Conflict Management

October 2, 2013

Conflict is a normal part of any relationship! Conflict can be constructive or destructive depending on how it is managed. In the book The 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make, Bill and Pam Farrel state that research shows there are many styles of effective conflict resolution. The key word is effective. They present some characteristics that flow from both.

Effective Conflict

You feel better about your relationship when you are done talking.

You have confidence that your future disagreements will enhance your relationship.

The process of making up is positive for both people.

Ineffective Conflict

You feel worse about your relationship when you are done talking.

You start to avoid or dread serious conversations.

Your arguments do not lead to making up.

You become increasingly critical of one another.

If you are getting more check marks on the ineffective list you may be headed for relationship dysfunction.

Action: Talk about how you feel and what ineffective conflict management is doing to your relationship. Establish some ground rules for dealing with conflict that you both agree on.

Suggested Resource: The 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make by Bill and Pam Farrel