How do I forgive? How do I stop the conversations in my head that constantly go over past hurts and transgressions? I know it’s my fault as well as theirs, and I have forgiven them, but it haunts me at the strangest times. When I least expect it, it creeps in and the next thing I know, I’m allowing it to run rampant in my mind and heart. How can I stop the noise in my head?

Advice: You didn’t mention if you are a Christian, but Christians have a neat technique for transforming their mind. When an unwanted thought comes into my mind, I say something like, “In the name of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit, I command that thought to be erased.” A friend of mine also claps her hands loudly for emphasis.

This seems to create a vacuum where that old thought lived. Then we want to fill that vacuum (remember, nature abhors a vacuum) in your brain with a new, different, preferably timeless, biblical truth like, “Jesus in me is peace. Greater is He who is in me than He who is in the world. I know what to say and do in every situation because Jesus is in me…”

There is a verse, James 1:21, that tells Christians to implant the Word of God (the Bible) in their hearts. I believe that this is how we as Christians become transformed into Christ’s likeness, by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2). When the unwanted thought comes in, cancel it and then implant truth. Consistency is the key to transformation. In ourselves, we cannot forgive those faults and wounds and get on with new, healthier thinking. Our old brain is designed to recycle old, negative conversations and hurts. Forgiveness and implanting God’s Word is the only way I know to get victory over obsessing thoughts. Let me know how it goes.

In Christ,
a Christian Women Today mentor