate and sometimes there needs to be care taken in giving blanket advice. Some of the advice given earlier in this post included breaking up with the “good guy,” which I think is best left to the discretion of the young lady in the relationship, and even is an aggressive suggestion without more information. I think it’s pretty honorable that she brought forward this question. The young man sounds like he waited for her to a certain degree also, so that she wasn’t doing anything she was uncomfortable with.
    Is sex before marriage a sin? Absolutely. But what is the appropriate response to that sin? Marriage or separation?
    I think our culture encourages my generation to wait for marriage before waiting for sex. My thought is that it’s hard to judge a relationship online, but I find it discouraging when the church uses “Christian rhetoric” to severe couples that just need guidance and perhaps some encouragement to get married if there is mutual serious commitment.
    Respectfully,
    Andre, age 23

  • Kate says:

    Hi Andre,

    Thank you so much for your input. You brought up a strong point when you said, “If he was just a very good guy I would have a different thought, but a very good Christian guy means to me he is tight with Jesus. I can’t see Jesus asking for phone sex.”

    The way I see it, the Lord gives us rules and the law to guide us, not to restrict us. Like sheep, we are all prone to wander and we will get into trouble! We need our good shepherd to keep us in safe pastures, to care for our needs, which definitely include bodily needs, so we have to wait on Him and trust Him. He will not lead astray, and He will never contradict Himself, so reading the Bible with the help of the Holy Spirit is key.

    What do you think?

    Grace and peace,
    Kate

  • Andre says:

    I think Christians get way out of touch by reading the letter of the law and not the spirit. And frankly not even the letter sometimes. How many Christians read their Bible’s let alone have read it entirely to get the full context to understand the spirit and the letter of what is written to us. Sex. It’s a wonderful thing. I remember reading in the old testimanent that a man was to marry a woman if he seduced her if the father permited. And if the father did not find the young man worthy of his daughter he was to pay a fine determined by the father instead. I find that interesting. Ronald Reagan I was told had sex before he got married I don’t think he is going to hell. But he married her! And they had a very sweet relationship. One of my favorite quotes from him was written from Camp David while his wife was in Washington. “I miss you even when I sleep.” It was in a letter to Nancy. And they were married til his death. Not everything is black and white. People get on “righteous” tangents on what you should be doing with your life. I mean honestly you started off your post with “a very good Christian guy.” If he was just a very good guy. I would have a different thought, but a very good Christian guy means to me he is tight with Jesus. I can’t see Jesus asking for phone sex. On that same note Jesus also didn’t get married because of his commitment to live God’s word. With that in mind where do you fall. Are you going to marry him? Did you? Are you going to be a nun for Jesus? Probably not. At the end of the day your salvtion is not on the line. Romans 10:9-10 you are saved if you believe and confess. Otherwise we are living under the old testemant and aren’t really “children” of God with incoruptable seed. Birth is permanent. None the less you will have to stand before God to be judged for your works. You wont loose your salvation but you will be rewarded for not for everlasting consequences. I believe Jesus will talk to you if you pray.

  • Doris Beck Doris says:

    We won’t edit or delete your comment Max. You are entitled to your own opinions and as long as we can respect one another it’s fine to disagree.

    I think the important thing to remember is that this gal had specifically asked for advice regarding this relationship with a Christian guy that was asking for this and I would agree that it wouldn’t be healthy to have these kinds of phone calls with him. They would only result in physical frustration on both ends of the phone call. When our minds engage in phone sex our bodies follow. Much like looking at pornography, we begin to train our bodies to respond a certain way which is not necessarily healthy for our relationship as it grows.

    If this couple is not planning on getting married for several years, they are much better off growing their relationship, getting to know one another better and being friends. An excellent video that explains more about this can be found here http://powertochange.com/itv/family/preparing-for-marriage/

  • Max says:

    So I don’t know if this will be deleted or not, but I think that is the worst advice ever. It is extremely unfortunate that you can’t get married right now, but if you have made that commitment in your hearts then there’s no reason not to engage in phone sex. Marriage happens in your heart and through god before anything else and if you guys have passed that point then I wouldn’t let people who are ALREADY MARRIED tell you what you can and can’t do. However, there’s lots of differing opinions out there and I understand if you decide that it is a sin despite your commitment to each other. But don’t throw that commitment away just because he asked for something. Relationships aren’t about leaving as soon as something weird happens and everyone is raised in a different environment. As long as he respects any decision you make and doesn’t try to worm his way into getting you to do it there is NO REASON to leave him. Jesus is understanding and you aim to be understanding too.

  • Doris Beck Doris says:

    I have to agree Emmanuel…as the author says it so well, Intimacy of the kind spoken of here should be reserved for married couples.

  • Emmanuel says:

    it is A seen, its is, no dobout on that The Holy Sprities hprove this in every ones heart. The problem with us to day is that we wnat every that we cana call seen to be moere cralified in the Bible, forgrtting that Jesus said the Holy Spirit will teach us every thing and wil tell us the other thing which are no well know to us.
    I want to you that the Holly Spirite and our Consiouce will stand to Judge us becouse we can not deceve ourselves,.
    Phone SEX IT IS A sin.

  • Andrew says:

    AJ I highly doubt you have ever opened up the Bible and read the truths that were inside the book as your thoughts are pretty much what Jesus fought against with the Pharisees in the Bible. Hopefully you will find the courage to read the words and find out what a Pharisee is. Try to dispute the fairy tails that you say are untrue. You seem to be pretty intelligent and I challenge you to prove me wrong as many have tried and failed.

    Your logic is severely flawed as according to your thinking as long as the law says it is ok to do it then it is fine to so even if a fairy tail book says it is not right. The question is what happens when the law changes as the morality of people are changing. First the law said that to be married you needed to have a certificate, then the law changed to living common law is the same as being married, now it is changing to being married to a man and a man or a woman and a woman. Then it will continue as the perverse society we live will keep on changing the boundaries. This will not be good enough because the thrill of the same sex wears off so then we will want to change the laws to have sex with children and continue the downward slope. This is what occurred with the Romans as there society collapsed under their perverse ways.

    Many secular sex psychologists who don’t believe in Christ or the Bible say there is a physical chemical attraction released when any type of sex that occurs with phone sex, cam sex, petting and intercourse which feels fine when the act is occurring. The high wears off though and on to the next exciting thing. With people of non faith and faith there is an overwhelming sense of closeness that occurs when any type of sex is involved because there is a chemical release which is more powerful than drugs which is why it is dangerous to do this type of sex or any type. There is a reason why there is a billion dollar porn sex industry and recently in an article in an England online newspaper they estimated that 1.3 million sex addicts were unable to break the habit of porn. This resulted in a secular psychologists setting up an online psychologist center to help people break this habit as they do not have to give there names.

    Christians mistakenly leave Christ at the door after they get married and after a year of sex they find it not fulfilling any longer as they have forgotten to have Christ in the relationship. Then they lose there way and divorce and turn to the same sex for physical satisfaction when this is not longer satisfying they find another exciting thing to deprave there perverted mind. Sex is an extremely beautiful thing however our culture and society has perverted it in such a manner that people of faith believe the lies that that the media spreads.

    SEX outside of marriage destroys because the more you have it the more you want it and the harder it is to get out of the trap as sex becomes lust not love and lust wears out. King David had sex with Bathsheba as he lusted after her, King Solomon had a harem and both lives were destroyed. If you don’t believe in proven history of these two men. Most recently Ryan Giggs the famous England soccer player who slept with his brothers wife before she got married to him got her pregnant and the week before her wedding gave her money for an abortion. The perverse continued as during his marriage he slept with his brothers wife till and tried to hide it via a court order till a brave parliamentary MP exposed the lies and the perverted man that he was. There was much much more that occurred as a secular world knows it is wrong but it started with thought life. There are many other stories for others who comment on the blog regarding it is OK take serious look at how sex destroys lives and I believe that if you study the Bible you will agree with the interpretation of the Bible.

  • AJ says:

    In all honesty, theres probably some quite good advice on here if your considering stealing or murdering somebody. But sexual desire is natural, do what you feel comfortable with and no more provided your inside the law of course. If your happy to have phone sex with your boyfriend, crack right on and don’t let some quotes from an ancient and frankly third hand account storybook make you feel guilty!

  • Lucy says:

    Jessica, i really sympathise with your freinds but i will tell you its really christian and good to wait until marriage, no other way about it, whether physical or verbal. Sex is reserved for married couples, but one mistake christians make is not to regard it as a Gift from God, that the engange in it in what they thing is a christian way and thing being explicit is worldly yet they crave for the worldly ways and end up cheating their partners and result in divorces. what i will tell you is, what ever these people sought where ever they went they already had it all in their marriges, free for them to take. We have it gifted to us in the confinement of marriage, what ever satisfaction they sought from extramalital or gay relationships, is already gifted to us in marriage, what i will tell my christian freinds is to stop pretending not to want more and embrace this gift (as in the book of Solomon)within our marriages and will shall never want, be open with our partners and experiment in the explicit ways we think are worldly and our marriages will be rock solid. this looks like a small element of marriage but though small if it fails it wrecks the marriage. Lets trust our father who provides our needs, knows what we want and gives us good and right gifts to meet the needs.

  • Jessica Eagle says:

    I disagree with this… marriage in the “old days” around 100 BC was not what it is today. God knows if you truly in your heart love and plan to marry this person. If pure meaning that you are with this person for the rest of your life I think it is perfectly fine… not to have sex but to speak of it. Because weddings today are government not God. Making a promise to God to Marry is serious though so do not go into phone sex thinking if you break up you can just pray and move on. But if it’s the one… and you just dont have the money…. or the place to marry that’s not marriage in God’s eyes.

  • Felina says:

    I don’t know that I totally understand this. See, when I was a kid growing up in church, there was always that stigma of “sex is only for marriage”…so a great number of my friends waited until marriage. They didn’t date traditionally, but “courted”, which meant sitting next to each other in church, or going on group dates but never really being alone because they didn’t want to tempt themselves.. A good number of them married young, and seemed soooo happy and sooo in love.

    And now they’re ALL divorced. Some are very disillusioned; see they thought that if they followed all the rules they have been taught, everything would work out.

    But it didn’t.

    Most of my friends are atheists now, and some later on decided that a homosexual lifestyle would make them happier.

    They were doing everything they were supposed to…so why didn’t it work?

Leave a Reply