Life Can Bring Joy out of Sorrow

Profile on: Norma Becker, Vice President and Secretary of Econotech Ltd.

We have been married for over 50 years. Ed and I met while going to university and were married at age 21 – that makes us over 75 years old. We now have two children and four grandchildren.

The early years of our marriage were not happy years, but were filled with stresses and strains. We really had nothing in common. Our likes and dislikes were totally different. Our ways of spending money were different. Our ideas of an enjoyable vacation were different. I even lived with the fear that he was going to leave me.

How it all changed

We moved to Canada from the United States 38 years ago and I started to attend a Bible study. I had always believed in God and knew the Bible was true, but I really didn’t know what it said. I believed I would go to heaven just because I was a morally good person and tried to be kind and helpful to my family and friends.

It was through studying the Bible that I learned I could have a personal relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ. It was this personal relationship that gave me the peace and direction I needed to carry on with life and making the right decisions in raising my family.

I’m not talking about a specific church or religion, but a personal relationship with Jesus. I prayed and asked His forgiveness for the sin of wanting to control my own life, and I asked God to take charge of my life. That decision didn’t mean that my life was going to be trouble free; it meant He was always there to help me through the hard times that came, because I now had a new foundation based on the solid rock of God.

Ed was not interested in spiritual things, so I continued to go to my Bible study but the rest of the time I followed the life Ed wanted to lead; however, I continued to pray for Ed and asked the Lord to do anything that it would take to bring him to know God as I did – even if that meant taking my life – but God had a different plan.

Tragedy strikes

After I had been a Christian for about ten years, we went through a time of severe testing when our son was in the hospital undergoing many operations to correct the proper drainage of fluid in his brain. To our sadness, after several months, he lost his battle with what later turned out to be an inoperable brain tumor and died; however, to our joy, this brought Ed to know and trust the Lord and it also strengthened my faith.

I became totally aware of the sovereignty of God. Because of God’s grace, even as a loving mother I never became angry or blamed Him. I never asked, “Why did you allow this to happen to my son?” or “Why did this happen to me?”

I truly learned that, “ALL things work together for the good for those who love the Lord” – just as the Bible says. We knew God’s purpose would be worked out. We didn’t know what good would come from our sorrow, but God did.

Encouraging others

Perhaps the part of the good that came is being able to encourage each of you to have the Lord as head of your family. Our family was together for Ed and my 50th wedding celebration and our grandson, who was then 19, said that our 50 years together was a great example for him and he wanted to know our secret. I told him that it took three to make a good marriage: the husband, the wife and the Lord. It doesn’t mean you won’t have differences, but by each of you seeking guidance from the Bible and God through prayer, you will be able to work out your differences.

If you aren’t married I want to recommend that you and your betrothed establish that personal relationship with God before marriage. If you have children who aren’t married, do your best to persuade them that they need that relationship. To you who are already married, remember, it is never too late to have a much better marriage by having the Lord as head of your family.

Renewed purpose in life

Now Ed and I have a totally different focus and purpose for our lives. I lead Bible studies as well as attend them. I realize we should never stop learning from God’s word. Since we have the same goals, now our desire is to serve God and to serve each other. Since he is now a Godly person and desires to follow God’s commands, I no longer have the fear that he will leave me. As I get older, if I should become incapacitated in any way, I know he will always be there to encourage me and care for me. I also have the total assurance that we will be together for eternity.

So now, it’s a wonderful life.

If you, like Norma, have gone through deep sorrows or your marriage is shaky, you will do well to establish a personal relationship with God, through Jesus Christ. He will strengthen and help you. You can do that right now by praying and inviting Jesus Christ to be in control of your life. The following is a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I want to know You personally. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to You and ask you to come in as my Saviour and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.

3 Responses to “Life Can Bring Joy out of Sorrow”

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• shashidhara says:

  September 30, 2015 at 7:34 am

  What can we do when wife always negatively thought about me and my parents

• shashidhara says:

  September 30, 2015 at 7:37 am

  What can we do when wife always negatively thought about me and my parentsf

• Elkay says:

  October 1, 2015 at 9:18 am

  Shashidhara, I am very sorry to learn of your wife’s negative talk as that is a very difficult place for you to be, day after day after day. I urge you to stay positive no matter how hard it is.

  At the highest level, marriage is a spiritual connection between and woman and a man that in some manner emulates the Trinity. This is what is mean by “become one flesh” in Gen 2:27 and is why marriage is a sacred institution created by God to honor Himself. For this reason, Scripture tells husbands that they are to love their wives as Christ loves the Church and gave Himself up for her (Eph 5:25).

  To answer your question then, as challenging as it may be, you are called to let the love God is giving you flow from you to her even if she does not reciprocate or act appreciatively. This means you are to sacrifice your needs and desires to ensure hers are met. Prayerfully, as she experiences this over time, she will begin to see you (and your family) in a more positive light. One day you will stand before God and explain why you lived as you did and the best you can hope for now is that you remain loyally loving to your wife. For your own sake, hang in there and do everything you can to make yours a God-honoring marriage. That’s what pleases God. Let me pray . . .

  Heavenly Father, Shashidhara is in a hard place living with his wife’s negative attitude. You placed the stars in the heavens and laid the foundation of this earth; nothing is impossible for You so we come to Your throne of grace to find mercy and help in this time of trouble. Please help Shashidhara and his wife know that marriage is a decision to be committed to one another no matter what, and from that commitment, may unselfish love positively flow between them as they receive Your love for them. And Lord, please give them a great spiritual purpose in life so that they seek first Your kingdom and Your righteousness and honor You forever. We ask for this in the powerful name of Jesus. Amen.