Miscellaneous Contributers
A Bit of History
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn’t just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s: Marriage Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by […] Read More >
Airplane Fun
Here are some real in-flight announcements that have been heard or reported: On landing the stewardess said, “Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it’s something we’d like to have.” “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only four ways out […] Read More >
All I Really Need to Know, I Learned From Noah’s Ark
Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark. Stay fit. When you’re 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big. Don’t listen to critics – do what has to be done. Build on high ground. For safety’s sake, travel in pairs. Two heads are better than one. Speed isn’t always an […] Read More >
Are You Old Enough to Remember?
From the office e-mail file: People over 30 should be dead. According to regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40s, 50s, 60s or even maybe the early 70s probably shouldn’t have survived. Just think about it. Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint. We slept without flame […] Read More >
Because I am a Dad!
…I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I’ll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator. …when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a wire clothes […] Read More >
Children On Religion
Three-year-old, Reese: “Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to […] Read More >
Dating Application
You have seen them… the “young men,” “love of my life”…your daughters bring home? Well, now it’s time to cover yourselves and protect your daughters’ well being. Have fun with it. Application to date my daughter Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage and medical […] Read More >
Explaining God – An Eight-Year Old’s Perspective
One of God’s main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die, so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn’t make grown-ups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way He doesn’t have to take up His […] Read More >
Funny, Isn’t it?
Funny how a $10 bill looks so big when you take it to church, but so small when you take it to the market. Funny how long it takes to serve God for an hour, but how quickly a team plays 60 minutes of basketball. Funny how long a couple of hours are spent at […] Read More >
Good Question
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse […] Read More >