My boyfriend is emotionally cold

noemotionsI have been dating this guy for over a year. He has a difficult time dealing with the past and rarely talks about it to anyone–he pushes me away. He lost his fiancee in a bad car accident on Valentines Day about 5 years ago–he said I remind him a lot of her and he is afraid that God will punish him again and take me, too. He believes in the Lord, he says a prayer before he rides (bulls) and he reads the Bible trying to find answers and reasons not to be angry and to find faith again. I was not much of a believer before I met him because I was molested by my dad as a child. Through our conversations I found faith again. In my heart I feel like God doesn’t want me to walk away from this guy, how and where do I look to help him find God’s Glory in all things?

Advice: It sounds as though the both of you have done a tremendous amount of growing in the past year. It also sounds as though there is more growing to do on his part. A suggestion is to get him the book, The Anger Workbook by Les Carter. It is insightful. It’s also helpful to remember, “What you see is what you get.” Don’t marry and hope to change him. Wait till the important changes are made before you build much more into the relationship. From Anger to Forgiveness, by Earnie Larsen, is another great book. Changes that Heal by Henry Cloud is also good. As long as both of you keep reading the Bible, you’ll get there. Have you been able to find a supportive church in your area? Let us know how it goes.

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2 Responses to “My boyfriend is emotionally cold”

  • Bhekisisa says:

    U got it all wrong. God doesnt kill people. The bible calls death an enemy. God is a life giver not a killer. God doesnt punish anybody. Jesus was punished for us.

  • Jamie Jamie says:

    Isn’t it good to know Bhekisisa that all life comes from God and He is in control? Even when our perspective doesn’t allow us to understand all the reasons for why things happen we can still have confidence that God’s love reaches out for us to offer us life.

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