May 27: Could you forgive your daughter?

William Blake once said, “It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.” Forgiving a family member can seem almost impossible. Often the ones who are closest to us end up hurting us. When that happens, we are faced with a choice.  We can hold on to bitterness and anger or to release it, and find healing.

Watch the video

Of course, forgiveness will never be easy or straightforward. It takes time for wounds to fully heal. But if you have been holding on to bitterness and are reluctant to forgive someone, is it time to seek reconciliation instead?

Take our interactive Fly Away follow-up study to explore this issue and receive a personal reply via email or use this form to talk to a mentor about forgiving or being forgiven. We’re here to listen and will respond confidentially.

Related:
Fly Away interactive follow-up study
How Sue found absolute forgiveness

4 Responses to “May 27: Could you forgive your daughter?”

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• Brenda Miller says:

  May 27, 2011 at 1:23 pm

  This is a tremendous video. I can so relate to the pain of choosing not to forgive and living with the consequences of unresolved bitterness and anger for many years. It was not until I had to swallow the words that I spoke when I proudly promised myself, “I will never do to anyone else what my dad has done to me” that I realized how my refusal to forgive had resulted in exactly the same behavior in myself that I so desperately wanted to avoid: verbal, emotional, mental, psychological, and spiritual abuse of those I loved so dearly, those who were closest to me.

  On my own, I found I was powerless to help myself. It was only when I turned to another human being in honesty that some light began to shine into my darkness. The dear friend I shared my burden with led me to Jesus and to Christian Counselling Ministries in my town. The wonderful counselor with whom I was connected not only taught me how to walk daily hand-in-hand with Jesus, she also encouraged me to talk to my dad and seek reconciliation. I can honestly say that this was the beginning of peace in my life: peace with God, with myself, and with others.

  My father passed away two weeks after we embraced, told each other we loved one another, and cried while we held each other; but he died knowing he was forgiven and loved by his youngest daughter. I know it was this reconciliation that cleared the way for me to surrender more and more of my self-will – my desire to control everything and everyone around me. As I began to learn how to place my will and my desires before God honestly and tell Him I needed Him to take over the steering wheel of my life, I able to start seeing some form of calm come back into my days. Today I take life one step at a time with Jesus as my Guide and I can honestly say that I love each and every day that I am given.

  With gratitude and appreciation for the message of hope in this video,

  Brenda Miller

• Jim says:

  June 1, 2011 at 10:12 am

  Yep, daughter said she forgave me then said she never wanted to she me again. I told her I forgave her and replied okay to her last words to me. Talk is cheap and often insincere and self serving. My daughter refused to listen to my reasons for how things happened and why, or to listen to facts about other people in her life, and I refuse to try further to explain or communicate with her because doing so will only cause her to confront lies about her life and about her closest love-care-support relationships – and I refuse to be the source of more pain and confrontation. Screw it – bring on the Eternal Judgement (someday) – and let the facts speak for themselves.

• Sharon says:

  June 1, 2011 at 9:01 pm

  i am a daugther and for years i was mad at my mother for her controlling me in my life, i had to make a choice to forgive her and i did, we have a pretty good relationship now, its sad for people who don’t forgive say their parent and they die without asking for their forgiveness or forgiving them you will probably go through life what if i did and get amd at you8rself for it. you don’t need to do that forgive and let God do it becaue you can’t

• Brenda says:

  June 2, 2011 at 7:38 pm

  Relationships can be so painful, especially when they are with those to whom we are the closest. I can also relate to having a not-so-great relationship with my mom and dad when I was younger, and it was not until I understood that Jesus had chosen to forgive me for all of my sins even though I did not even accept Him and was angry with Him for all the pain in my life that I was able to let go of my hurt and anger toward my parents. When I accepted Jesus and asked Him to help me forgive my mom and dad for the hurt in my past, He showed me it is not about who is right and wrong; it is about His willingness to forgive me when I am wrong and to never call that sin to mind again. This was so amazing to me, and it still is. It is this amazing gift of forgiveness that God grants me everyday out of His infinite mercy that allowed me to forgive my dad and others each day – including myself!