Starting Over

Written by Carol Doerksen

Are you in the middle of a moving your family to a new house, a new town, or maybe even a new state or country? I have a lot of experience with moving. As a single person, I moved from home to college, to Louisiana, to South Carolina, and then to Hungary. Ron and I set off to France as newlyweds. We moved from the west of Paris to Lyon, then off to Germany, then back to Dijon, and finally to the east of Paris where we stopped and took a breather allowing my son to start and finish at the same elementary school.

Until he was 6, we had never celebrated my son’s birthday in the same place twice. From France we moved to Orlando, then British Columbia, and finally to northwest Washington where we live currently. Did I just say “currently”? It’s exhausting just reading through that list.

While there is something exciting about moving, it is always a lot of work. Moving has forced me to forgo a lot of sentimentality as I purge, and I’ve found that it gets harder as I get older. Our kids, their schooling and their activities helped us to integrate more easily into our small town. Now our son has left for college and our daughter is more and more independent. After a certain age, most people have an extended family and an established circle of long-time friends. It is hard to break in.

Feeling rootless

We never imagined our life this way, but it somehow just happened. I certainly didn’t grow up like this. My parents married and after a short time away from home, they eventually settled in the southeastern town where they had grown up. They were born and died in that area, as were their parents before them. My husband’s parents still live in the flat in Chicago where he spent most of his growing up years.

We have always been gypsies, far from any immediate or extended family, and sometimes we feel rootless. At the same time, I would say our lives are in many ways richer for all the people we have encountered, and all the experiences we have accumulated along the way. But there are definitely times when I think how nice it would be to have family close by.

While I always managed to bumble my way through many of these moves, just like in any new venture, good advice can go long way toward making this phase less traumatic. Gina Roberts-Grey offers some great tips from her experience in helping families make that difficult transition go from trauma to adventure.

Kids need information too. As much as you can show them where they will go to school, where they will play soccer. Help them to imagine what it will be like.
Host a party. Invite the neighborhood kids over to your place to make it easier for kids to meet everyone.
Explore together. When you get to your new home, go on an adventure to discover your new favorite places together.

You can read the rest of her article, “The Secrets to Successful Relocating” for more great moving tips.

Moving is always a hassle, but if you’re able to see the possibilities it can be an adventure too. If you are in the midst of a move and need someone to talk to, our mentors are always available.

Take the next step:

How to have a kid-friendly move
Get to know the neighborhood by volunteering
Has the move stressed you out? Can we pray for you today?

Starting Over

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