I am a single, 23-year-old woman. My question is whether you think it is right to date someone when you think that the relationship probably won’t lead to marriage? I just ended a relationship with a Christian guy, mostly because I felt guilty that I was wasting his and my time if I honestly didn’t think we might end up marrying. Is there any biblical comment on whether we can date people without intending to marry, or do you think all dating is a prelude to marriage? I would appreciate your advice.

Advice: There was no such thing as dating in the Bible, but the many guidelines for how Christians should relate to one another apply here.

Keep your relationships honest. Don’t lead a guy on to think that you care for him more than you do. If you can go places together and enjoy the companionship, that’s fine. But if he gets possessive or controlling then you would need to break it off.

Be careful about letting a guy invest money in the relationship; pay your own way if you can. But if he is willing to pay your way, understanding that you are just friends, then I don’t have a problem with that. Be honest about how you feel and talk about it from time to time.

One of the greatest challenges of being single is loneliness. It is great to have lots of Christian guy friends and to go places with both men and women, dating and in groups. Have get-togethers at your home and invite lots of singles so you can enjoy being a social person.

One more thing: Have you made out a list of the qualities and character traits you desire in your own man of God?