An Unreasonable Joy

Written by Doris Beck

doris_beckI have always loved babies. Even as a young girl, you would see me carrying my little cousins around on my hip. So I just assumed that when I got married and decided to have children, it wouldn’t be a problem. When my first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at thirteen weeks I was heartbroken.

Since I got pregnant right away the first time, I thought we would just go ahead and try again. But because of complications after my miscarriage it wasn’t so simple. I couldn’t get pregnant and so I was booked for a D&C (a Dilatation & Curettage, where the miscarriage is treated by scraping out the lining of the uterus).

When the time came for my pre-op testing, I was quite sure that I might be pregnant again but my doctor didn’t believe it.  When my pregnancy tests came back negative, I trusted her word. Yet my husband and I struggled with it. What if I was indeed pregnant with our much-wanted child? We prayed and asked God to protect the baby if that was the case.

My miracle baby

Seven and a half months later we were the proud parents of a healthy baby boy — a full-term baby! God had protected him and even the surgeon and my obstetrician had to admit that Jamie was indeed our miracle baby! Today he is a young adult who loves life and in a few weeks will be getting married and starting a family of his own!

There were times during that pregnancy when I became very anxious. With each complication I came to the point where I had to consciously make a choice. Would I become anxious about losing this baby? Or would I place my trust in God, who knew exactly how it would all turn out right from the beginning? Afraid that I would miscarry again, the doctor put me on bed rest for two months.

One day, laying flat on my back, I called out to God. As I looked out the bedroom window I saw a beautiful rainbow, which is a sign of promise in the Bible. I decided to make my requests known to God and leave the outcome to him. And I am thankful that he knew every moment of my baby’s life before he was even conceived!

I actually had a couple of almost normal months until I was on my back again, this time with toxemia. I was hospitalized and ordered to be on total bed rest once more. At that time I struggled with feelings of anger, disappointment and fear of losing my child, not to mention the anxiousness of not knowing what would happen next.

Again I came to the point where I could say, “Lord, this child is indeed in your hands.” With all the complications Jamie and I almost died during my labor and delivery, yet God miraculously intervened and we both survived.

Getting pregnant again

My next pregnancy ended in another miscarriage and after that it took almost another year before I was pregnant again. We were thrilled, but at four months I became very ill and had to undergo an emergency appendectomy! Again my life as well as the life of my unborn child was at risk.

The surgeon told my husband that my appendix was “hot” and would not have lasted until morning. We agonized through the following days wondering if I would miscarry again and we knew we had a choice to make: would we be overwhelmed? Or would we turn to God, rejoice in him and with thankful hearts make our requests known to him?

Getting to know God better

I spent almost that entire pregnancy on my back as my blood pressure again went dangerously high. I had three months of premature labor, which were also months of incredible growth in my relationship with God. I could do nothing but spend time with him and that is exactly what I did.

As I concentrated on getting to know God better, it became easier to trust him in every situation, especially to bring this tiny baby healthy into our family. Heather arrived safely and she is a constant reminder of those long months I spent being still before God.

Three years later I finally had my first normal pregnancy. That was when Jody joined our family. I had to choose to trust God for each pregnancy and each complication. And now I continue to choose to trust him to help me raise each of our children. With three young adults that isn’t always easy. But it is a choice I make.

One of my favorite passages in the Bible says, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:4,6,7)

Without Christ in me I could never choose joy. It would only be a feeble attempt at positive thinking. The source of my true joy comes from my right relationship with him and he gives me the power to make that choice even in the most difficult circumstances. As I trust him with every detail of my life I’m learning the secret of being content in any and every situation.

What about you? Are you living without joy? Do the circumstances of your life seem to be more than you can handle? It doesn’t have to be that way. You can live a life of joy as the Holy Spirit brings about God’s own character within you. The first step is to make sure that Christ is really on the driver’s seat in your life and that you are allowing His Spirit to fill you and empower you.

Pray this simple prayer and by faith invite Him to fill you with His Spirit:

Dear Father, I need You. I acknowledge that I have sinned against You by directing my own life. I thank You that You have forgiven my sins through Christ’s death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as You commanded me to be filled, and as You promised in Your Word that You would do if I asked in faith. I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I thank You for directing my life and for filling me with the Holy Spirit. Amen.

3 Responses to “An Unreasonable Joy”

  • Doris Beck Doris says:

    I’m glad you enjoyed my story Brenda! It’s always an encouragement to me to know others can be blessed by reading it. I too love Psalm 118:24 and appreciated the reminder to choose joy because today truly is the day that the Lord has made!

  • I loved this testimony, Doris! Learning to live by faith is definitely the greatest journey I have embarked upon and the best choice I have ever made in my life. Truly, it is the only choice for real and abundant life I have actually made. Before this, I lived my life huddled in fear, a small, dark life curled in a literal fetal position, existing more than living. Today, I love life and wake up each morning excited to see what the Lord has for me. And like you, I have come to love a Bible verse on rejoicing: “This is the day that the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it!” [Psalm 118:24] There is truly never a time when I cannot look into a situation and find something that the Lord has placed in it for good, as He promises in His Word to make all things work for the good of those who love Him.[Romans 8:28] We really do serve an awesome God!

    Thanks again for this beautiful testimony of life and love, Doris! God bless you and your family.

    Brenda Miller

  • Sue Niles says:

    Thanks for sharing your great testimony. My website is old and needs some revision but still it tells one of my journey of faith.

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