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“My knee hurts and is swollen”
My life changed forever the day I heard these words, although it took a year and a half and many medical tests to receive a correct diagnosis. I will never forget the day I heard those words from my then 39 year old husband.His diagnosis is Psoriatic Arthritis. It started with his knee, but took off in the rest of his system. The arthritis robbed his youth and stole so much from our family of five. At age 40 he walked with a cane, had to nap every afternoon, and lived with constant pain. He was no longer able to work, I had to go to work after being a stay-at-home mom for 16 years. His limit for doing anything was about one hour, but many days even one hour was too much. We limited his driving to emergency only times. We moved closer to work and school, to decrease driving. Not quite what we expected for a 40th birthday.
Although the arthritis has stolen much from our family, we also need to look at what we have gained. I have experienced God in many new ways. Old Testament “Manna” has a whole new meaning to me. If you recall the Israelites in the Old Testament wandering in the wilderness, God provided Manna, bread from Heaven, literally it was food falling from the sky. The thing is, God gave enough Manna for one day. He gave enough for today, not yesterday, not tomorrow, only today. If they tried to save it, it rotted and got wormy. Manna is full of nourishment and sustenance.
I have discovered God still gives Manna in our desert experiences. When I am wandering and lost in a wilderness I never expected to be in, I have found Manna. Here is what it looks like: meals, a gift card, food for the freezer, encouraging words, praying friends, a timely email and so much more. God has given enough for each day. I can’t rely on it tomorrow for it was meant for today. Each day is a journey of faith to see how God will meet my need today. He chooses to use His people to care for each other, yet He is sovereign and orchestrated the timeline to meet my need today.
I have learned much about “one day at a time” living. At first I thought living in today was a coping-in-crisis response. I have since learned it is a faith response. If I can take my eyes and mind off the future or the past, today is what I have. Today I can love my family, today I can help a friend, today I focus on what is before me. Today is God’s agenda and He will get me through whether if feels like a gift or a curse. Today is where I make a difference by making the right choices. Yesterday is memory, tomorrow is uncertain, today is here.
Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Please respond and let me know about your desert experience, what have you learned, what does your “Manna” look like?
Recommended book: The One Year Book of Hope
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It’s 2:30am, and I am unable to sleep again. What an encouragement your article is! I don’t know about you, but I didn’t know suffering had so many levels. I used to think I HAD to be on level 85 (out of 100) only to find out I was still plugging along in the low 30’s! Beginning my suffering journey was full of fighting it and constantly looking out my window waiting for God’s FedEx truck to bring me my relief package to make it all better! My husband has suffered with pain our entire 15-year marriage. He has had his hips replaced 5 times (3 times during our marriage) from being run over, has gone through 2 years of Hepatitis C treatments (which made him feel like he had the flu), and he lost both his parents within the last 5 years. He also suffers from varying degrees of depression. Thankfully, he still has his job which offers good pay and great medical insurance. That has been an incredible blessing for him and my 14-year-old daughter who has had chronic pain from neurofibromatosis (plexiform) for the last 3 1/2 years. She is now unable to do any real schooling and is on morphine full-time which only takes the edge off. She has endured numerous procedures, all of which have failed to give her relief. We have been to three different states for research and pain relief to no avail. My manna is when I call to my daughter to get up in the morning and she says she’s hurting too much, so I run into her room stomping like an elephant, jump on her and say goofy things like, “What do you mean you’re hurting too much. There’s no hurting allowed on Wednesday’s!” and she easily laughs and laughs. The fact that she hurts so much and can easily laugh when I or others do funny things has been a huge help for me personally. It’s a breakthrough of momentary hope and relief. Our other manna is praying friends, my mother living within an hour away, and little surprises like this article and other things I hear throughout my day that give me a boost. There are days that run together where I can’t find relief. Even counting my blessings just goes “ping” bouncing off my grief. But then I wake up after a few days, feel better and continue with what has now become our “normal” day. Thank you for reminding me to take one day at a time and to look for today’s hope and blessings!
Dear Brenda, I read this article looking for encouragement as a family member once again is attempting to fight an addiction. I know it will be a challenge to them and (selfishly) to me as we have done this before. However, when I read your post I was humbled by your graciousness and faith in the face of dealing with the people closest to you having such grave health concerns and blessed by your wisdom in taking things one day at a time. I think you are amazing and I will be praying for you and your dear daughter and loving husband. May God bless you abundantly.
I think you have a wonderful gift to look at things the way you do.You have helped me see that truley living one day at time is the key to not feeling overwhelmed and defeted. I will pray for you and your family . Also, to take the time to try and encourage other’s when you probley need encouraged is a wonderful thing. God bless