Could you forgive your daughter? Video provided by: TruthMedia FIlms
William Blake once said, “It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.” Forgiving a family member can seem almost impossible. Often the ones who are closest to us end up hurting us. When that happens, we are faced with a choice. We can hold on to bitterness and anger, or release it and find healing.
Of course, forgiveness will never be easy or straightforward. It takes time for wounds to fully heal. Have you been holding on to bitterness, reluctant to forgive someone? Is it time to seek reconciliation instead?
Take our interactive Fly Away follow-up study to explore this issue and receive a personal reply via email or use this form to talk to a mentor about forgiving or being forgiven. We’re here to listen and will respond confidentially.
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tony….sorry you are struggling….parent/child relationships can be tough at times especially when the offsprings heart isnt right towards neither their earthly nor heavenly father. like the story of the prodigal son in luke 15, there can be times when our children rebel against us. we see this also in the story of david with his son absalom in the old testament. my suggestion would be this, be sure of your own personal, saving relationship with God through jesus christ in order that you can deal with your daughter through the firm love of God our father for her. that way, you can be sure that you are dealing with her according to Gods leading and according to his instructions in the bible. for more information on doing that log onto knowingjesuspersonally.com or click talk to a mentor above. my prayer for you and your daughter is spiritual restoration through the love and grace of jesus christ. blessings!
How can i forgive my daughter whose 20 years old who a liar hates me physically attacks me when their angry Ive forgiven them in the past and they have done the same thing again, I do not feel save around her she’s only reaches out to me now because it’s Christmas we haven’t spoken for 18 months
Dear Father God.
Lord I lift up anyone who is struggling with this situation in there lives that You will heal them and comfort them. In Jesus Mighty Name Amen
MY DAUGHTER IS 14YR SHES A VERY GOOD KID, BUT HER DADDY NEVER BEEN IN HER LIFE NOT MENTALLY FINANCIALLY OR PHYSICALLY ONLY FOR 12 YEARS HAVE WE LIVED ACROSS FROM HIM I MOVED 2 YRS AGO TO A BETTER NEIGHBORHOOD AND GIVE MY OTHER 2 CHILDREN A BETTER PLACE MY TWINS NOW 11YRS OLD BUT BECAUSE SHE HAS A DADDY THAT DONT CARE AND ALLOWS HER TO DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS FROM DYEING HER HAIR TO HAVING A BOYFRIEND THAT I DIDNT EVEN KNOW ABOUT HAVE HER SLEEPING IN A HOUSE WHERE HE RENTS THE ROOM NEXT TO HERS TO A STRANGER (MALE) AND THE OTHER ROOM IS HIS AND HIS GIRLFRIEND, WHAT KIND OF LIFE HE WANTS FOR OUR DAUGHTER SHE HAS HER OWN ROOM NEW BEDRM SET STILL EMPTY WAITING FOR HER TO COME BACK HOME AFTER A WHOLE MONTH BEING GONE, BUT HE JUST WANTS TO HURT ME HE HAS MY DAUGHTER THINKING THAT I DONT WANT HER. IT’S SO HARD FOR ME RIGHT NOW, I CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP THINKING ONE DAY IS GOING TO BE LATE, I SHOULD BE ANGRY AT HIM BUT IM NOT I LIVE FOR MY CHILDREN HE HAS HIS LIFE WHY HE’S SO BITTER I DONT KNOW. I WEEK BEFORE MY DAUGHTER LEFT WITH HIM SHE ASK ME TO LET HIM BACK HOME THAT HE STOPPED SEEING HIS GIRLFRIEND I SAID SWEETIE I ALWAYS LET HIM IN BUT THIS TIME I CAN’T DO IT AGAIN NOT FOR YOU OR ME ANYMORE HE HAS HIS LIFE AND CLAIMS HIS GIRLFRIENDS PREGNANT AND MY DAUGHTER RESPONDS WAS “NO SHES NOT AND HE’S LEAVING HER” SO BECAUSE I REFUSE TO BE WITH HIM HE’S SO UPSET TOLD MY DAUGHTER TO LEAVE AND NOW HIS GIRLFRIEND IS STILL IN THE HOUSE. NOW I ASK MYSELF WILL SHE EVER REALIZE WHAT KIND OF GAMES HE’S PLAYING WITH HER. I LOVE AND MISS MY DAUGHTER BUT WHENEVER SHE DECIDES TO COME BACK HOME WILL I STILL HAVE THE SAME FEELINGS AS I DO NOW.
What a beautiful story. Shame about the volume – couldn’t hear the narrator for the last 1/3 of the film. There are beautiful/difficult lessons here – but forgiveness? What was the sin? Rudeness? It is hardly a sin for a child to want to learn what it means to be independent. It is not wrong of them to want space. Ideally, they would stay in touch – but it is hardly a sin for them to not.
The beautiful lesson here is the suffering/pain involved in loving our children while giving them freedom to live, love and make mistakes of their own – and still loving them and providing an unconditionally loving place to come back to when they need it. This is living the love of the father who welcomed back his prodigal son. This is the love of Father God.
We are the custodians of our children and therefore answerable to God as concerns their lives. Yes, many times they go astray, remember we too were children/teenagers and went astray in whichever way and at whatever stage/time. We are supposed to correct our children in love, forgive them, not once, (Matthew 18:22), Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.. If in Matthew 19:14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”, we are to embrace the children, no matter the age, just as Jesus did.
Isaiah 1:18 says, “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool” and in Psalm 51:2 “Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin”. Just as Jesus forgives us our sins every time and always, so should we forgive our children without condition, but with firmness. I do forgive my children but am firm with them and still love them as God forgives me and loves me always.
Yes it sure is the Prodigal son all over again….and you are so right Beth, it is easier to forgive when they come home then when they are away and don’t come home.
It’s the ‘prodigal son’ story all over again. As the mother of one such wayward child, I can testify that forgiving them when they come home is easy. Forgiving them when they DON’T come home is the hard part. We are much like that in our relationship to God. He is our Father, yet we leave him and run off to pursue our own desires. Then, when things get bad, we come running back to Him. He is always willing to forgive us. All we need do is ask.
We do ourselves. I was brought up spoiled being alonely child to parents that did love me, but was hard to show at times, becasue of there up bringing. I have forgiven them along time ago as wrote down on paper what I though of them and how they tried there best to raise me and I was not there own blood, but very special to them becasue they could not have children. I HAD TO WRITE THOSE NOTES. and am glad I did becaseu they are now with my Lord and He is my PARENT NOW!
Lessons lessons lessons.Who learns?
Nick, you sound a little bitter. You know, “kids” go wrong due to drugs, alcohol and/or mental illness – even when the parents have done the best they can. What is a “false belief”? A person believes what they believe – it’s not false to them.
Religion is neither legal or illegal. Remember, separation of church and state. You don’t want the government getting into religion, that’s how the USA was born – to get away from the British government and to come to this continent for freedome of their religious choice. Would you want the government to force you to choose a religion? I don’t think so.
Nick, I wonder how you would decide what kind of things should be legal for a parent to teach their children and which things aren’t? That seems somewhat arbitrary and harmful for a person/government to do, wouldn’t you say? What reasons do you have for claiming that religion should not be legal to teach until age 19? (And why is 19 the magical number?) Is it because you believe that any and all religion is inherently harmful? I would suggest that it is not …
if parents could raise there kids properly, we wouldnt need some false belief in “God”. Religion shouldn’t be legal will to teach until 19.
It is said that forgiveness is a choice yet it needs the grace of God to take the bold step of forgiveness. At times family members can hurt us repeatedly and deliberately. It is therefore upon us to choose to forgive and move on or otherwise. If God is not in one’s life, forgiveness can be almost impossible, but when we remember that He forgave us and lay His life down for us, and that it is by forgiving others that we too are forgiven, then it is paramount to make the right choice of forving others.
It is one of the hardest things to do, is to forgive a family mrmber. My brother abused me, then my son did the same to my daughter. It was only Gods love and grace that enabled me to forgive,..to stop bitternes from creeping in. I forgive, because I love them, and there was not a choice between do I, or do I not, forgive.God has forgiven me so much more than I will ever have to forgive.The hardest thing for me, was to forgive myself, for not protecting my daughter.God, in His compassion, has taught me to do that. Praise His name
I have heartbreak and grief within me over my youngest daughter who is mentally ill and homeless. I am in constant pain over it. She has been in and out of jail and has had two stays in a state hospital. She is 34 years old and has had nothing but a hard life since she was 18 years old!
There seems to be nothing I can do to help her. I live two states away, but I did let her live with me from the age of 22 to 26 and it was a nightmare. I didn’t know anything about mental illness until she was diagnosed in 2008 when she was in the state hospital for evaluation. There’s too much to tell for a short “comment” space, but this video really touched me. I know that father’s heartbreak. For me, it is not a matter of forgiveness… of course, I forgive her. I love her more than words can say.
I think forgiving a little harder when it is relative but God told that as i forgive your sin ,forgive your self one another.so it is must to be forgivness.
God has forgiven us of so many sins and it displeases him if we do not forgive others that hurt us. Many times..hurting people hurt others without meaning to due us harm. We ought to remember that we do not fight against flesh and blood it is the evil one in this world that will do anything to tear relationships apart exspecially familys and followers of Christ. The above clip reminded me of the prodigal son in the bible…we ought to shout with JOY when others are seeking our forgivness..I was sexually and verbally abused by family members BUT once Jesus entered my heart and the Holy Spirit began to work on the layers of anger and hatred such forgivness and mending arouse…
It is hard to forgive if someone does something that has really hurt you. Hanging on to anger and bitterness only hurts you. Forgiveness sets you free. Jesus has forgiven me so I feel it is imperative to forgive others.
Well! Forgiveness-that is hard one, but you know He forgave us for killing Him on a tree. Can we not do like wise to others? When we do the burden is lifted from the compassionate Teacher, who rose from the grave for ME.