Faster than a speeding toddler … more powerful than a Hoover upright … able to leap large PTA meetings in a single bound! It’s a bird … it’s a plane … it’s Supermom!

Or at least that’s who you’re trying to be. The problem is, being the perfect mom is as impossible as becoming an actual superhero—it is not who we were created to be.

Barbara Rainey, co-author of the book Parenting Today’s Adolescent, understands the pressure to be perfect. “It comes from expectations that we place on ourselves that may not be in line with what God’s called us to do,” explains the mother of six. “God clearly has expectations of us that we would walk with Him and that we’d raise our children to become godly adults. I think a lot of times we get confused on how to get there.”

The notion that you’re failing if your kids aren’t involved in the right activities or schools leaves moms feeling discouraged. The idea that you’re a lousy Christian if you’re not reaching out to your community and active in your church leaves moms feeling defeated. Add on the desire to exercise, keep your home in order and have something left over for your husband, and women can feel downright crushed—which is how the archenemy of moms wants them to feel.

The only expectations that matter

“Too often behind our smile is a growing frustration and fatigue that starts to come out in other ways,” writes Carol Kuykendall, director of communications for Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) International. “We have less patience. Shorter fuses. Headaches.”

Thankfully, with God’s priorities as a plumb line, and God’s power as their source of strength, moms can conquer these feelings of discouragement and foil the evil one’s plan. Moms can meet the only expectations that matter—God’s.

His priorities for you are different in motherhood than they were for you as a single woman or as a wife without children. They also differ from person to person, but God can tell you what you can and cannot handle.

Challenges of a stay-at-home mom

Nancy Kern found herself succumbing to the pressure that she had to do everything right when it came to raising her two boys—especially when son number two turned out to be a challenge. His hyperactivity caused problems in school and in her heart. “I didn’t know how to keep his self-esteem up through all of it,” says Nancy, “and yet enable him to fit into the school system.”

Nancy realized she needed to give up the idea of perfection and give it to God. Her main objective became loving her son and introducing him to Jesus.

The stay-at-home mom also dealt with others’ assumptions that she had tons of time to work at her church, head up committees and dive into other commitments. “I ended up being hurt by my own failure of not doing it all,” says Nancy. “But I realized if [during the day] all He was calling me to do was read to those kids, then that’s all I was going to do.” Nancy withstood the pressure to participate in activities, instead preserving family time, and her sons—now adults—both walk with God and married Christian women.

Challenges of a working mom

With a full-time job, Cindy Cason also understands God’s priorities for her. As a wife and mother of two teenagers and with custody of another teenage nephew, Cindy knows that the pressure to be supermom comes from within, not from God.

“For a long time,” says Cindy, “anytime something went wrong or anytime something was lacking, [I believed] it was my responsibility. Now I recognize that through Christ, there is no condemnation.” She realized if the rice turns out soupy, it won’t kill anybody. Also, if she can’t produce a sit-down spread for Sunday dinner, KFC on the way home from church still fills them up.

Cindy admits she needs help, though—both from God and her husband. She and Alan alternate being home after school when their children get home: Three days a week Cindy works from home; the other two days Alan is there. It is a sacrifice, but they share it together.

“We want to give our kids an excuse to be good,” she says. “They know that one of us will be waiting for them.”

What is your number one priority?

Six years ago, Janet Lecy had to assess her priorities when she moved with her family. With a 2-year-old, a 1-year-old and another on the way, Janet—a stay-at-home mom—felt trapped in the back of a housing development. Her husband, Jerry, took their only car to work. To help, Jerry gave Janet one morning a week to take the car while he watched their daughters.

“I thought of all the things that I could do [during that morning]—run my errands, go grocery shopping,” says Janet, “But instead the Lord impressed me to just spend time with Him.” So once a week, Janet went to a park. Sometimes she would read her Bible, sometimes she’d pray, and sometimes she would just relish the quiet, enjoying the presence of the Lord.

“That was the stake in the ground,” says Janet, now a mother of five girls. “It set my priorities straight. Some of the other things didn’t get done, but it kept me from running myself ragged.” Ever since then, on the rare occasion that Janet finds herself with a spare window of time, she grabs her journal and asks the Lord to help her align herself with His priorities. Pouring out her feelings of failure or frustration before God allows Him to fill her mind with truth and make her heart tender again. She has found that serving her family with a tender heart goes much farther than completing her to-do list.

Whether you have one child at home or 10, whether you work outside the home or not, and whether you’re single or married, God’s Holy Spirit can help you sort out His priorities from unnecessary pressures you put on yourself. But there is no quick fix to the supermom problem.

“It’s a real dilemma,” says Barbara Rainey, “and I don’t think it’s going to go away anytime soon.” The co-founder of FamilyLife (Campus Crusade’s ministry to families) explains how different parenting is now than when she grew up in the 1950s. Then, parents had few options for activities—little girls took ballet lessons, and little boys played Little League. Now add soccer, youth group, swimming lessons, Scouting and piano lessons to the list, and mothers seem more like worn-out chauffeurs.

“It’s not going to hurt if your kids aren’t in every activity,” says Barbara. “In fact, it’s probably better if they’re not. Remember that your responsibility is to walk with God and raise your children to become godly adults.”

Relinquish control to your Father and tap into His power. The power that raised Christ from the dead can conquer the misleading urges to try to do it all and be all things to all people.

As a believer in Christ Jesus, God has given You an amazing gift — His very life, breath and power lives in You in the person of the Holy Spirit.

We experience the Holy Spirit’s constant help, guidance, comfort as we ask Him and we trust Him to keep on filling us. When we do, we overflow: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13).

Why not pray this simple prayer right now and ask the Holy Spirit to fill you today?

Dear Father, I need You. I acknowledge that I have sinned against You by directing my own life. I thank You that You have forgiven my sins through Christ’s death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as You commanded me to be filled, and as You promised in Your Word that You would do if I asked in faith. I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I thank You for directing my life and for filling me with the Holy Spirit. Amen.