This is part 5 of an eight part series – Reflections for a Bride

Remember those “warts”? Guess what? You will find you both have them! You have found some of your own, and one day you will see some of his. What you may have thought was a cute little quirk can eventually become an irritant. Consider well your response to the imperfections of your man — may it be solidly grounded in love.

If the “wart” is just some difference in personality between you, celebrate it. As you respond to other imperfections or irritants, consider your options. You may choose to cover it with love, simply forgiving it and letting it go. Forgiving can sometimes seem impossible. It may well be impossible without God’s help; remember, though, that God offers forgiveness for every mistake in the past. Once forgiven, let it go. Don’t keep the offense in the kitchen drawer, ready to pull out and use against him time and again.

Yet another valid and caring response is to confront in love. In the Bible, Paul challenged the early believers to “speak the truth in love.” Perhaps that wart you see is a blind spot for your husband. A word at the right time, with a loving attitude, and help from God, can make a huge difference.

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If you cannot come to some resolution in a timely manner, dear one, may I encourage you to consider your response well? In any case, bad-mouthing your spouse is not wise; involving those who don’t know you or don’t care is usually foolish. Yet there is certainly a time, if the two of you have been unable to communicate well, to discreetly ask a trusted advisor for perspective and help on a specific issue. A third party can pave the way for better understanding, if you are both willing.

Many times a spouse will try to fix or change their partner. But as has been stated so wisely, “There is a God, and I’m not Him.”

Blessed is the couple who can share with one another openly, speak honestly and together create an environment of mutual acceptance, love and growth.

Next: Gifts to One Another