Having a Baby Without Losing Your Faith

Written by Olive Chan

“After the baby came, I haven’t had time to pray, read the Bible, journal, go to church, or attend small group.  In fact, I barely have enough time to shower, let alone think about God!”

For most new parents, this is a common sentiment.  And along with these thoughts comes a feeling of guilt.  ”I know I should make God a priority, but it’s just not happening,” they concede.  ”I guess I just have to live with the fact that my relationship with God is going to be on the back burner now that I have kids.”

It doesn’t have to be that way.

Life with a new baby does not mean your relationship with God needs to come to a halt – or even take a hiatus.  Don’t get me wrong; it won’t look the same as it did pre-kids.  You won’t have the same time, energy or space to spend hours pouring over Scripture.  But your relationship with God can continue to grow. See, the thing with Jesus is that once He’s invited into your life, He sticks around.

Here’s a secret I’ve discovered: It’s not about working harder to incorporate God into your life as a new parent, but realizing that being a new parent means that you are included into the life and work of God.  Read that again. God has invited you to participate in His work of growing and nurturing this little human being!  I don’t know about you, but I think that’s amazing.

What does this look like practically?  As I’ve journeyed through the chaotic waters of having a newborn, here are three things I’ve found helpful in maintaining awareness of God’s relationship with me:

1. Be mindful of the natural pauses in the day. Every feeding time, I am forced to stop doing anything else and simply be present to my baby.  I’ve learned that I could use this time to observe my child, to be amazed by her and to give thanks to God for her life.  It has been said that prayer is paying attention.  In the simple act of being there with your child, you are participating in a form of prayer.  Sometimes, I will use the time I spend in front of the sink washing dishes to think about people I know and remember them to God.

2.  Replace guilt with grace. In the first three months of Alena’s life, we made it out to church a grand total of three times (and none of those were in the first month).  There was a time in my life when I would have felt terribly guilty for not getting my act together enough to go to church.  But I have learned that just because I don’t make it to God’s house, it doesn’t mean He can’t be in my home.

Just because I stay at home on Sunday, it doesn’t mean I can’t designate it as a Sabbath day to rest and enjoy God’s blessings.  God offers grace to us.  So instead of feeling guilty for not having enough energy because the baby woke us up every two hours last night, I inwardly turn to God and thank Him for the grace of His presence, and that He is with me even in my tiredness.

3. Make the most of your resources. Enlist the help of others to foster your relationship with God.  Have someone watch the baby for an hour so that you can hide away in your room with a book or a journal (or, if you find outdoors more refreshing, take a walk).  Ask your friends to pray for you.  There are times in our lives where we need to lean on the faith of those around us, and being a new parent is certainly one of those times.

Personally, I’ve found that my smartphone is another useful resource.  I have a Bible app that allows me to subscribe to a reading plan which I try to read when I pump in the morning.  (If I miss a day, I don’t beat myself up over it.  I just pick up where I left off the next day.  See above point for replacing guilt with grace.)  Listening to inspirational music is another simple way to incorporate awareness of God into your day as you care for your child.

If you are a new parent, struggling to hold onto both family and faith, know that God is there with you.  He is as close as your baby.  As you serve your child, you are serving Him.  As you love your child, you are loving Him.  And that feeling of pride and joy you feel when you see that little toothless grin?   Well, that’s how God feels toward you too.

Are you a new Mom?
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An earlier version of this piece appeared on Tim and Olive’s Blog

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2 Responses to “Having a Baby Without Losing Your Faith”

  • Angel says:

    I am blessed and relieve after reading you and i can express how much i am thankful for this website.
    I ave four kids ( 8 years old, 5years old, 1 and half years old and 2 months old baby). ican hardly get time to read my bible and pray. i cannot have a quiet time for devotion, even taking my bath or toiletting is a problem. i have to do everything in the hurry, i can’t sit down and eat, i have left my job to take care of my kids. I cannot attend church weeckly services or night vigils.On sundays i hardly listen to the sermon because i have to go out and attend to one child that toilet or just keep the baby from disturbing .As for my relationship with my husband,we have become like two strangers, no time to even talk. He is a pastor.

    In all these what has been troubling my mind was the knowlege that i am not close to God again, my heart aches anytime i think about it and i feel guilty for having my kids first before God.

    Thank you once again for talking to my heart,

    Many blessings to you !!!

    Angel

  • Olive Chan Olive says:

    Dear Angel, I am glad this piece was able to offer your encouragement and hope. I cannot imagine the full life you live with four young children constantly demanding your attention. Being a minister’s wife certainly has its share of challenges already as well. God sees your desire to love Him first, and as you love your kids, you are loving Jesus. This is an important time in their lives and you have chosen well to devote your time and energy to them. I am praying for you today, for strength, for peace, and for eyes to see the presence of Christ in your interactions with your children and your husband.
    Blessings,
    Olive

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