Top 10 Safety Tips For Women

Written by Darren and Beth Laur

womansafetyHave you ever felt frightened or intimidated when out walking alone? Have you ever wondered what you should do if approached by an attacker? Have you ever worried about becoming yet another home invasion statistic?

The sad reality is that we live in an increasingly violent society in which the fear of crime is ever-present. Personal safety has become an issue of importance for everyone, but especially for women. Concerned about this state of affairs, Sgt. Darren Laur and his wife Beth Laur began teaching self-defence classes and safety seminars in 1993, and have since reached thousands of women. The demand they saw for reliable safety information, coupled with the need to debunk widespread myths regarding self-defence measures, convinced the two experts to write a book.

The following points are ten things that every woman should know about personal safety, and are covered in the Laurs’ newly published book, Total Awareness: A Woman’s Safety Book:

1. Awareness: Your first line of defence. Most people think of kicks to the groin and blocking punches when they hear the term “self-defence.” However, true self-defence begins long before any actual physical contact. The first, and probably most important, component in self-defence is awareness: awareness of yourself, your surroundings, and your potential attacker’s likely strategies.

The criminal’s primary strategy is to use the advantage of surprise. Studies have shown that criminals are adept at choosing targets who appear to be unaware of what is going on around them. By being aware of your surroundings and by projecting a “force presence,” many altercations which are commonplace on the street can be avoided.

2. Use your sixth sense. “Sixth sense.” “Gut instinct.” Whatever you call it, your intuition is a powerful subconscious insight into situations and people. All of us, especially women, have this gift, but very few of us pay attention to it. Learn to trust this power and use it to your full advantage. Avoid a person or a situation which does not “feel” safe–you’re probably right.

3. Self-defense training. It is important to evaluate the goals and practical usefulness of a women’s self-defense program before signing up. Here are two tips:

a) Avoid martial arts studios unless you specifically wish to train in the traditional martial arts techniques and are prepared for a long-term commitment. Many women’s self-defense programs teach watered-down martial arts techniques that are complex and unrealistic under the stress of an actual attack;

b) The self-defense program should include simulated assaults, with a fully padded instructor in realistic rape and attack scenarios, to allow you to practice what you’ve learned.

4. Escape: Always your best option. What if the unthinkable happens? You are suddenly confronted by a predator who demands that you go with him–be it in a car, or into an alley, or a building. It would seem prudent to obey, but you must never leave the primary crime scene. You are far more likely to be killed or seriously injured if you go with the predator than if you run away (even if he promises not to hurt you). Run away, yell for help, throw a rock through a store or car window–do whatever you can to attract attention. And if the criminal is after your purse or other material items, throw them one way while you run the other.

5. Your right to fight. Unfortunately, no matter how diligently we practice awareness and avoidance techniques, we may find ourselves in a physical confrontation. Whether or not you have self-defence training, and no matter what your age or physical condition, it is important to understand that you CAN and SHOULD defend yourself physically. You have both the moral and legal right to do so, even if the attacker is only threatening you and hasn’t struck first. Many women worry that they will anger the attacker and get hurt worse if they defend themselves, but statistics clearly show that your odds of survival are far greater if you do fight back. Aim for the eyes first and the groin second. Remember, though, to use the element of surprise to your advantage–strike quickly, and mean business. You may only get one chance.

6. Pepper spray: Pros and cons. Pepper spray, like other self-defence aids, can be a useful tool. However, it is important to understand that there can be significant drawbacks to its use. For example, did you know that it doesn’t work on everyone? Surprisingly, 15-20% of people will not be incapacitated even by a full-face spray. Also, if you’re carrying it in your purse, you will only waste time and alert the attacker to your intentions while you fumble for it. Never depend on any self-defence tool or weapon to stop an attacker. Trust your body and your wits, which you can always depend on in the event of an attack.

7. Home invasions: A crime on the rise. The primary way to prevent a home invasion is simply to never, ever open your door unless you either are certain you know who’s on the other side or can verify that they have a legitimate reason for being there (dressing up as a repair person or even police officer is one trick criminals use). In the event that an intruder breaks in while you’re home, you should have a safe room in your house to which you can retreat. Such a room should be equipped with a strong door, deadbolt lock, phone (preferably cell phone), and a can of pepper spray or fire extinguisher.

8. Avoiding a car-jacking. Lock all doors and keep windows up when driving. Most car-jackings take place when vehicles are stopped at intersections. The criminals approach at a 45-degree angle (in the blind spot), and either pull you out of the driver’s seat or jump in the passenger’s seat.

9. A travel tip. Violent crimes against women happen in the best and worst hotels around the world. Predators may play the part of a hotel employee, push their way through an open or unlocked door, or obtain a pass key to the room. As with home safety, never open your door unless you are certain the person on the other side is legitimate, and always carry a door wedge with you when you travel. A wedge is often stronger than the door it secures.

10. Safety in cyberspace. Although the Internet is educational and entertaining, it can also be full of danger if one isn’t careful. When communicating on-line, use a nickname and always keep personal information such as home address and phone number confidential. Instruct family members to do the same. Keep current on security issues, frauds, viruses, etc. by periodically referring to “The Police Notebook” Internet Safety Page.

Darren and Beth Laur ©1999

126 Responses to “Top 10 Safety Tips For Women”

  • My wife was explaining how she wants to start learning how to defend herself. I think it’s a great idea to have a self-defense program simulate assaults. I think that it’s a great opportunity to show what you have learned. Great information.

  • Hi! Thank you for sharing, this will be a good advice. I will show this to my wife when she gets home.

  • Aldo says:

    Wellesley, thank you for your approval of, and eventually sharing the article with your wife. It makes good sense to be aware of and prepared to use the safety tips given.

  • Pradhnaya says:

    We can develop a device which will safe the women at the time when she is in danger…everyone using android so they can also aford the device …the device will not harmful so much in the sense the women is in danger can use the device the people in the front of the women will effected by device…the device conducting less voltage which is not dangerous The shock weakens theattacker temporarily, giving you ample chance to escape the scene….in such a way she can protect her self…the name for device her smart phone…it will detect the criminal for detecting we can use a senser.

  • Aldo says:

    Pradhnaya, thank you for sharing your thoughts and idea with us. It sounds like a good idea, but whether it will works or not will be seen in its development and use.

  • bob b miller says:

    I have a friend who has a warehouse full of protective devices for both men and women who is looking for a market to sell them. He would also like to hear from anyone who has productive devices for sell. This would give me an opportunity to go back to work selling his devices and literature.

  • HONEY says:


  • I like #4. That’s the right thing to do when danger is approaching. Good information.

  • Sharon says:

    to honey good comment I totally agree with you they will rise up to fight back God bless you– sharon

  • GwynneP says:

    This is an excellent article, and one women should take very seriously. I recently joined Damsel in Defense which specializes in personal safety and protection products, primarly for women. The company’s mission is to equip, empower and educate others with the tools to not only keep them safe, but also give them the confidence to know they have a way to protect themselves should they ever feel threatened. I totally agree that Awareness is # 1.

  • Sakti chowdhury says:

    I have an ernest request to join your society of helping others.I wish I could be a port member of helping girls,women,my sistera and myself.Would I help

  • Carole says:

    Being able to defend yourself is an excellent idea as long as it is legal. If it harms or kills the attacker you can be charged with attempted murder or just plain murder. The reason being he/she can not defend themselves. I think learning a martial art is far superior to a device. Also, pray, pray, pray. My prayers are with you.

  • Aldo says:

    Sakti Chowdhury, if you are truly interested in this ministry of helping others, go to, and fill out the contact information at the bottom of the page.

  • This will be so very useful. Thank you for this idea, lots of women or bullied person will be saved because of this article. Good day!

  • Lisa Megan says:

    Thank you so much for sharing these useful tips. Many women and girls might not be aware of the essential safety moves. These points could be a great help to them.

  • Alfred says:

    I’d say, when you have to or want to be alone on a walk or in the home, it is important to be at ease. Animals as well as people have a 6th sense that tells them how fear-full you are. My suggestion is that #1 needs to be a prayer for divine protection, with thanksgiving that you will be safe. Then follow the 10 points outlined here.
    When Carole (Dec. 24th) says “pray, pray, pray”, she does not mean to try and “twist God’s arm”, but rather, to condition ourselves to trust Him, and to have the wisdom to use especially points 1-5 as necessary.

  • #3 has a point but is not just all about defending yourself, It also gives peace of mind when you’re in danger and it keeps you calm.

  • Elkay says:

    Wellesley, thank you for that observation. Since #5 makes the point that “your odds of survival are far greater if you do fight back”, some form of self-defense training seems to be advisable, especially if one lives in a dangerous area.

  • Ssndra says:

    Now more than ever it is important that women and children be taught the art of self defense. These are the groups most at risk. Start with simple things like self confidence and build from there.
    Great information to share.

  • My sister was recently attacked in a parking lot. Luckily, there was somebody there to help her escape. I didn’t realize that pepper spray can be a useful tool for women that are in danger, and that with conjunction with natural instincts and self-defense training it can help keep them safe. I’ll be sure to let her know about this information.

  • neha paul says:

    ee thnkz……. :)

  • Aldo says:

    Thomas, thank you for your common sense comments. May they save many from nasty attackers who intend to do them harm.

  • Hafsa Ishaq says:

    I was in a mall and looking for some household items. 3 persons were staring me and following me. I tried to go on the first floor and they followed me there too. I went to the second floor and they followed me there too.I then went to the corner of the 3rd floor and after half an hour I came out of the corner and went to the main floor and left every stuff there and was going out of the mall suddenly I saw the 3 people waiting for some one or me at the entrance. I got shocked and called my brother to come and pick me. He came and I was safe at home. I still have to learn how to defend myself and yeah MENS ARE DOGS! Not all of them but a few.

  • Doris Beck Doris Beck says:

    Hafsa, that must have been scary for you. However it could be that these people just happened to be headed in the same direction that you were and not actually following you. But if you are suspicious, it is always better to be safe than sorry so calling your brother was an excellent idea! Good thinking!

  • Mellisa says:

    Good article, but you forgot one. If you own an Android, there is a MUST HAVE app for women—It lets you immediately send your location to 911 without actually having to even touch your phone:

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