Breakups: Not Always This Easy Video provided by: Biola University

Even when you’re the one doing the “breaking” it’s rarely easy. This is implied by the violent analogy we’ve chosen for ending a relationship: “breaking” up. And when you’re the one on the receiving end of those dreaded words, it can be quite hurtful. What have you found to be the best way to end a relationship while minimizing the hurt involved? Is there any such way? Have you been the victim of a bad breakup, and how has it affected your current relationships?

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44 Responses to “Breakups: Not Always This Easy”

  • Gill says:

    I always loved breaking up with boyfriends. Having a relationship always feels claustrophobic and solitude is so wonderful. I’ll take freedom and creativity over sex and human love any day. Freedom and creativity are where the sense of meaning in life is for me. Close relationships seem to have a detrimental effect on that, squeezing them out of existence by the close proximity of another human body. I need plenty of time alone with my true loves: hobbies, interests, animals, the flow of creative deep thinking and writing, the silence and space of the world around me. That is beautiful. Breaking up is like breaking wind – the gas has to come out sometime.

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Anny, thanks for participating in the conversation here, but this site is not set up to be a matchmaking service. This is a place for people to share their joys and struggles, to ask their questions, to find new perspectives, and join in a conversation with others who have gone through similar situations. In order to provide a safe place for people to do that this forum does publish personal contact information. If you would like to find someone try one of the many online dating services that have the proper safeguards in place.

    So have you gone through a difficult break up?

  • Anny says:

    Am 28yrs old man,i work hard and my work takes my time, so i need a lady who knows what she want in life to work things out with her.she must be a serious type in life.who want to a good relationship to lifetime,i don”t want your money.call [it is our policy not to publish personal contact information] me.

  • Elkay says:

    Dhiren, I am not certain what is exactly meant by “REIKI Healing Energy” but I do know that we are spiritual beings existing a bodily form. Genesis 2:7 tells us that “The Lord God breathed into man’s nostrils the breath of life and man became a living soul”. Our soul is our “deep life center” and integrates, connects and binds together our body, mind and will into our single unique person. God designed us so that our choices (our will), our thoughts and our desires (our mind), and our behavior (our body) would be in perfect harmony, connected and integrated with each other and would be powered by an unbroken connection with Him, in perfect harmony with Him and with all of His creation.

    The connection with God is through the Holy Spirit indwelling us (John 14:17) and I can pray that “the God of hope will fill you with all joy and peace by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Rom 15:13). In other words, we were made by God and for God and it is only in Him that we can find the power, joy and peace to go through stressful problems. It is His “peace which exceeds anything we can understand and it is His peace that will guard our hearts and minds as we live in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 4:7).

  • Dhiren says:

    REIKI Healing may give you strength to overcome the problem and to get path to resolve it.

  • Dhiren says:

    I can send REIKI Healing Energy to help the sad ones strength enough to bear the agony and also to have confidence to overcome the problem – [it is our policy not to publish personal contact information]

  • katlen says:

    Hi there,
    I’ve been married for 28 yrs, 6 children. I got married at the young age of 17 yrs old. Hmm our marriage was sorta arranged, we were engaged for a year. My family supposedly knew his family. Not related though. my parents never really took to me church on a weekly basis, but what they did was sent me to a catholic school. At the age of 10 I remember going mass in school, and it was during lent. We Wnot through the the stations of the cross. Something happened on the 6 th sation when Veronica wiped the face of Jesus. I would start crying, for no reason. Cause no one else did. When I saw his face with blood, the pain he suffered. I felt like I was there with him. Low and behold. I now know what Gods plan for me was. After I married my husband he changed, not for the good,but for evil. He repeatedly physically, emotionally, and mentally played mind games with me. And it seemed like it was happing every day with him. And ever time it happen I turned to Jesus’face. And it gave me hope, love, joy. While we would be out, he would hit and lust on women. I he would tell me what he did with other women. I would tell him” why are you telling me this? He wouldn’t answer. He just hurt me over and over again. 12 yrs later I started working. I at my weakest point, fell. Meeting new people, I fell in love with another man. I wanted to leave my husband. I just wanted to feel loved. Well as for me I would of. But Gods love intervened for me. Jesus told me NO. Go back. It was a battle inside my heart, he told me” do it for me” I fell,to my knees. And I asked God to forgive me. I went to confession. I had 4 more children with my husband, trusting Jesus is with me. 3 yrs later my husband had a conversion. Actually I was pregnant with my 4 th child at the time. I was so happy that Jesus touched him. Hmm it seemed really nice for a while, 9 yrs ago after the death of my father. He changed. While all the time after his conversion he was going to bible study, pray group. I did go with him to bible study or pray group, but sometimes it was hard having repeated c sections. But did support him. I I started noticing something did fervent with him. Instead of showing Love and Mercy, started judging, condemning me. And telling me ” do you know what’s wrong with you. And quickly pointing out my sins. I would walk away. Telling me my family was bad. And how he could marry me. That his family was great. 2 times separate occasions. One night he came back from pray group. I had just fallen asleep. He came in the room, and in bed, not knowing where my feet were, he pushed my legs so hard it made a bruise. It felt I was being attached by the devil. I didn’t say a word. I allowed more things. For the sake of peace. It seemed like the devil was using him to destroy our marriage. Division, after division. He said things that contradicted the bible. That God needs to Kill gays. The topic was God loves everyone. He said no. They need to be wiped off the face of this earth. On the birth of my 6 th child we had a baptismal party for family. While everyone watch him and my sister in law kiss on the lips and act inapproate with her. Then when he saw me he yelled at me for no reason. I believe that he is doing the devils work, or his a sociopath. And plz know I’m not judging, I want to help him. How can one Praise and say God I love you then next turn around and do evil works. Another thing is, he never accepted my unconditional love for him even after I didn’t say anything to him, he felt I didn’t care. At the time he was a very explosive man. I said how was I able to tell you something that was true, and you wouldn’t of expected and would of ruined the marriage. I didn’t want that. That’s how I gave you unconditional love. God says Love till it hurts. I did. Another thing was that he thinks sex is love. I told him no. It’s a part. But I believe Love is,patient , love is kind love doesn’t boast. He didn’t believe I that. Just recently he said God wouldn’t exist without us. Please pray for our family.the devil is in overtime. At times I questioned my sanity. But I ask Jesus please help me, help my husband. Please Jesus give him a new mind and new heart. His upbringing wasn’t healthy. Oh my eldest son, now helps his dad, cause while this was going in. My son was gettin get healing and get his teaching from sacred heart semenary. And started helping his dad, in a loving way. At times my husband won’t change his mind. My son says” mom we have to pray for dad” and it’s his ideas we have to change hopefull with love and mercy. Lynda if my son had to go through what I went through for the sake of Christ. I would tell him to do so. I could choose to do that but I believe God called me for his plan. To have 6 children by repeated c- section. I haven’t told my story, but I believe everyone would say you are crazy! For staying but Jesus said” when youmdomformthe least you do for me. I could of thought for my self, that’s easy. But when we have to think of others with love. Only with Jesus we can succeed. The comment above me from 2011
    . Poor behavior isn’t a excuse for leaving. As for my husband he was like that from the start. I had just cause to leave him.

  • Chris says:

    paul…sorry to hear of your situation…yes women can be very resentful but we men can also be very unkind and hurtful in the words we speak. yes, you were probably being honest when you told her you felt nothing for her but put yourself in her shoes as a recently married bride. those words would devastate any woman. something about her caused you to marry her however. you have children by her which means you have had intimacy and the ability to be sexually aroused by her. what can happen is that when women say things that hurt our male egos, that we let our negative emotions take over and close the door to our wives until we can swallow our pride and apologize for words unwisely spoken. just think what a simple apology may have accomplished 19 years ago. wars are started or can be avoided by words, the wrong ones or the right ones. 1 peter 3 in the bible encourages the husbands to live with their wives in knowledge of their make-up and ways of thinking. we are to love them as jesus loves his church, both sacrifically and unconditionally. the husband who doesnt have a relationship with jesus, will be lacking in his ability to show his wife true love and break free from his emotions that try to bind him. for more information on knowing jesus as your lord and savior and being able to live above negative emotions and feelings, log onto knowjesuspersonally.com or click talk to a mentor above. you can also take the 5lovelanguages.com test to evaluate what kind of love you truly have for your wife. i pray jesus helps you, your wife and your marrage today. blessings your way!

  • Paul says:

    Hi

    I have been married for 20 years and have not had sex for over 19 years of these. The reason for this is I feel no attraction for my wife as she is domineering and controlling. She is very good at guilt tripping. Because of hurt would cause her cold not leave even tho we have no affection in our marriage – we do not even kiss. Alternatively I am very affection towards my two young children. Since I told my wife I was not physically attracted to her 19 years ago it has not been mentioned since

  • Chris says:

    Sandra…i am sorry to hear about your situation. its obvious that your husband is over-reacting to what happened. you did nothing wrong. when people are not close to christ, they are apt to act and react in ways that are not right nor just. i would encourage your first of all to be sure jesus is your personal lord and savior and protecter so that regardless of what your husband does or doesnt do, you can have peace in any storm. we cant get inside of peoples heads and make them think properly but in my mind your husband is the one who is taking an innocent event and making a tragedy out of it which only speaks for him being an empty spiritual soul who seeks refuge in drinking. you can log onto knowingjesuspersonally.com or click talk to a mentor above to find out more about anchoring your life in christ since people and mates may fail us but jesus never will. i pray you find your peace and confort in your relationship with jesus even when your relationship with your husband may not be the best in jesus name amen!

  • Chris says:

    end Gods promise to you for having a mate in this life. the most important thing is you came through your anxiety and now you are ready for jesus to bless you in your next relationship in his time, with the person he has chosen for you. at the same time, your former boyfriend could come around again as you wait upon the lord, he will show you about these things. John 16. be open also to visit other churches, to meet more brothers in christ and to let the holy spirit guide you in your Christian walk. we know jesus has a myriad of ways of blessing us. we should guard against thinking that our spouses must come from our regular church. i pray you would experience romans 8.28 today in your life and to know that its jesus who holds you and your future in his hands. blessings!!

  • Chris says:

    sofia….i am sorry to hear you are struggling. yes, relationships can be very challenging and as we know half of marriages end in divorce so dont condemn yourself for not being able to see this relationship through to marriage however that doesnt e

  • Susan says:

    HI kayla,

    So so to hear your situation. kayla, according to the Bible marriage is holy and God hates divorce. It is time for you to go on your knees and cry to God for changing your husband. For our God, everything is possible. If he is physically harming then you be careful but don’t think of divorce now. Why not talk to your church Pastor about this?

    Let’s pray:

    Dear Father,

    Lord, I commit Your child, kayla, in Your hand. Lord, guide Your child and protect her. Lord, I pray for her husband. Lord, you can change him from all his bad habits. Lord, I ask for Your mercy. Protect this marriage. Lord, glorify Your name through this. Thank You for hearing our prayers. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  • Elkay says:

    Sofia, as you live longer, you will find that God has “interesting ways” to bring us closer to Him. His plan is that we become more and more like Christ and thus into a deeper relationship with Him. Stepping back, you might see that this man came into your life only to disappoint you and to bring you to a point where you ” re-invited Jesus, surrendered it all and have done a full 180 change”. Can you see how that is so much better than being married to what appears to be the “wrong person”? Praise God! Spiritual advice is to focus on strengthening that renewed relationship wit God. “Obey God and let Him take care of the consequences” is the way a well-known Pastor puts it.

    Going further and practically speaking, in marriage, and in dating, there is false (or fake) and true (or authentic) love. In false love, the aim is to use the other person to fulfill your happiness and you are “in love” only as long as the other person is affirming you and meeting your needs. In true love, your aim is to sacrifice yourself for the happiness of the other person, because your greatest joy is that person’s joy. These are the criteria to evaluate your relationship with prior and future dating-partners. Is bringing joy to you on a permanent basis his greatest need? Is bringing joy to him on a permanent basis your greatest need? If the answer to either question is “not really” then getting marriage is not going to change that and will probably make it worse. Many a person can tell you that it is far better to be “unhappily single” than to be “unhappily married”!

    So stay in church and obey God as He has promised to “be with you always” and has good plans for your future. And trust in Susan’s prayer for you!

  • Susan says:

    Hi Sandra,

    So sorry to hear this. Devil somehow want to destroy us…That is why Jesus says always, be alert, meditate His word day and night etc..et.

    Sandra, first and foremost thing is for you to do is to ask God to forgive you. Read 1 John 1:9. First you clear with God and rededicate your life to Jesus again. Now, discontinue all unwanted contact, conversations etc..keep praying and ask God for His guidance.

    Let’s pray:

    Dear Father God,

    We come before You. Lord, You are so gracious and full of mercy. Who are we…Lord, forgive us O’Lord forgive us. Lord, help us to humble before You and walk and live the way You expect. Lord, we need Your constant help and help us to focus on You at all times. Lord, I commit Sandra and her marriage in Your hand. Lord, I pray that You restore her marriage. Lord, I pray for her husband,change him, help him to trust her again, Lord, draw him closer to You. Lord, I pray that You protect his marriage. Thank You for hearing our prayers. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  • Susan says:

    Hi Tahani,

    I did not understand your comment?

    You are married and your husband want to separate from you? Is he not giving you money? Just explain to me.

    Let’s pray:

    Father,

    I commit this precious child Tahani, in Your hand. Lord, I pray that You restore this marriage, Lord, please protect this marriage. Lord, change Tahani’s husband and let him start love her. I pray this in Jesus’ name, Amen.

  • Susan says:

    Hi Irene,

    You are right,it is not easy but I praise God for your life. How are you now and your spiritual journey?

  • Susan says:

    Hi Hannah,

    I agree with you. Once we are married, then we must be faithful to each other.

  • Susan says:

    Hi Sofia,

    I am so happy about one thing, at last you have re invited Christ in your life and made a decision to transform your life. I am sure, heaven must be rejoicing at your decision. Regarding, your ‘cannot forget the past’ is natural. I remember, once (before my marriage), I was liking this guy, he was a strong christian, walking and living the way God expects. I was liking this guy and I started praying for him. I was praying,praying and in the impression that this the guy for me. One day, God showed me that he had already a girlfriend and later they got married. I had a tough time in the begining because I used to see this person every Sunday. I started praying and praying. Slowly, God help me to divert my attention from him to God. Hallelujah! I started listening to tapes, spirit filled songs, sermons after sermons. I decided, No,my incident cannot rule my life and then later I was fine. In fact, he got married and went to some other church. God worked in my life but when? When I started his help and exercising myself. I am telling to Sofia, keep this matter into God’s hand. If this guy is for you, then God will bring him otherwise ask God to strengthen you. And our God knows we do have weakness and He is ready to help us.

    Let’s pray:

    Dear Heavenly Father, We thank You for this beautiful time. Lord, I commit Your very precious child Sofia in Your hand. Lord, she is rededicated her life to You and she is willing to follow You. Lord, You strengthen her so that she can be bold. Even if she has to see him every Sunday, Lord, that seeing should not affect her life. Lord, You guide her and protect her. Lord, I pray for Your will be done in this. Thank You for hearing our prayers. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

    Sofia, whatever God does in our life is for our good only. He knows our future and according to that He works in our lives. Let me know if you have any concern/s.

  • Sofia says:

    Looking for some spiritual counsel or maybe just prayers. Its been more than 3 months since a horrible fight that caused things to end with my relationship. Wwe met at church about 4 years ago and about 3 years ago decided to date and take it seriously by trying to honour the Lord and going to pur pastor. Everyone gave us their blessing and i believed that God was telling me he was the one. We tried to stay pure and sure We weren’t perfect but we repented and turned away… but as I found out he was flirting with other girls online a year ago (among other issues like troubles I was having at home) I went through a very bad personal storm of insecurity fears anxiety and worst of all serious anger, rage. It first took a long time to realize i had a serious problem but he seemed to continue faithful and loving and supportive as always, a huge reason why I loved him , for always having faith…. but mine cracked hard when I got lost in a mess of anti anxiety anti depressants and mild tranquilizers. I was already a mess before but this threw me (and him) over the edge. I would hear him talk aboit marriage and about how we were better than ever and he never felt closer and that he believed the pills were working. First off doctor warned us both it would take minimum 6 months to see results. He didn’t even let those 6 months finish when he lost it and walked away from out of the blue. Because when things got bad they got real bad, in an “episode” I was verbally abusive yelled and lashed out nasty words. Words I never meant but I didnt know how to control. I forgot to let Jesus be my source of comfort and healing and believed the lie from the enemy that pills were working for me but my fits were only getting worse. This kills me so much because even through those last few rollercoaster weeks of amazing highs and nasty lows, he talked a lot about marriage and how it would be soon and he couldn’t wait. How he couldn’t stand by me and throw it all away . I needed help and im glad ive used these almost 4 months productively, I reinvited Jesus, surrendered it all and have done a full 180 change. No more pills or self hurt or suicidal thiughts no more rage attacks, just peace.. except for the empty whole I have in my heart from missing my best friend. Im trying to trust in God with my future but It tortures me that I was thinking of wedding dresses realizing we had one year before his mother noved into the new house and his plan was not to move in with her but for us to be married.he would talk about his best man and seeing me in my dress. It tortures me to think that he was not the man of God to be able to tell all those lies, were they lies, will he ever forgive me why didnt he love me why cant I heal and move on why do I still love him. Worse part is my church is small and I see him every Sunday. He will say hi if necessary but keep away and the look in his eyes for me is all gone. Just like that. God help me.

  • Doris Beck Doris Beck says:

    Sandra,
    In our marriages, trust is a huge factor and once that has been broken, it has to be rebuilt. Having said that, it seems as if your husband doesn’t know how to deal with that broken trust. Have you asked him to go talk to a counselor or pastor together to help you rebuild your trust with one another? I single lie is definitely not grounds for divorce and it sounds like perhaps there are other issues that he hasn’t been truthful about and this was the last straw.

    I don’t know if you have a personal faith that you practice Sandra, but I do believe that prayer can make a difference and so I would like to pray for you and your marriage right now.

    Heavenly Father
    I lift up Sandra and her family to you right now. Because of her lie, her husband’s trust has been broken and he doesn’t know how to deal with this. Lord, would you open the communication channels so that they can talk about what happened and get some help in communicating and learning how to build up that trust again? I know that you are the God of miracles and You have healed many a broken relationship in the past and You can do it again. Encourage Sandra today and show her which way to turn. Amen

    Sandra, we do have a team of online mentors that would love to walk this journey with you ….just fill out the form at the top right of this page, talk to a mentor, and someone will be in touch with you by email!

  • I read your whole message,I will pray and let’s keep our all burdens on Jesus.

  • I read your whole story and was sorry to say this that once we are married we must be sincere with eachother as this is the coomand bu Jesus.Please dont get upset and pray for your husband.I will also pray for you.I trust my Lord Jesus He will hear our prayers.

  • SAndra says:

    I recently hurt my husband known and dated for 18 years, married for 5 and have a one year old. we have never had trust issues since we married, and i recently did a stupid act. my x contacted me on facebook. and he hasbeen for a while, i hve never replied.. for 2 years, i happen to reply 2 weeks ago.. and said hi,., my husband saw the text and i lied to his face when he asked me if i replied i told him no. to his face. i could lie to him so i went and told him the truth 5 min later that i did reply and i was sorry, i was stupid to do that and i apologized for lieing to him. 2 weeks have gone and he asked me for a diveorce, i told him i love him please not to let this stupid action of mine end our marriage, i love him never cheated never planed on cheating to please give me a chance i will do anyhthing to save my marriage, and he is so angry, he wont even let me talk to him, he has bewen coming home late like 12 and 2 am i htink he has been out having some beers with his friends. and said he cannot be with someone he doesnt trust and eblieve. i love my husband i nver cheated and never planned on i dont know how to stop him from divorcing me.. please help me with any adviee, i know he is angry, and put my self in his shoes but he is always a man of what he says, he wants a divorce and is filling next week.

  • Shelley says:

    Dear Father God

    Lord I lift up Tahani and Irene to You at this time to give them comfort in there decision and that they will be happy and rely on You for encouragement.
    In Jesus Mighty Name Amen

  • irene says:

    glad to see these from people’breking z not rel easy and dnt comment if u hav nt experienc coz tc hurting lyk burning fire. tc happened once to me bt im happy nw i gat new love datind for a year n started as friends for 2 yrs

  • tahani says:

    i get marriages with him last july 23 2011 and then after 1 year he told me we will separate but my husband separate me only house but untel now his vesit me in my house if he want something for me but he never give me my expenses because he told me i have job…..umtel now i never take any coins with him but still have communication and sex my be 3 or 5 per month…i want to know what I’m doing with him…i love him and i don’t want to lost him…what i do?

  • Shelley says:

    I broke up with my marriage becasue he was sick menatlly and we were only married for one year, as it was making me sick too.

  • Andrew says:

    I like the way he breaks up with her. It is direct, honest, and although he does what he can to avoid hurting her, he also doesn’t mince words. She IS controlling and wouldn’t benefit from him making some kind of excuse about his real reasons for leaving her. She will hopefully be less controlling in her next relationship now that she knows what ruined this one.

    I have a post on my blog about how a girl should break up with a guy: http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/09/how-to-reject-guy.html

  • Claire Colvin Claire Colvin says:

    Hi Kayla, Whenever possible I always encourage people to try and honour the vows they made, but if your husband has physically harmed you then your personal safety needs to take precedence. So, first things first. Are you in a safe place? Will that place still be safe when your husband comes out of rehab? If you need assistance in finding a safe place you can contact the National Domestic Abuse Hotline online or by phone 1 800 799 SAFE.

    Once you are in a physically safe place then you can start thinking about what you want to do. I would strongly urge you to see a counsellor first rather than going straight to a divorce attorney. I do not know you and I do not know what your husband will do in rehab and what may or may not be possible for your future together, but I do know that either way you’re going to need some counselling. If you can, start seeing the counsellor now.

    One of the questions you’re going to need to find an answer for is this: why did you agree to go ahead with a marriage to someone who had just come out of rehab? Whatever the answer is it does NOT mean that you “deserve” to stay in this relationship and I am not intending to shame you, but it’s an important question. What was it that convinced you to go ahead with it? It’s important because it’s likely that your husband will use this same tactic or promise or fear to try and keep you in the relationship. It’s also important because if you don’t figure out what happened this time, you’re at risk for it to happen again in the future.

    I hate to think of a marriage that lasts only a few weeks, but at the same time if your husband has been in rehab twice in seven months then as you know, he’s dealing with a very serious drinking problem. Add violence to a drinking problem like that and things get very scary very quickly. How old are you? Do you have family near by that can help? Do you belong to a community of faith? If so, I’d also recommend meeting with your pastor for support.

    I do believe that God can change people, but it’s rare that that change happens overnight. If your husband is interested in changing then it’s possible, but he’s been in rehab twice in seven months which sounds a little like maybe he’s not ready to do the work of changing yet.

    You’re going to need a lot of support as you decide what you’re going to do. The most important thing is your physical safety. Take care of that first. Then get to counselling so you have professional support as you decide what you want to do. It may be that your husband comes back from rehab different this time. He may be willing to come to counselling with you. Be very careful not to put yourself in harm’s way. You may need some time apart while you figure out what the future holds. He has broken your trust quite severely. Trust can be rebuilt, but it takes time.

  • kayla says:

    Hi,
    I recently, August, got married to a man whom I’ve known for 7 months. It all happened so quickly…as of now he is in rehab, for alcoholism, for the second time (within the seven months), and I’m not sure if I can, or will, continue once he returns from rehab. He has verbally, emotionally, and physically harmed me – do I wait to see if God changes him, turns him back into the man i fell in love with, or do I begin talking with a divorce attorney now? Please help, advice and comments welcome :)

    Thank you
    Kayla from Texas!

  • Claire Colvin Claire Colvin says:

    Hi Funmi, I don’t mean to be harsh, but I don’t think it’s up to you whether to continue or get out of the relationship – he has already ended it. What you need to decide now is whether you are interested in (or able to) be just friends with him or not. He has been honest with you, which is a good thing. Now you need to decide which way you want things to change, because they have changed.

  • Funmi says:

    I got into a relationship without a proper definition until recently ifind out that he doesn’t seems to care anymore and suddenly said we should be friends and give him some time to readdress some issues. He once told about a girl but that she is not appealing to him anymore. Please, what should i do kind of confused may be to continue or get out of this relationship.

  • Barbara Alpert Barbara Alpert says:

    Lindsay, Thanks for opening up and sharing with us today! It is wonderful that you realize that the relationship you had been in was not good and you decided to get out of it. Many remain in unhealthy relationships and they suffer greatly. It is good to witness how happy and great you feel because you decided to value yourself as God would want you and move beyond the broken relationship. As you said, “You have the whole world in front of you now and free to be with God”. You are correct in saying that He will guide and direct you into a healthy relationship now that you are fully aware of what a bad relationship looks like. You learned a valuable life lesson and if that is what God desired for you to learn…you mastered it!

    Lindsay, at this time I would like to pray for you:

    Father God, I pray that You will continue to heal your beloved daughter Lindsay from any scares within her heart, mind, and spirit from this relationship she has escaped from. May Lindsey find all the comfort, healing, and restoration she needs at this time from Your indwelling Spirit that lives inside of her. Restore her to complete wholeness as she delights in You and Your ways. In time may You bring her into a loving, healthy, lasting relationship that will be blessed by You. In Jesus name, Amen

  • Lindsay says:

    This was funny…wish my breakup had gone this way. My breakup went a bad. People get hurt and it’s not fun when you have been together 2 years, known each other for 3 and then all in one day things change for the worse in some cases, but for the better in my case. I am getting out of a verbally abusive and violent relationship and I feel great!!! I feel like I have the whole world in front of me and I am free!! Free to be with God and I know he will guide me to a healthy, kind relationship when the time is right. God Bless everyone who goes thru heartache.

  • Doris Beck Doris says:

    Very true Benedict…relationships aren’t always easy and when they get difficult we have a decision to make. Do we move on? or do we work it through? It really depends on the initial commitment. I have made a commitment for life to my husband so that when our relationship gets rocky we work it through.

    When we do that our relationship is always better after the fact for having worked through the difficulties, struggles and challenges.

  • benedict66 says:

    well if things don’t go so wll its better to move on.
    bt you should know that what kips a relationship going is the mess in it smetimes, it can’t always be honey,bt the way you handle the situation.
    bt if things get out of hand its better to move on, as i stated earlier.

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi James, I wouldn’t be able to guess why your girlfriend wants to break up with you. What are the reasons that she has given for wanting to break up?

  • james says:

    i was in relationship for many years now, and we love our self, one day my girl friend wake up and change, at goes on she told me she want to break up, please i want to break up, please can some one tell me the cause of all this?

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    You’re right Jake, it is so important to begin your relationship with clear communication. It will help guard against misunderstood expectations and help work through the conflicts and problems that will always come up in a relationship.

  • Jake says:

    I spent nineteen years in a marriage because I (and she) was reluctant to break up in the beginning. Worse than that, we were afraid to talk about it. Instead we were together until we just couldn’t stand it anymore and painfully separated. My recommendation is to talk about the relationship early, evaluate frequently by asking the other person if they are getting what they need from the relationship. Do it before marriage. Don’t be afraid to part ways. If you can do it by mutual agreement, you can remain friends. A delayed break-up can be rough, and always leaves at least one person feeling like a victim.

  • Andrew says:

    Breaking up is a difficult thing to do and one day Jessica if someone ever breaks up with you it will not be very funny. I find that if we seek Christ he will show us if we should break off the relationship and not necessarily for poor behavior. Sometimes the wrong personality are together or if a person is not keen on keeping Christ in the center of the relationship it is impossible to move forward.

    God Bless

  • Lynda says:

    This sends a stong message to men; that it’s okay to end the relationship. I have three adult son’s, and I would hope, they would not think twice to walk away from a person with a poor behavior.

  • Jessica says:

    Very funny.

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