Keeping the Fun in Love Video provided by: TruthMedia Films

G. K. Chesterton once quipped that “Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.” Many people approach their relationships in an antagonistic way, and see marriage as an inevitable burden. That attitude is understandable given that so many marriages today are either unhappy or end painfully in divorce.

However, as Jarret and Jessie have discovered, it doesn’t have to be that way. They’ve discovered, perhaps earlier than most, that like most other things in life that are truly worthwhile, a successful and fulfilling marriage requires commitment and work to maintain it.

Are you trying to “keep the fun in love”? Do you think it’s possible to maintain the kind of attitude that Jarret and Jessie have throughout a marriage? Why or why not?

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4 Responses to “Keeping the Fun in Love”

  • Jamie Lauren says:

    Jill you don’t need to feel stupid. In a marriage there is supposed to be trust and it is not stupid that you trusted him. He is the one who has the issues and is destroying that trust. I would agree with Claire that talking to a marriage counsellor would be helpful, even if just you go. Having someone to talk to and give you suggestions of how you can respond will be a useful thing for you. If your husband does go with you it will be helpful to have someone mediate your communication with each other and guide that conversation to get to the heart of the issues.

    It is difficult situations like this where a person comes to the realization, “I don’t know what to do or think…” that a personal, intimate relationship with God really makes a difference. He is aware not only of what each of you says and does but He is also aware of the thoughts in your minds and the attitudes of your hearts. He knows the best course for you to take and He is generous in the way that He leads you on that path. God promises, “I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” (Isaiah 42:16) If you are willing to surrender to God’s leading Jill, He will guide you down a path that is perfect for you. It won’t be the easiest path but it will be the best path.

    To find out more about how to know God and follow Him, go have a look at this site If you would like to talk to one of our mentors about this go to the mentor request form at

  • Jill says:

    Thanks for writing Claire. I appreciate it. Well, things have gotten worse. I feel stupid. We made an appt for counseling and husband decided he didn’t want to go now. Also, I saw him doing something on his phone but sorta of covering it so I asked him what he was doing and he said ‘nothing’ and wouldn’t let me see his phone. He ran into the bathroom and locked the door. Now, today, we had a good day- went out to a local bar for eats n drinks, went sight seeing a bit and came home. He is acting all weird. I ask him what’s wrong and all he says is ‘i’m sorry’ and then he tells me “can i just have 15 minutes alone- i need to do something’…..I asked him what he needed to do and he won’t tell me. I don’t know what to do or think………….

  • Claire Colvin Claire Colvin says:

    Hi Jill, It must have been such a shock to hear him say that. I cannot tell you whether or not he really meant it, only your husband knows that. I think that you have already decided to do the thing that will help the most – get counselling. It could be that this is a phase, a mid-life crisis or a symptom of something else. It could be that he is having some pretty serious doubts. A good counsellor should be able to help you walk through that. You asked about passion, I DO think that it’s possible to get that back. If you are both committed to staying together, you can work at this. Are you really busy? Are you under a lot of stress? (You mentioned both a move and a significant change in employment so I would imagine that yes, you are). Do you feel like you are stuck in a routine? When was the last time one of you surprised the other, in a good way? It could be that a few changes will help you both to feel more passionate again. I really think that seeing a counsellor is an excellent plan. If you would like to talk to one of our mentors privately, just use this form to request a mentor.

  • Jill says:

    Hi everyone.
    I have been married to my wonderful husband for 16 years. We have been happy, in love and rarely rarely fight. We have no human kids but do have dogs. It seemed like we had the ‘perfect’ marriage. Our friends all tell us they look up to us as an example of how love should be, etc. Early this year, my husband was laid off work and we moved to a new city shortly after for new opportunity in the job market but no luck yet. Also, he is overcoming a marijuana addiction so those side effects/ withdrawals may play a part in his emotions- I do not know. Yesterday, my husband tells me ” I don’t think I’ve ever loved you.” I was shocked and still am. I really thought everything between he and I was really great and as perfect as perfect can be. We have a regular sex life and have a lot of fun together. We communicate to each other all the time too so this is really so crazy to me. So, we discussed why he might be feeling that way and he says because he isn’t passionate about ‘us’ or me. So, we have a Companionate love. We have intimacy and commitment but no passion. It is strange because I always felt we had passion but he says he thinks we never have. He also admitted to me yesterday that he thinks about girls from his past and that when he was working he thought about girls he worked with. We talked and both agreed we both want to go to counseling to try to figure this all out. I am hoping we can get our first appointment in a few days. Does anyone have any advice/ opinions for me? I love my husband with all of my being and I feel like he truly loves me too. Do you think this is just a hard time or maybe a mid-life crisis that we can get thru? What about the passion thing? Is that something we can get into our relationship? Help! Thanks.

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