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Find or Create a Soul Mate?
July 24, 2013
Everyone wants the ideal: Home, car, kids, friends, everything! What about finding the ideal relationship?
There is danger in attempting to FIND the ideal; it results in unrealistic expectations! Our culture suggests we should find the perfect soul mate, but the reality is: that person does not exist! No one will realistically meet all the expectations of your perfect soul mate. This common myth sets people up for major disappointment. A better approach is to find someone with whom you want to spend the rest of your life and then work together to create an ideal relationship with that person, becoming soul mates over time. It takes work and it might take a life time but the process will be worth the challenge!
Action: Accept the imperfections in your spouse. Have fun holding hands on the journey of life creating your ideal relationship through the shared joys and sorrows, successes and failures of your life together.
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Hi Mike, You make a very good point. Unrealistic expectations are killer. Thank you for underlining the fact that God’s ways are higher and wiser than the ways of our culture, for He is our designer and heavenly Father. It is His good pleasure to guide us in the ways that are best!
Hi Dan, thanks for sharing! I am encouraged to know that you are appreciating the rich fullness of friendship with your wife. God will continue to bless you abundantly as you invest yourselves in this most sacred of relationships!
One book I have found very helpful on this topic is Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs.
Thanks Dan. You are so right about friendship being the bedrock. Any insights on what is causing your friendship to grow in the context of marriage? What are you doing that is growing your friendship?
Good post, Mike. At less than a year into marriage I’ve realized that deep friendship is the bedrock in our relationship. Much more full and lasting than the typical ideal romance that society tells us to look for.