I can still remember bringing our first daughter home from the hospital over 18 years ago.

I had placed her on our bed and was simply watching her gurgle and wiggle. My heart was filled with such awe and wonder as I realized this tiny living being had been formed in my womb. My husband and I had given birth to a new life, a unique life.

At that moment, I realized the awesome privilege I had been granted: the privilege of nurturing this child so that she could become all she was meant to be. In the course of the next five years, she was joined by two other sisters, and our little family was complete.

The challenge

In those first years as a parent, I read many books about childrearing. One of the goals I adopted as a result of that reading was to create an environment for my children that would encourage them to dream. I wanted them to discover their talents and strengths so that they would find a purpose for life that would be a source of great joy and deep meaning. I wanted them to see life as filled with possibilities, and to see their limitations as so many opportunities for growth. This perspective on nurturing children still guides my parenting to this day.

Here are some of the principles I am applying to help my children dream about what their life can be.

Expose them to beauty

Did you ever notice that in the age-old story of Adam and Eve, God begins his relationship with man by exposing him to the beauty of all He has created for him? He brings him to an amazing garden, introduces him to all the animals and shows him the great usefulness, variety and complexity of all He has done. If Adam’s father, God, starts his son’s education by introducing him to wondrous beauty, then I believe we should too.

When my children were preschoolers, I decided to stay home to raise them. This gave me the opportunity to spend a lot of time with them. One of the things we did nearly daily was go outdoors to walk and play. We spent time looking at flowers, listening to birds, spying on groundhogs and cats and sheep.

Every summer, we went camping. We’d get away from the noise and lights of the city and enjoy dark star-filled nights. I marvelled at their innate understanding that the wondrous world around them was the work of a wondrous Creator.

My husband and I also wanted to expose them to the beauty man can create. We played all kinds of music, read all kinds of books, went to art galleries and museums, watched beautiful films, involved them in various sports. We also decided to provide them with toys that allowed them to create beauty on their own. Dolls allowed them to create stories. Lego blocks gave them the freedom to imagine villages and towns — even alternate worlds filled with wondrous things.

Today, my children still enjoy beauty. They continue to create worlds through drawing and writing. They create music, enjoy exploring the world through science. Beauty begets beauty. Beauty begets dreams.

Help them discover their strengths and weaknesses

My children’s love of beauty and their active involvement in the arts, science and sports has helped them discover who they are. By exposing our children to a wide variety of activities, we help them discover their likes and dislikes. This helped them discern what they would like to do later in life.

Children love to excel. As parents, we should constantly be on the look-out for each child’s area of strength. It’s important to verbalize these observations to help them see themselves more accurately. We all need to hear, “Wow, you did that really well” or “You have a real talent for that!”. Sometimes a child (or an adult for that matter) does not see their own area of strength until someone points it out.

We have all seen the early auditions for American Idol where there are at least a few tone-death youths try to become rock stars. Some have spent years taking singing lessons and are shocked to hear that they do not sing well. Somehow, they failed to come to a realistic appraisal of their strengths and weaknesses. This makes their discovery of their true calling much more difficult.

Dreams based on an unrealistic appraisal of self have very little chance of coming true. We must therefore also help our children recognize their limits and their areas of weakness. This is not meant to discourage them, but rather to help them evaluate the work and effort that will be required of them in each possible field of endeavour.

Help them overcome adversity

If we want our children to dream, we must teach them how to deal with difficulties and frustrations. Even the most gifted children will encounter problems in chasing their dreams, and an ability to overcome adversity is the greatest quality determining success in life.

One of the ways we help our children overcome adversity is to agree with them that it is hard. My middle daughter is dyslexic, and my acknowledgement of how hard she must work to learn to spell and write frees her to express her sorrow and frustration over this problem. We have used this difficulty to define success by the effort she puts into her work rather than the marks she receives for her work.

We have applauded every success, every improvement, every progress she sees. We have provided all the tools and aids we could. Our unspoken motto has been: Enjoy working in your strength areas, seek to improve in your areas of competence and work hard at overcoming weakness.

This year, she was told by the director of her school that she has improved so much that she no longer needs special treatment. This success came at a very great cost to her: repeated public embarrassment, multiple failures despite innumerable hours of work, and constant frustration. But she never gave up.

She knew she needed to improve in this area if she was to accomplish her dream of studying science at university and so she persevered year by year by year. The character development we saw as she tackled this challenge amazed us. Teaching our children the value of perseverance and discipline is an extremely important part of preparing them to live out their dreams.

Help them get to know their Creator

The very best dreams are given to us by God. The Bible tells us that God created each of us to accomplish particular tasks He planned for us to do. By helping our children get to know God, we help them discover that plan and destiny. God created them in His image, and they will get a very deep sense of how wondrous and precious they are as they discover God’s infinite love for them.

Children often learn to know God by watching their parents get to know God. As we are faithful to follow the dreams God has placed on our hearts, they learn how beautiful and exciting life with Him can be.

Living out God’s dreams for you is the surest way to help your children live out those he has prepared for them.