Love Beyond a Feeling

December 11, 2013

Most relationships have wonderful emotional moments, feeling the positives of love, the mixture of: joy, excitement, satisfaction, and passion. This is the substance of movies and love stories. We cherish and savor these moments.

However, these emotional moments are not everything.

Sadly, relationship foundations built on these feelings alone do not survive. The feelings of love give way to anger or dissatisfaction during difficult or hurtful times. Some will say, “I am not in love anymore.” Relationship survival depends on a couple moving to a deeper love, one that is willful and intentional. This love has a different character. It is disciplined. These relationships act in loving ways even in the absence of positive feelings. Deeper love values the other person, and deliberately chooses to act with kindness even when the other person does not respond in kindness. This love is a choice founded on determination and commitment: no matter what.

The benefits of this commitment bring freedom to be honest and transparent. Knowing your partner will love you no matter what provides an enduring foundation to any relationship. Love is much more than a feeling!

Action: First, acknowledge that love is more than an emotion. Love is a commitment to the well being of another person apart from emotions.

Second, commit to show love the next time you don’t feel like it. Often, the feeling follows when you make the choice.

“People need loving the most when they deserve it the least.”- Louise Hay