Grow Together or Grow Apart

February 19, 2014

So often I hear the words, “How did we get here?” from couples who are wondering how they have ended up feeling miles apart. We all change and grow. Couples that grow together do some simple things to ensure they keep their friendship growing.

They spend regular time together. Whether it’s a daily 15 minutes to check in with each other or a weekly evening together, they are intentional about spending time on their relationship together. (Sunday night after the kids were asleep worked well for us.) A regular date night, once a week or once a month, can also give space for time together.

They know what is happening in each other’s lives. They ask questions that go deeper than exchanging facts. They keep in touch with their separate worlds of work, recreation and emotions.

They share some common interests. Books, movies, sports, home renovations, outdoor activities, video games, card games, church, or community involvement could be on the list. Couples that grow together know they must share some activities as a couple.

Action:   Set aside some couple time in your weekly schedules to connect.

Ask questions to understand the other person’s world.

Develop a new interest together or resurrect an old favourite. It could be as simple as reading a book together or watching a program together that makes you laugh, think and talk.