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by Gail Rodgers
**In a moment of anger it all boils over. Learn more and discuss this issue with a mentor: http://marriageuncensoredtalk.com/love_busters/angry-outbursts/
Are you depositing toxins into the important relationships in your life without even realizing it?
Think of the common conversations you have with your loved ones. Are your words too often negative and critical? A diet of negativity and criticism will put toxic waste into a relationship often doing irreparable damage.
So often we can justify our criticisms as we point out other’s flaws. Yet when the majority of our words and tones have that negative edge we will find we are no longer putting building blocks into that relationship. Rather we are beginning the slow process of demise.
People will seldom remember the words you spoke but they will always remember how you made them feel.
How do people feel after an encounter with you?
If you find the flow of your words leans toward negativity and criticism more often than not, then do a heart check. What is going on in your heart and mind? Are you feeling bitter, neglected, jealous or perhaps lonely?
Spend some time asking God to show you the root of the negativity that flows from your heart. He can be trusted to reveal the cause and help you find a way to work through it.
Proverbs 4:23 gives us good advice: “Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.”
If what springs from the well of your heart does not speak life to those around you, go back and see where you have left your heart unguarded. God will help you discover why negativity found a home there and He can help you change.
~Father God,
Please help the words of my mouth to speak blessings to those around me today. Show me any bitter root or place where I have allowed negativity and criticism to find a home in my heart. Help me to guard my heart. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
Questions to ponder: Do your flow of your words lean toward negativity and criticism to people? How can we become more aware of the fact that we are doing this? What steps do you plan to take to start speaking a blessing to people?
About the Author
This devotional was written by Gail Rodgers. Learn more about Gail: http://www.talk.thelife.com/authors/gail-rodgers/
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Two and a half years ago my husband passed away, he was 48 years old. My 14 year old son and I have no idea what happened to him. One day we were living a comfortable, happy life. In an instant we were dashed into the most horrible nightmare, and the last thing we have been since then is comfortable, financially or spiritually.
Last night my son stated that until God proved himself to him he no longer believed in Him. My husband and I raised this boy in church. I thought it was just me feeling this way. I don’t know what to do, how to get God to do anything, it’s like God is as absent from our lives as my husband is.
How do I help my son when I feel as deserted by God as he does?
I realize that speaking negative is disasterous, I just don’t know how to get out of this place where death left us. I am disabled, I am broken-hearted, and I have nothing good to speak about really.
I sit in my house every single day. All of my close friends live in other states. The only adult communication I had was with my husband on a daily basis. Now he’s gone. Our car is falling apart, our finances are horrible, and to be frank, the things my husband and I acquired I can no longer afford to keep up.
I just keep telling God that He really needs to do something. If my earthly husband did not respond to my cries of suffering for over two and half years I would leave him. I understand how my son feels. God is suppose to be my husband now, and my son’s father. Where is He then?
Forgive me for being so negative. I wish I had something good that had happened, I would sure talk about it. I would love to be happy again.
Hopefully someone here will offer something we can hold on to.
Oh Tammy, I can almost understand how you feel. In spite of your husband being gone, you are here and so is your son. God has a purpose for you and your son. I have to believe that for my children and I too. I have a husband, he is a hard working man who loves the Lord and loves my children even though they are not his biological, he has two of his own. Prior to my marriage to him I was married twice, both very cruel men and abusive. I felt so alone and worried so about my children and us being on the street. Now I am 50, they are all either married, one with a child, one on the way and my youngest in college which we cannot afford, she is taking out loans. I must trust God. I too am disabled yet that income will come to a close soon. I worked for 13 years at a steady job and between my husband and I we were able to have a nice life, now I face unemployment and am scared. Yet I have to trust God. I think that is what he wants of us. Our marriage is not a good one, I have a very critical tongue. I know I have reasons, things done by my husband that I lost all respect and trust. I must trust and respect God so that I will be able to trust and respect my husband. Hold on to God and remember, even if you don’t feel it, tell your son how wonderful God is and that “we have him to see us through this sad, scary time”. Do you have a church, a church family? Seek one out, talk to the Pastors, there has to be someone for you to lean on as He never leaves us alone. I will pray for you and if you need me to e-mail you, just let me know. God loves you both.
Lori
Tammy,
My heart goes out to you. I was once a single mom with three
kids. I felt alone alot. My husband at that time abandoned us. I can totally relate to all your feelings. I would not
be here today if it were not for my close friends in my church. God worked thru them. If you don’t have a church
seek out one.
Remember the scripture in Phillipians 4, you can do all
things thru him that gives you strength. I will be praying
for you as well.
God loves you and wants to take on all your burdens.
Love
Kim
Dear Tammy…
Am joining my prayers with Lori and so grateful for the good encouragement from her just read! My husband and I are older and going through financial trials, too..But, can’t even “imagine” how hard it is widowed and with a teenage son! This much I know? ALL who read your sharing today will pray. This is a remarkable comment site..and so many sincere sisters on here that are also “prayer warriors”! Lori’s advice to seek out a church and church family sooooo good. You need the day-to-day support and encouragement! The other day I posted the wonderful church we attend here in our area whenever possible..for years and years..They have online sermons with Praise and Worship ..and if you are led to sample it? Want you to have this..to encourage right now, today:
http://www.mountparan.com/sermonlist.asp
In our ongoing circumstances here? We can’t always get to their marvelous building? But Praise our great Lord and Savior that He puts ministries like this out there for us all. Yesterday was a real challenging day here, and we were blessed by a sermon that was done by Dr. Paul Walker on December 4, 2005..And Dr. David Cooper’s many powerful sermons on here will bless, too!
HE is right there with you and gently awaiting! And? HE will give you the words to say to that special son, too. It is so human to feel as you and he do right now (we’ve gone through that, at times, in this journey here, too! But HE answers just when we think there’s no way and even gives us JOY for the journey!!).
The devil would like you to think the Lord is silent and uncaring..But nothing is farther from the truth! Am praying and “in agreement” with all other sisters who will do the same when they receive your comments..that relief will come: “Lord Jesus, be with Tammy this day in mighty ways..Send a Harvester this day, for you are Lord of the Harvest, for her young son who has been wounded by this sad earthen loss..reassure him of your presence and draw him back to you, Father, shower these dear ones with blessing upon blessing…Send someone to Tammy and her son, Lord, to help them this very day through these challenges..You have someone right nearby her location and in the Powerful Name Of JESUS..help them this day to overflowing, strengthening them in every way…Thank YOU, JESUS, for answering for we know YOU will!!!” Amen and Amen and Amen!!!
I have found that there is true power in the words that we speak and we have the choice to either use our words to build others up or tear them down. Through my own experience I have to admit that when i have been critical of other people then i would end up reaping the same evil thoughts in my own life. However, as the renewal of our minds continue to take place and loving and caring words are spoken then such also comes to play in my life.
There is evil and good in the words that we say on a daily basis and if we are not careful with such talk we will end up reaping whatever it is that we sow.
I have also learned that I need to continuously speak loving words to my own soul for if I do not and my self esteem becomes less that what God intends it to be it is then i realize that i am tearing others down along with me.
TAMMY – My heart goes out to you and your son. You need to reallize that God will see you through this storm and he has a way to make all of our hurts and pains turn into blessings that we could never imagine during such crisis times in our lives. There is a GOD given rainbow waiting for you and your dear son but you have to let go of all of the pain and suffering that Satan has you bound to inorder for God to truly work in your lives again.
You must realize that God will do his part so long as you are willing to do your part. You can live a happy, comfortable life again if you choose to get up out of the pit of destruction that you are in and take proper action in terms of challenging the “MOUNTAINS IN YOUR LIFE”.
My suggestion to you is to read the book of Psalms day in and day out. They will minister to your broken heart. Tell the Lord that you sesire to rededicate your life to him and you will see how quickly he will come to your aid. Try your best to get back into fellowship with other beleivers for God loves to use other people to help us out during our lowest times here on earth. He did it for me and I know that he will do it for you too so long as your heart is in HIM.
Barbara
Dear Sisters in Christ,
During the past several weeks as I have been reading each and every message posted to this Blog Site, I have come to realize that so many of us are living defeated lives and this is not what God desires. So many of us are on disability, me included, and there has to be a reason for all of this. I beleive that Satan tries to destroy us women for he knows that if we become powerful in the Lord that we would make a big differance in the lives of so many.
God used many “WOMEN” through out the BIBLE to do many things and he so desries to continue on in such by using use. Lord, I pray thaat you will make us all an instrument of your Love and Peace. Help us not to live defeated lives for you died on the cross to give us fullness of life even while we are here on earth. Help us all to become the power of example in the beloved lives that are around us. We all have what it takes to get out and make an earnest pay so that we do not have to fret not worry about where the money shall come from. Many of us need to realize that a man is not our only source of income for we have it within our selves to make as much or as little money as we desire.
May the Lord be with us all.
Forgot to leave comments about the wonderful devotional today! In listening to Dr. Paul Walker’s sermon from December 4, 2005 (from that sermon list yesterday!)…a great thought popped out at my husband and I both…”We can’t love others, until we love ourselves”..He wasn’t speaking of “self love” the “Me, Me, ME” ..But self worth in Jesus! Once we have that in place, understand who we are in Him..and allow the Holy Spirit to minister to us..and gently, lovingly “correct” us when our human side comes into play…We can truly “Do unto others as we’d have them do unto us”. Barbara’s words today were strong and true! We have to let our words match up with HIS…I, for one, receive exactly what I speak! And, even after all these year of walking with HIM?…let a negative thought come out yesterday..My husband, ever so gently, reminded me to practice what I tell him!! Am so glad he had the courage to say that to me! Have corrected that negativity today..and speaking and praying the Promises again..We both laughed about this as we both, being human!!, have our “moments”..But PTL..HE never changes..same yesterday, today, and will be in all our tomorrows!!! Lord, help us all to have tongues controlled by you! Amen!!!!
All I can say to this devotion today is WOW!
I really needed this. Lately I have been noticing that Im am so short tempered and my words/thoughts have been not so nice. I have to ask God on an hourly basis to forgive me and help me. I am about to do some soul searching and look for the reason why I may be so bitter lately.
I am going to ask God to help reveal what in me has changed and how to make it right. I see the looks on my children/husband faces when I lash out at them, and I immediately know that I have done it again. I really really want to get over this and back to my happy smiling self.
please pray for me as I pray for all of you in the blog today.
For Ria…
Praying for you and for us all..that HIS “JOY” becomes our “Strength” daily! (Nehemiah 8:10) God Bless!!!! It really was a thought-provoking devotional..Gail nailed it, again! So grateful for these. Thank you, Ria, for your prayers, too!