The following are actual statements found in insurance forms
where Newfoundland car drivers attempted to summarize the details
of an accident in the fewest words.
1. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.
2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
3. I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.
4. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
5. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.
6. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
7. The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
8. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother- in-law, and headed over the embankment.
9. I attempted to kill a fly, and I drove into a telephone pole.
10. I had been shopping for plants all day, and was on my way home. As I reached the intersection, a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
11. I had been driving for forty years, when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
12. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble and my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.
13. As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
14. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
15. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
16. An invisible car come out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
17. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, found that I had a fractured skull.
18. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
19. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.
20. I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
21. In indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
22. I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray dogs.
23. The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end.