Hiding in a Virtual World
When I first got to university, I decided, of course, that I wanted to do well. But in order to do that, I knew I had to stay completely focused. For me, that meant staying in when all my friends were out having fun. Partying was their way to escape the stress of life. I told myself I couldn’t afford to take a break from reality for the sake of fun. I had to be in control. Every weekend, I could hear music playing and people laughing through my closed door. I would have loved to join them, but never accepted their invitations, no matter how tempting it was. My usual excuse was that I was too busy with homework.
The truth? Most of the time, I wasn’t doing homework. Instead, I was playing my favorite computer game of all time: The Sims.
If you’ve ever played The Sims, then you’ll know it’s a really simple concept. You get to control the lives of little virtual people. They grow up, get jobs, fall in love, have children, and die (one way or another). You fulfill their desires or realize their fears, and the choice is yours. It’s not a game for everyone. For me, though, the ability to control every detail of life, even if it’s not real, pulls me in. I love knowing that nothing can go wrong without my permission, and that the events I have lined up for my Sims will go exactly according to plan. It was the power I wanted in real life, but simply couldn’t have.
So I’d spend my weekends holed up in my room, completely immersed in the virtual lives of my Sims. At least I’m not out partying, I told myself, and I was convinced that this made me a better student. I managed to keep up with my social and academic life, but it was frustrating to not have the control I had in the game. I couldn’t fast-forward through my assignments or get a job just by browsing through the newspaper. I felt like life was too slow and too unpredictable for me.
One Saturday night, I was having a “productive” evening with my Sims, when I heard a giggling group of girls walking down the hall. I could tell they were coming back from a party. It must be late, I thought. I glanced at the clock. Sure enough, it was past 3AM, and I had to be up early the next day. Where did the time go? I asked myself. The answer was obvious.
Into the black hole of virtual reality.
It took me some time to realize that my version of escaping the stress of life was no different than my friends’. Whether it was with partying or a glowing computer screen, whether we wanted to lose control or seize it, we were all trying to leave our problems behind. I thought hiding in the world of the Sims was just a brief vacation from stress that let me maintain control in my life. But it was never enough. It was leaving me unsatisfied with life – and craving something real.
Where have you been hiding? What is a form of escape you turn to when you want everything under control? Feel free to comment below.
Tags: computers, control, escape, university, virtual reality
I read my Bible as a form of escape and have been neglecting everything else in my life.