Make Way for the New You

If you are like me, or any other human in the known universe, you probably struggle with breaking bad habits. But this is not something that I condemn myself about. It isn’t something that paralyzes my everyday life and stops me from moving ahead.

I know that I was intended for something greater than this, that I have a greater purpose so I shouldn’t dwell on negatives.  Author Erwin McManus speaks about this in his book Soul Cravings, saying “We are designed with a need to move forward.  Without it our lives become only shadows of what they could have been”  (see Erwin speak more about our longing for Destiny.) Wallowing in bad habits is not an option.

Feeling stuck

Realizing that you are stuck in a negative pattern in a particular area of your life may not be easy.  When I become aware that I have been actively acting poorly, and have fallen into bad habits, I stop and take stock.  It is the most beneficial thing that you can do for yourself to move forward. There are some questions to ask so that you can assess where you are in the process:

• In what situations do you see yourself participating in the bad habit?
• Is it possibly a habitual thing you don’t think about or notice you are doing?
• Is it stress related?
• Are there certain environmental factors that lead to it happening or trigger it?

Stuck in a bad habit

Getting rid of the old habits will depend on being able to pin exactly what it is that brings about the negative actions time and time again. In the next few weeks, reflect on yourself whenever you notice your negative habits appearing.  After every occurrence, make notes about what happened before you found yourself in that situation, and what lead it to occur. What were you thinking and feeling before, during, and especially after it happened?

Once you have come to realize exactly what the old habit is, and WHY you continue to do it, you can focus on brining personal relief to the situation.  Do you need to work on self-confidence, being in groups, stress, or handling criticism?  There are many reasons that you may have slipped into this negative behavior.  I know that almost every time I catch myself engaging in a negative behavior pattern, it is a symptom of a far greater problem.  The diagnosis has been different for me nearly every time.  But the desire to face the problems head on and move past it has been a constant.

Refusing to be held in a pattern

After you acknowledge the reasons and feelings behind the behavior, you need to move onto the next step: Changing the habit.  What are alternative and healthier reactions that you can pursue the next time you feel yourself slipping? How can you change your ways of thinking and viewing the subject that will allow you to prosper instead on fall into a negative pattern?  Try to think of positive and healthy ways.

When you notice yourself slipping into the old ways, simply stop.  Take a breather.  Count in your head, take a deep breath and reassess the situation.  I would again suggest that you should write down what initially triggered you, and how you began to react.  This will help you avoid these reactions in the future and to start to respond in a positive manner.

Moving forward

Be patient.  Nothing is fixed in mere moments.  Getting rid of the old to allow room for the new in your life is not going to be an easy process.  You WILL slip into your old behaviors from time to time. But you are still moving in the right direction if you don’t give up!

Now keep the momentum going!  Be patient with yourself, and set up a system to address when you are slipping behind.  Have a point person.  Having someone that you feel comfortable to discuss these situations with will be greatly beneficial.  It’s healthy for us to simply share our thoughts and emotions, feelings and struggles with another who is not there to judge, but to offer understanding and support.

Do you want to talk to someone about making changes in your life? Email us and you’ll be matched with mentors who are trained volunteers with real life experience who can answer questions, point you to other resources, or just listen.

Upcoming online chats: Join us for daily online chats! One of our features will be “How often do you balance your check book?” on March 8 at 12:15 pm EST. Please join us to discuss how to balance your check book!

Tags: bad habits, change, erwin mcmanus, moving forward, nicole wiebe, soul cravings

4 Responses to “Make Way for the New You”

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• Doritos says:

  March 8, 2010 at 9:36 am

  I find myself very frustrated with work! My job consists of attending to our volunteers and providing service by collecting blood and platelet components. I am a phlebotomist. I feel overworked many times. I snap at people because I feel they don’t do their share of work. Many call in, over and over again. I know that it is not my place to judge or to complain. But it is becoming a bad habit and I truly need some joy in my work place. I
  like my job and I care alot about our donors. Any advice? Do I need help?Please pray that the Lord strengthens me. Thanks.

• Sheldon Kotyk says:

  March 8, 2010 at 10:21 am

  Hey Doritos,

  Here’s an article about working with volunteers that may give you some ideas.
  http://powertochange.com/inspire/mobilizing-volunteers/

  Praying for you.

• Doritos says:

  March 8, 2010 at 10:56 am

  Thanks, Sheldon

  I will continue to pray as well.

• maria says:

  March 19, 2010 at 9:19 am

  for there is a time I want talk and ask something, for sometimes we have question mark that we want to know, and there is coming in my minds is going in the site more about Him, that is really help a lot for all people, because when you read this kind you may imagine there is someone advice you, for sometime God use this site for all of His children needs the word of life.

  so what I do everyday of my life, if sometime I want talk I go to web page of thoughts for today and read advice, read story because in the story we may learned something and it can go for us for another steps of life, because the story that we read is also based on their life, on God move in them and they share it to everyone, that for sometimes those story that we read sometimes we may experience and with the story it helps us to move and go forward, for sometime God use this things to open our heart to Him in prayers and start to pray what is on our heart, and God knows what is it.so that is what I do, if I need some talk, I read many in web page and even here,

  I dont have bad habit but I am too much busy sending like this reflection because this the things I really like to do, answering story of life that I can share some based on my understanding and what I learned from God and mom and even to all mentors. and thru the guidance of the Holy Spirit teach me what message I should write.

  so for those who have a bad habit you can read those interesting stories on how their lives was changed, because in reading we learned lots of steps and knowledge about God that make all of our lives is beautiful.because the word of God is good medicine once you healed you want also others may go in your steps of life and if you do this to others you leave good works with them as a sign of love and sharing about God and with them they will thanked more to God, for using you as instrument and in yourself there is happiness in your heart because the way you do to others is the way you do to our God as act of thanksgiving and worship on His name.

  as it said Revelation 11:17

  We give you thanks O, Lord God Almighty
  The One who is and who was and who is to come
  because you have taken your great your great power
  and reigned.