Rekindled

June 25, 2014

Many men have asked me some variation on the question, “My wife wants to give up on our marriage. How do I save our marriage?” Rekindling a relationship at this point is not an “easy fix!” It will take time and patience. Here are some suggestions for both men and women to consider:

Take responsibility. Affirm your love and desire to do whatever it will take. Apologize for any hurts you have caused whether intentionally or unintentionally. State what you plan to do differently to ensure that whatever you did will not happen again.

Unpack baggage. Begin the process of discovering where things have gotten off track. When did things start to go wrong? Was it an event? Was it just a slow drift? Do not be defensive. Make it your goal to get the issues out in the open to begin moving in a positive direction. A third party you both trust or a marriage mentor/counselor might be needed to help you through the process.

Woo to Rekindle. If your partner has lost hope in your relationship, this might be a one-sided plan, at first. Think back to when you first “fell in love”... What did you like doing together? Begin doing those things again. Be intentional about performing daily acts of kindness, saying words of appreciation and focusing positive attention on your spouse. Woo them by rebuilding connections.

Don’t do it alone. Seek out another person or couple who can encourage, listen and offer practical suggestions.

Suggested Resource: Rekindled by Pat and Jill Williams