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Vision Keeps a Marriage Healthy

Written by Leonard Buhler

November 24, 2011

Over the years, I’ve noticed that it’s a constant struggle for high-profile leaders to maintain a good marriage.  I’m no exception.  I’m busy.  I come home tired.  People criticize me.  My wife Debbie absorbs all that in different ways.  It’s a lot for her, and for us, to handle.

Without vision, an organization suffers.  I’ve discovered it’s the same for a marriage.  A healthy marriage needs a strong vision.  So I ask myself, “What do I imagine our marriage looking like at the end of our life?”  I see Debbie and me having nice meals, travelling, enjoying life together, being with our kids.  I see us close, communicating – because Debbie is a deep thinker, and we love to discuss and debate life’s issues.   That’s what I picture for us when I retire.  This is one of my deepest desires.

That vision for our future sets my priorities for my marriage today.  When there’s the temptation to get angry and pick a fight, I realize I can’t, because I’m trying to reach that destination.  The frustrating moment might seem so big, but from the right angle of view, it’s actually very small.  One little incident in my day shouldn’t trigger a hostile engagement that might threaten the vision we have for our marriage.  Focusing on that vision keeps things in perspective.  It protects me, and us, in a huge way.

What about you?  If you’re married, what’s your vision for your future?  What do you need to change today to make sure you reach that vision together?


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