Joyce's Thoughts on Spirituality
My spiritual journey:
>In the Chinese culture, you’re raised and encouraged to always be the best of the best. I lived for people’s approval, to be praised by others. When people said I did a good job, I would feel valuable and confident. When there wasn’t praise, I was unhappy.
>I thought that God was just a story that people told. I thought people who were weak created God to create comfort for themselves. I had an "I’m the best" attitude and always wanted to prove I was in control of my life, that I was better than God.
>Then my concept of God was that of a magic genie in a bottle, a servant to meet my needs. If I asked him for something, he should give it to me. I prayed really hard for God to let me get into my top choice of school in Taiwan. I was devastated when I didn’t get into ANY of my choices at all, never mind the top three. I failed again during the re-test.
I totally gave up on God, because hey, I thought it was already so good of me to give him two chances.
>I was upset, ashamed and felt useless due to my failure. I ended up in a really low quality school and started to doubt my own ability. Maybe I wasn’t as good as I thought.
So I gave up. I started hanging out with my classmates, who were also low in motivation at this lower class school.
>I had rebellious heart. One day during an argument with my sister, she said, "God says that love is kind. Love is patient. You need to have patience with your parents." The words struck me like thunder and lightning. I had no comebacks. My mouth was shut. The tears started to come.
>I wanted a change. I didn’t want to waste my life like this anymore. She asked me to go back to church with her.
Two weeks later, our immigration papers to Canada were approved. I didn’t want to leave, but I realize now that it was God’s perfect timing to remove me from the negative influence of my friends.
>Moving to Canada and starting from ground zero was really hard. Having no friends, nor any basic language skills made me feel like a nobody. I couldn’t even understand what the teacher was saying at school.
I started to realize how little I am and how great God is. I realized my weakness and asked God for help, asking for enough strength just to get through one day.
>God knew that pride was my strongest weakness. But he broke that in me. That’s when I started to grow. God has changed me into someone who loves to help people patiently to overcome their weaknesses and understand they are valuable in God’s eyes, instead of writing them off.
Related reading:
- Questions about spirituality? Read our spirituality articles
- What’s your Spiritual Interest Quotient? Take our SIQ quiz and find out
- How you can know God personally
- Back to Student Profiles
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