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“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” (1 Colossians 3:12)

Cancer: it was the word of the day yesterday. My 74 year-old grandmother was admitted to the hospital with back pain.  Now she was being discharged with orders to see an oncologist. They found a tumor. “We believe it’s cancer. There’s a chance there isn’t, but it doesn’t look good!”

My active grandma went from happy and healthy to full despair in just a few short days. Plagued with the thoughts of what our new journey would entail, tears filled our eyes, hopelessness filled our hearts, and our minds couldn’t bear to take in the pain she may endure in her last days.

As my mom cried out to me with the despondent news, I replied with a sigh. Searching for hope and truth I said, “Well, mom the pain won’t last forever!”

Where was my compassion? Did I acknowledge the fear, the pain, the emptiness that filled our hearts and minds? How cliche! What I said was true, but it wasn’t compassionate. By saying what I said I showed complete disregard for how my family was feeling at that very moment. When my mom pointed it out to me, I was convicted.

In my struggle with infertility remarks such as: “It will happen when it’s time!” open the floodgates of negative emotions including loneliness, anger, and a feeling that says, “No one gets this! No one really cares to try to understand!” It certainly is not received as compassion- a word defined as “a tender feeling.”

I’m frustrated with the Christian cliches. “There’s a reason for everything!” “It will happen when it’s time!” ” He’s in a better place now!”

These sayings are cliche and people know it! And quite frankly, they’re lacking compassion. I believe as Christians we need to start showing the love and compassion of Christ. Start saying things like, “I know it must really hurt” ,”I know this is scary” ,”I know you miss your loved one!” “I can’t pretend to understand your pain, but can I pray for you!?” “What can I do to help?” OR we could just listen, and pray.

Dear Jesus,
Help us to be compassionate. Help us not to forget that you give us hope, but you also taught us to be compassionate. Help us not to be so focused on the future, that we forget to meet people where they’re at- where they’re hurting. We thank you that you are a compassionate God who loves us! Make us more like you!
In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Question: How have people helped you through difficult times, and what can you learn from their approach that can help you to help others?

About the Author: Dawn Kurtz