Fan the Flame

April 24, 2013

How do you put passion back into your relationship? What do you do to fan the flames? Jim Burns in his book, Creating an Intimate Marriage, suggests developing a plan to re-ignite those sparks.  His suggestions:

15 seconds        Passionate kiss every day.

15 minutes        Connect 5 times a week to talk.

1.5 hours          Date once a week.

1.5 hours          Sexual intimacy blocked in the schedule.

Sound simple? Overwhelming? It could be fun. The key is to start where you
are in your relationship and build from there. A passionate 15 second kiss that doesn’t demand immediate gratification can rekindle some of those “wow” feelings. A big step might be carving out 15 minutes of connection time to talk about your life and reconnect emotionally.

The date can be a simple muffin and coffee in a restaurant or if your budget requires creativity, a candlelight dinner at home. For a period of our lives, breakfast at McDonald’s was a date we had each Saturday while our kids were in swimming lessons.

Scheduled sexual intimacy? I schedule many less important activities. I’ve realized that in the craziness of life this can allow for emotional preparation and keeps sex as a priority in our relationship. Remember this is not a quickie but a slow, pleasure-filled 90 minutes!

Action:  Talk about the passion level in your relationship. Evaluate separately...on a scale of 0-10, how passionate is your relationship?  Share your conclusions and come up with a plan to fan the flame.

Suggested Resource: Creating an Intimate Marriage by Jim Burns