I have two daughters. One is 7 1/2 months and one is 3 1/2 years. I guess I have over-coddled them; I am doing it with the new baby, too. Neither one of them can stand a minute on their own contentedly. I feel like I’m literally losing my mind with crying and complaining and miserable attitudes unless I am physically with them – picking them up, playing with them, nursing the baby or just entertaining them. Can you help a mom that needs a break and is confused on this issue?

Advice: Generally the first year of life you let the child know you love her by protecting her, after that love is shown by allowing the child to become more independent each day. There are many resources available. Two good resources are Helicopters, Drill Sergeants and Consultants (audio) and Four Steps to Responsibility. These are essential to raising children in the 21st century.

Summary of Helicopters, Drill Sergeants and Consultants: The helicopter on the first audio is the rescuing parent. When helicopters land, they tend to flatten the grass they land on. Children of helicopter parents tend to not be able to do things on their own and their self talk is “I’m not capable.” You will love the tools these tapes give you for raising responsible children. The three year old can be responsible for picking up her own room, gathering towels to wash, etc. She can learn to be responsible for knowing how much food she needs to eat at one meal to last her until the next meal. When she leaves the table saying she’s done – you wait to say anything until she says an hour later, “I’m hungry.” You say, “That’s what happens to me when I don’t get enough to eat. I’ll bet you’re really looking forward to the next meal.” She then begins to learn to think for herself and pretty soon you find you have a different child in the house with you.

The two resources discussed here have lots of wonderful information on them and it is taught in an easy-to-learn sort of way. Visit Cline/Fay Institute for more information. Enjoy your children.