Communication with Your Spouse

Written by Gail Rodgers

The other day I read some statistics on the high percentage of marriages that end in divorce. And thought of the countless others that are unhappy, frustrated relationships, not ending in divorce but inadequately meeting the needs of the partners.

Lack of communication seems to be one of the prime causes of marriage breakdown. Titles such as “Communicating with Your Husband” or “Does Your Husband Talk To You?” are seen frequently in the current women’s magazines.

In our circle of friends, we have all heard the words, “Bob and I just don’t seem to talk anymore. He goes his way and I go mine.” Of course it always takes two to make or break a relationship, but something I read the other day casts a little light on one small area of this business of communicating with one’s spouse.

Proverbs chapter 31 speaks of the qualities of a good wife. The entire chapter can be a challenge to any wife and mother. But verse 11 stood out particularly to me, “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.” How often have I sat with other women and the topic has turned to husbands. One may hear anything from derogatory remarks, to intimacies shared, to general complaints such as whose husband leaves his socks lying where.

Sometimes communication breaks down when one realizes nothing is private with his mate. Everything may go to the neighbours’ for coffee. Are we truly being worthy of the trust of our husbands? Can they safely confide their fears and their hopes KNOWING the things they share will not go around the block? The “family loyalty” which was taught in our home seems to be diminishing in society today. And it is an important quality in keeping the doors of communication open.

Communication must be worked at. It doesn’t just happen and it doesn’t remain without effort. Our husbands need to know we are listening to them and hearing the things that have happened to them and the confidences they have to share. They need to know their thoughts are safe with us. For some, it may mean backtracking, rebuilding that trust or reopening the ears. To us all the efforts we put out will be worthwhile in either rebuilding or strengthening our bonds of communication with the men we love.

“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her” (Proverbs 31:11).

No comments yet

Leave a Reply