Don’t Guard Your HeartVideo provided by: Chris Weatherly

Written by Tia Glenn-Cooke

Stop guarding your heart.

Maybe this seems counterintuitive. “Guard your heart” is an expression thrown around a lot, especially in Christian circles, and it’s commonly taken to extremes. It’s supposed to encourage you to be modest, to protect yourself, to keep the bad guys out of your head and heart.

But there’s a danger when you try so hard to keep the bad guys out: it becomes all too easy to keep everyone out. It becomes natural to protect yourself from being known at all. From being loved at all. Chris Weatherly has created this gorgeous short film called Tangled Sheets about the danger of building those walls around your heart.

If you feel alone, or you’re struggling in your relationships, or just want to talk, our mentors are here for you.

19 Responses to “Don’t Guard Your Heart”

  • Carol says:

    Wow! Great! One of the great issues of our relationships today. All relationships – work, home, family, Thank you………

  • Frances says:

    Wow. Beautifully done. The music in the background so hauntingly moving. Vulnerability is not an easy or talked about thing too often. Thank you for sharing. It stirred me up if that makes sense…

  • Lorraine says:

    Please could I have a written copy of video because The internet here is very slow. (If that is possible?) I would greatly appreciate that.

    Lorraine

  • Tia Glenn-Cooke Tia Glenn-Cooke says:

    Hi Lorraine! Here’s the text as transcribed by me, written by Blake Frazier.

    “My father used to say (idiom in another language) it’s a simple phrase, to the point. But it carries a truth we lose sight of. It says sharing your problems often relieves them. I wonder if there was a time when sharing your burdens with someone was easy. Or expected. It’s certainly not now, but what’s changed? You learned a long time ago to keep them to yourself. You learned that being vulnerable is being weak. Do whatever it takes to fit in. Even if it means fitting in where you know you don’t belong. You learn to guard your thoughts, your troubles, your heart. You learn to put on a strong face, and go on like everything is okay. But someone came along who was hurting just like you. Carrying around a lifetime of secrets, with no one to share the weight. He had learned to keep them in, like you. And so the both of you go along with your secrets together. You wanted to share everything. To share your lives. Maybe you shared your bodies, your families, friends, children…but you never shared your hearts. So you never shared love. And now you’re here. You’ve got a life full of things, full of words, full of nighttime conversations and events you don’t want to go to. It’s full, but it’s missing something. So you keep quiet and you breathe in the cold air. You keep pretending that things are perfect and hope that no one finds out you’re anything less. That no one knows you stay up nights in tangled sheets and wonder if there’s a better life. We lose each other in keeping to ourselves. To refuse to share your struggles is to live in a half-world. It means denying all of the beautiful and ugly things that make us human. It’s trading the ocean for a shallow, shiny pool. Diamonds for glass. So, I say drink deep from the cup of life. Move forward. Look fear in the face and choose the courage to be real. And human. Choose the courage to be honest. And vulnerable.”

  • ada ikpoh says:

    This is easily one of the most relatable and inspiring videos i’ve ever watched. Thank you.

  • Kathryn Kathryn says:

    Hi Lorraine, Certainly this short video spoke to me too. Years ago that’s how I was because that’s how I was brought up, keep things to yourself, especially family things. It crippled me for ages, even when I realised that I was a child of God. But He is gracious and gradually, with the help of my loving husband and other Christian friends I have been able to “open up” and realise that the Holy Spirit really does guide and lead us into all truth. Now life is so much more worthwhile as I do not spend time thinking about myself and how people will react to me, rather I feel led to share Jesus with them and am willing to share my struggles and triumphs because of who has transformed me. I hope you are finding this to be true in your life too. Blessings.

  • Kathryn Kathryn says:

    That comment was for you too Ada!!

  • Suzanne says:

    Just what I needed to hear…thank you

  • Shelley says:

    Thank you for you comment and may the Lord our God bless you, in Jesus Name Amen

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Wayne, I am sorry that this was hurtful to you. It can be hard to share yourself unreservedly with someone. To do so not only puts you at risk of getting hurt but to some level guarantees that you will. Everyone is broken and we all act selfishly towards others. And yet we were made to connect, to share and to be intimate. To guard yourself so that no one can hurt you will end up destroying you from within.

    That’s why I have such comfort in knowing Jesus first, and following His leading in my relationships. He IS perfect, and He will never act selfishly. He helps me wisely choose how to connect with others. He brings healing when other people hurt me. He helps guide me so that I put aside my selfishness and keep from hurting others.

    Have you ever felt Jesus leading you in your relationships?

  • Hu says:

    I think it’s great advice for a woman to share problems. But the minute a man does that, he is thought of as weak. Men, don’t share your problems or your victories. Keep them close to your heart and share them only with The Lord. OF course, you can tell people some things, but be very, very wary of who you share personal information with. Women and children, it’s different. You should talk to whoever will listen.. and lots of people will listen. Men, nobody really cares, unless you are paying a professional or praying to Jesus. That’s life.

  • Aldo says:

    Hu, I agree with you that one should be very careful with who he/she shares personal information with, women and children included. On the other hand, we in the body of Christ need to minister to each other, and it quite often requires us telling our own personal experiences which will impact others’ lives.

  • Marie says:

    Lovely video. I believe that I have closed my heart out of fear of being hurt. I am very lonely at times and only have one friend and she is not available all the time. As I got older, I lost touch with many people who now have their own families and meeting new people is too challenging. So you could say that I have isolated myself from everyone. I pray all the time and want to make new relationships, but I fear opening up about my life to others. Hopefully, that will change one day.

  • Chris says:

    Marie…i am sorry you are feeling alone…none of us are made for that. God has a wonderful family for us in the Christian church where you should be welcomed with open arms. if you would like, just let me know your city and state, i can check on some church options for you. that way with christ as your best friend and his church as your human Friends, you wont have to continue living alone. for more information on having a jesus as your best friend and savior log onto knowingjesuspersonally.com or click talk to a mentor above. praying jesus console you in knowing he is right there with you and wants to live in your heart as well. blessings!

  • Blessed Again says:

    WHAT WE WANT:
    Share our problems;
    Go on together, without revealing our secrets;
    Keep quiet and pretend things are perfect;
    Wonder if there is a better life;
    The courage to be real, human, honest, and vulnerable
    ************************************************************

    Psalms 1
    Everyone has a Choice to select people to surround their lives.
    You can CHOOSE if people bring frustration, despair, depression, anger, bitterness, love, joy, peace, etc., into your life.
    And even stick with your Choice, daily. But it is by Choice – Everyday.

    Ephesians 6:12
    We don’t fight back-and-forth with our flesh, but the wrestling we face is within our spirit. Our spirit can be the spirit of anger, depression, etc., which tries to be replaced with forgiveness, love, joy, peace, self-control, etc. But every moment, we CHOOSE what spirit dwells within us. Because the spirit of Good and evil cannot dwell together, at the same moment.

    2 Timothy 1:7
    God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of Power, Love, and a Sound Mind.

    Romans 1:28-32
    The unrighteous spirit (of man), is fornication, lust, wickedness, greed, envy, being malicious, murderous, debating, deceiving, rumor-spreading, backstabbing, haters and blamers of God, spiteful, proud, boasters, evil inventors, disobedient, without understanding, promise-breakers, rejecting natural affections, cold-hearted, unmerciful, and cheering on those who display these behaviors.

    Galatians 5:22-23
    The fruit of the Spirit (of God), is Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There are no written laws against this behavior

    Proverbs 4:19-27
    The unrighteous spirit leads into darkness and we do not understand why we are stumbling. But when we CHOOSE to go in the path that leads to the healing of our hearts, we live more beautiful lives, where our hearts are not destroyed or filled with destruction, but filled with love that moves forward, and considers where we are moving to; A life to share

    I remain,
    Blessed Again

  • Susan says:

    Marie,

    Yes prayerfully find a right, Bible teaching church. You will really forget about your loneliness. get involve with their activities. You will be busy. Enroll for Bible study or correspondence courses, I am telling you, you will never feel that, you are all aone. More than everything, know that, Jesus is there for you.

  • Susan says:

    Hu,

    Yes, we should be careful with whom we share with our personal information. Jesus is the Best person who we can pour out our burden. We can ask God to show a right divine friends so that we can share share our burden with them. Provided if he/she walk in the ways of the Lord.

  • Susan says:

    Suzanne,Frances ,Carol,Suzanne ..glad you all like the video. May God bless you all.

  • Susan says:

    How are you Carol, Frances, Lorraine…

Leave a Reply