I Just Called To Say “I Love You” Video provided by: Centre Street Creative Films

Don and Jen’s love story started at a pool in Vancouver. After their first date he called her everyday, right around lunch time, just to see how she was. When he proposed she said yes right away. Not long after their first child was born, things got a bit more complicated. Don grew angry and Jen withdrew. They separated and two years later their divorce was finalized.  But after another two years apart a single phone call changed everything.

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16 Responses to “I Just Called To Say “I Love You””

  • Aldo says:

    Saloni, would you be willing to talk to a mentor who will discuss your issue with you on a one on one basis. If so, please click on the Talk to a mentor button at the top left of this page. She will be happy to discuss your issue with you, and try to help you as much as possible.

  • Saloni says:

    Hi Jen. I’m Saloni, 26 years and 10 months, and I’m from India. I’m married to my husband for the last 2 years and 10 months. I’m in love with him and always been so. This marriage was forced, his parents forced him into this. He was in a depressed and denial state for about year. During this time he said many hateful things that it still pains me today. Even after he has come around the idea of marriage and loving me, I don’t feel close to him. There’s next to zero physical relationship between him and me. I don’t feel close to him emotionally too. I can’t speak my mind out. It’s suffocating. I’m attracted to this guy who is 12 years elder to me and a divorcee. He loves me and wants to marry me. I like him too. I can’t divorce my husband as I’m in love with him and dont want to hurt him, but I sure do crave for attention, emotional attachment, warmth and love that the other guy is showering upon me. I don’t want to upset and embarrass my parents in society. It’s like I’m being torn apart by two unseen forces. It’s too painful, confusing, frustrating and unsettling for me to live this dual life. I really hope that you’ll be able to help me with my dilemma.

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    So Amy, you and your husband were separated? Did he leave or did you leave? Who has custody of the kids right now? Have you looked at ways that the two of you might heal your marriage so that you don’t need a divorce and the two of you could provide a healthy happy home for your children?

  • amy says:

    My layer sent a letter to my husband saying i would pay for a divorce to get him to give me my childrens and my belo gings back not because i wanted one

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Motherof3, you seem to be sending some confusing messages. On one hand you have filed for divorce but at the same time say that you don’t want a divorce. Why did you file for divorce if you love your husband and want your marriage to heal?

  • motherof3 says:

    My mairrage is struggling. I left nov19 2012 my husband recieved a letter fr my lawyer stating i would be filli g for divorce. I DONT WA T A DIVORCE. My husband scince started an affair. He is scared because iv left a number of timed b4. Please pray for my mairrave to heal a d work i love my husba d dearly and dont want to loose him. He is commi g next weekend so we can talk thi gs out and see where we go from here.

  • jenny jen says:

    thanks alot for your advise.. i was already deciding to leave to go back to my country till i figure out what i wanna do..my hearts gonna break every time i will see my husband being father with another women..its just that this all was sopose to be with me..im hurting so much daily.. he cannot tell his family because there will be alot of fights especially with mine.they will make m breakup and take me back..but i also think i should leave because all this is too hard for me..im just 25..this was not the life i wanted with the man i love!i have alot of missed feelings but i will for sure take your advise..reading your message made me cry..felt like someone finally gets me..and wants to help..what i want is my husband and the way he loved me back..he still loves me but usually is sad and upset because i know obviously he misses his daughter..im so insecure about his ex gf..he says he doesnt talk to her and doesnt like her at all,his only in this because of baby..that he has not called them and send them extra money apart from child support in months. problem is im not telling him to stop calling them or sending them money,i just wanna be informed that its happening. i feel like things are happening behind my back.his telling me his not lying anymore and we have fights about that..its just i cant trust him…its hard..i dont know when his telling me the truth or when his lying..how can he get back my trust? any suggestions..with baby and his ex gf and all. how do i accept his baby in our life without being angry with what hapend to me and that life his having with that other women was soppose to be with me..i wanna trust him but he doesnt know how to get that trust back..i find myself checking his phone and emails secrestly. his getting tired of me accusing him all the time..he says his not doing anything anymore..he asked me to marry him 5 years ago because he was in love with me..i said no..after these years he has me..he told me he dint wana lose me thats y he hid it..he knows what his done was wrong and selfish but he doesnt know how to fix it..getting my trust back is what he wants but he doesnt know how to..any suggestions.

    thanks alot… after so many months i felt good..was the first time i took a breath nd didnt feel like i was gonna die! thanks alot

  • Claire Colvin Claire Colvin says:

    Hi Jenny Jen, I am so sorry to hear about the pain in your marriage. I can only imagine how hurt and confused you must be. You entered into marriage with a promise to be loyal to each other and to keep yourselves only for each other. Your husband has broken his word. I DO think that it’s possible for your marriage to be restored, but it’s going to take work from both of you. This is not something that you “just need to get over” it’s something that the pair of you need to work through together. You said that you don’t know how not to be insecure – the answer to that is that over time your husband needs to earn back your trust. He’s going to need to take steps to prove to you that is trustworthy. Here are a few things I would suggest:

    1. He needs to break off all romantic contact with his girlfriend. The child is part of his life forever and to have contact with her he’s going to have to have some contact with her mother but if he wants to be married to you there can’t be anything happening on the side. He has to break that off.

    2. He has to tell his family about his daughter. If he is asking you to welcome her into your family then he has to welcome her into the entire family. Yes this may be painful for him before it gets better, but it’s painful for you right now (I do believe that it can get better.) Betrayal happens when we convince ourselves that it’s okay to lie to the people we love. That has to stop. He cannot ask you to lie to his family on his behalf. One of the way that you’ll be able to rebuild trust is when you know for sure that everything is out in the open so he has to tell them about his daughter.

    3. You need to decide whether or not you can handle having his daughter in your life. It’s a big, big thing and it’s not what you wanted but he has a child and that child is not going away. It’s also not her fault that she was born into this situation. Are you able to family to this child?

    4. You need to take time to mourn the marriage you thought you were going to have. This does NOT mean that your marriage is over, but the old version of it where he was always faithful and there was no baby, that is gone and it’s gone forever. Take the time to let yourself be sad. Take the time to grieve what has been lost. You need to face that pain before you can move forward and rebuild a new marriage with this man.

    5. You’ve talked a lot about what he wants. What do you want? Don’t be afraid to set some rules in place. When there’s trust you don’t need many rules but when it’s gone rules can be a way to help you feel safe. I read about one woman whose husband had an affair. They had a rule for more than a year that she was allowed to call him any time of the day or night and ask him where he was. Under normal circumstances that would be intrusive, but he had broken her trust and the phone calls were what she needed to feel safe and secure. They created an environment where she could start trusting him again.

    6. Get some marriage counselling. Both you and your husband are dealing with a lot of very powerful emotions right now and getting some counselling whether that’s from a pastor or clinical counsellor will really help as you sort things out and put the pieces back together.

    I don’t know if you have a faith background, but I would also recommend prayer. In the Bible over and over again God talks about reconciliation and how he can take the broken pieces of our lives and meld them back together. Things that seem hopeless are not hopeless with God. You can read more about God here. If you’re both willing to work on it your marriage can survive this but you have to be honest with each other, you have to work and he has to end this other relationship completely.

  • jenny jen says:

    my husband nd i know eachother for 6 years now.we were realy good friends. w started dating like year 4 months ago. 7 months of dating we got married and i left my country and moved to live with him to another country..he was amazing with me till 3 weeks into staying together.he started to change..more angry and was not treating me well. would say harsh things nd always leave me crying.lots of fights but had good days til i found a message on his phone for his birthday. it said wish was with you babe and all for birthday. he told me it was his guy friend fooling round.i ended up snooping into his facebook mesages to find this old mesage from his x gf.well mesges were from before we started dating.i found her dads nd uncles nd moms number on his fone too.he deleted it saying its a old fone which it was..but for that text he told me it was a guy friend. i went back to my ocuntry for 3 weeks for younger sisters wedding.he was sopose to come there on my last week then back together to our home.while i was there i was trying to call him and he told me he was at work. thursday friday saturday he kept teling me he forgot his charger at his brothers place in another city when he went to drop me off tot he airport. i knew something was wrong so i checked online account since we have joint account to find out he was in another city.i thought he was cheating on me only or him to finally tell me he has a 1 year old daughter with his xgf. and he was there to celebrate her 1st birthday.i was broken but i love him and i wanted to spent my life with him. then we came back and been trying to work it out but fights was always the answer.it became physical twice but not too serious. i have insomnia too now.we both love each other but i have hard time forgiving him. just last week his xgf put up a old picture of my husband saying ‘my hubbs’. i was very upset. told my husband and we had a huge argument and i decided to leave him.because i had enough. then he started really crying and telling me he would choose me over his daughter over me any day.but he wants me in his life..that he cant live without me..but i dont trust him at all.i want to but i just cant.i told him i wanted to take a break to think and he told me he will change things so i dont have to come back to all this pain.i finding myself looking in the mirror and just crying and crying thinking what all has happend to me.i just wana stop feeling so insecure.i dont want to leave him but i know im strong enough to do so.but i love him sooo very much..wish things were different but its all wrecked.i want to change that.i wana move on and start fresh with him because thats what he wants.but we dont know how to. i dont know how not to b insecure and how to accept his daughter with another women in my life. he doesnt wana tell him family ever about her.i wana live nd breathe normal again.to get myself back up and do the right thing. please any advise! thanks

  • Barbara Alpert Barbara Alpert says:

    Dear Erica,

    Dear Erica, I know that the situation you currently are facing is not easy but I want to congratulate you for taking the proper steps in reaching out for help. Does he attend the counseling sessions with you? It is wise for both individuals get involved in correcting the issues in their marriage. As far as HOPE…don’t give up your hope in God restoring your marriage as you take the proper steps needed to mend such relationship! God Is so merciful and gracious to restore that which is broken. He is the one that created and formed the bonds between husband and wife and does not want ‘issues’ to tear such apart.

    Father God, I pray that You will continue to work in Erica and her husbands relationship. May You heal their broken hearts and mend them back together as husband and wife. I pray that the enemy who seeks to kill, steal and destroy that which is good and of God to be undone in their hearts, lives and marriage. I ask that You place a hedge of protection around Erica’s heart and emotions as she deals with this situation. Comfort and aid her through no matter what takes place and how things end. In Jesus’ I pray, Amen

  • Erica says:

    I pray everyday that what happened to them will happen to me and my marriage will be restored.Right now I an going through a christian based divorce recovery program but I am not giving up. He has told me he still loves and misses me so maybe there is still hope.

  • Claire Colvin Claire Colvin says:

    Jeanette, I can assure you that for anyone who has lost a marriage they fought for, divorce is indeed very, very real.

  • jwright says:

    This is a beautiful story and God is good. I am so proud of you guys. But for all the other people who were recently divorced, as God himself said in Matthew 5:24, Divorces arent exactly “real”. It says that when people get divorced, they commit adultery with the next person that they are with and causes that person to commit adultery. Thats what the bible says.

  • Doris Beck Doris says:

    I agree Tony, that this is truly a powerful story of God’s redeeming grace in relationships when people are willing to forgive. I too wish we would see more divorce cases end up this way.

  • tony heard says:

    This is such a touching and inspiring case of forgiviness and love that was never lost. I would love for all divorce cases to end up in this manner. Including my pending divorce. But, the results are beyond my control. And, I place my faith in God and his son. And, I pray for healing for all other members experiencing the pain of divorce.

  • Esther Esther says:

    Life is a journey. I have not managed to watch the video but I can identify with this topic. Marriage has its own ups and downs. Marriage too has its own phases and challenges. In marriage life just life for Don and Jen, are different seasons and flavours. It all depends on the two individuals to make a decision on what they want for their marriage. They need to appreciate each other’s weaknesses and strengths.

    It is all about being real, honest, sincere and open, but above all, forgiving any wrong doings in love. When we look back, we all realize that we are not perfect. Putting aside our pride, ego, arrogance and self-esteem, we can humble ourselves in the presence of our loved once. It costs us nothing to say ‘I am sorry’ – when we sincerely mean it. No matter how angry or hurt the other party may be, it pays dearly to make that call just to say ‘I love you’. This can change a lot of things in a marriage set up including the healing of wounds, hurts, scars and grudges. This shows love, care, concern and appreciation.

    If God Himself showed His love for us while we were still sinners, He is still able to enable us to show love to our loved once. Putting all issues aside, call that one that you hurt very much or the one who hurt you very much just to tell them ‘I live you’ and see how this is bound to change things for ever – when you sincerely mean it! Remember, God is LOVE!!!

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