A New Definition of Success

For most of her life Jane was a people-pleaser. What other people thought about her mattered a lot. At 41 Jane was making good money and gaining a reputation as an excellent realtor, but she was also headed toward burnout. The loss of her father later that year completely changed her career path and set her toward a completely new definition of success. This is Jane’s story.

If you want to know more about how God can change your own definition of success, read this.

Have you been widowed? If  you’d like to talk to someone you can use this form to contact a mentor. You’ll hear back by email, usually within a couple of days. Mentoring is free and private.

14 Responses to “A New Definition of Success”

  • Susan says:

    Kezzy, your friend is in relation with a Christina man and the church is not accepting…? Is it a catholic church? I feel, I am not sure also, some catholic churches are quite strict with their members.

    Is your friend is a born again believer?

  • Susan says:

    Dear Elizabeth,

    I would like to pray for you. father God, You know her heart desires and I commit her request into Your hands. Lord, guidance and wisdom in her situation. Lord, bless Elizabeth and I pray for Your direction her life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  • kezzy says:

    Thank you so much for taking the time and interest to answer my questions. I really appreciate it.

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Kezzy, I appreciate your concern for your friend and your desire to follow what the Bible says. As I wrote earlier, you are not going to find specifics on this issue in the Bible. There are some verses that refer to eunuchs and some directives given to men whose genitals have been damaged, but there is no reference to hermaphrodites or intersexuals. I think what Aldo wrote to you on “Do You Trust Him” was pointing in the right direction; the place I would start is to know what God’s intention in marriage is. Rick Warren has a great presentation on the Biblical purpose for marriage in his presentation at Humanum 2014 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XF7cBeDZiM. He gives a lot of good information in his whole discussion but if you start the video at 32:18 you will hear his understanding of what the purpose for marriage is according to the Bible. Once you have a clear idea of what God’s ideal for marriage is, you can then look to Him for guidance on how to achieve that in your own life.

    So what reasons does the church give for not wanting to accept your friend’s desire to marry her boyfriend? We don’t need to go into great detail here, but why does your friend identify herself as female? Again, let me invite you to have this conversation in a more private setting with a mentor; that way we don’t need to distract from the theme of this particular forum. If you are willing to talk there I will connect with you there; just let me know that you have submitted a Mentor Request Form at http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/ and I will grab that before it gets to another mentor.

  • kezzy says:

    Thanks but that doesn’t answer my question. I’m asking for the biblical view of an intersexual getting married. (P.S. I’m already a Christian)

  • Chris says:

    kezzy…sorry to hear of your struggles…you are right, you dont have to live ot please others since they arent the ones who created you. psalm 139 is clear that God takes careful care in forming us in our mothers wombs. i would encourage you to seek Gods will for your life through jesus christ and his forgiveness which he purchased for you at calvary. for more information on how to do that log onto knowingjesuspersonally.com or click talk to a mentor above. praying now that you allow jesus to take control of your lifes destiny. since he knows your future he can be trusted with it. blessings!

  • kezzy says:

    They LOVE and accept her, but they’re not open to her getting married.

  • kezzy says:

    I’m asking for a close friend of mine. She’s (she identifies as female)been in a relationship with a Christian man who is very accepting of her condition- however, her church isn’t so accepting.

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Well Kezzy, the Bible doesn’t address that issue specifically and I wouldn’t want to speculate on that given the limited information available to me. This is a question that should be asked to someone who is more intimately aware of the individuals involved. Is this your situation or are you asking about someone else?

  • kezzy says:

    Yes you have answered my questions 2 and 3 of my questions, thank you :)
    What about QUESTION 1 though???
    I know it sounds silly, but it’s a serious question:
    Can Christian hermaphrodites/Intersexuals get married or do they have to stay single forever???
    Thank you

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Hi Kezzy, I am glad to hear that this video was helpful to you. Who are the people you feel like you have to make happy with your choices? Do you feel like those choices are taking you away from what God has planned for your life?

    Your other questions are off the topic of this forum but since there isn’t an active conversation here, let me briefly respond to your questions. If you would like to talk further about these issues let me encourage you to have a conversation with a mentor. It is free and private; all you need to do is go to http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/ and fill out a Mentor Request Form, and one of our mentors will respond soon by email.

    God tells us in the first couple of chapters of the Bible that it was His idea to make humanity into male and female; “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it” (Genesis 1:27-28) The main purpose we can see clearly evident in this declaration was for the purpose of fulfilling the mandate for humanity to fill and form the Earth. In that perfect state that God created humanity we can see that the man and the woman were perfectly comfortable being naked with one another; “the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” (Genesis 2:25) But something changed when they broke their relationship with God; “Then the eyes of both of them opened, and they knew they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.” (Genesis 3:7) This desire to cover their nakedness was an indication of the impact their broken relationship with God also had implications for their relationship with one another. The opening of their eyes to their nakedness was not just their physical lack of covering but more importantly was the spiritual nakedness and shame. They realized that their rebellion against God had changed who they were forever. They had rebelled against God’s authority over them but now they realized they were completely deficient to be an authority for themselves. Their flimsy attempts at covering their nakedness with leaves was inadequate, as I am sure you can appreciate. God in His love, provided animal skins with which they could cover themselves. This was the beginning of the promise of how the death of Jesus would perfectly cover our shame and clothe us in His perfection one day. Throughout the rest of the Bible we see God directing humanity cover the shame of their nakedness. Just a few chapters later, Noah’s son Ham is cursed, because he disrespected his father’s nakedness (Genesis 4:20-27) So I think it is a biblically mandated ideal to keep our nakedness private.

    The only place in the Bible where there is a celebration of nakedness is in the love poems of the Song of Solomon. Here the two lovers revel in each others nakedness as they come together in their sexual union. The intimacy they describe is a profound ‘knowing’ of one another. This reflects the desire of God that we should ‘know’ Him and be ‘known’ by Him. That is part of the reason why the union of husband and wife is based on a monogamous commitment; our commitment to God is also unique and exclusive.

    So I would say that what makes parts of the body sexual is their connection to our call to be fruitful and multiply. The genitals and a woman’s breasts are key in the conception and nurturing of babies. It makes sense then that they would be kept private for that special relationship between a husband and wife who are brought together by God to become one flesh and produce offspring according to God’s mandate.

    I don’t know if that answers your question, but as I said, if you would like to talk about this more connect with a mentor. If you post a message here letting me know that you have sent out a Mentor Request, I will find a way to access that so you and I can converse more about this.

    I know that God will bless you as you try to seek out His thoughts about this.

  • kezzy says:

    Please Can someone help me?? I’m so confused I didn’t know where to post these questions.

    I’m really curious but I’d like to know:
    1)Can Christian hermaphrodites/intersexuals get married?
    2)Why are the genitals considered private? What makes particular body parts sexual?
    3)Is it just a social construct or are certain body parts (biblically) considered sexual and private?

    On another note:
    Thank you so much for this video! I’m 18 and I feel like I’m at the crossroads of life. I’m so confused about my life plans and choices and I feel I chose certain degrees just to make other people happy.

  • Shelley says:

    Dear Father God.

    Lord i lift up my sister to you and anyone who is going through widow hood at this time in there lives. that You will put there arms around them and comfort them.
    Also I pray that you are with my sister right now as she has shared her needs with you oh Lord. In Jesus Mighty name amen

  • elizabeth masita says:

    help me to pray for my husband to change and receive Jesus also i have too young men one Alex the parents do not knew where he is and justice bond by drugs.kindly stasis me to pray for deliverance more so God to help me in my prayer life and my family too.

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