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Do you sometimes feel emotionally disconnected even though your spouse is standing right next to you? FamilyLife Directors Neil and Sharol Josephson have been married for over thirty years and have spoken with thousands of couples. In this video series, they discuss gender and personality differences for emotional abandonment, and how the way your parents connected when you were growing up may affect the way you communicate with your spouse today. How can you respond to your spouse’s desire for emotional intimacy while expressing your own relational needs?
1. Causes of Emotional Abandonment
2. Dealing with a Disengaged Spouse
3. Talking about Emotional Abandonment
4. Connecting Emotionally
5. Good Communication in Marriage
6. Sex and Emotional Connections
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My Husband has his own business. Within this season God has began to bless his business in an amazing way. However my husband is very dedicated to his business. From the time he gets up until the time he goes to sleep he’s working towards his business. Even during our quality time he’s on the computer.The kids may get a hour or two of his time and then it’s back to business.. He stays up all night on tbe computer,he even wakes up to his computer. I am 4 months pregnant. I try to talk to him but he denies what he does in becomes upset. I’ve become numb to his i’m sorries. I feel so emotional disconnected from him. He feels I should open myself up to his world, when I can’t get him to open up to mine. I’m a Chef he never comes in the kitchen with me. I’m trying to be supportive but I can only take so much.I love him so much,and I know he just wants the best for us,but what he doesn’t realize is he’s loosing his family emotionally while he’s climbing the later to success.
Sammie, I hear the pain and frustration in your words. One of the most painful things in a relationship is when one spouse refuses to hear the concerns of the other. It is not really quality time if your husband is on the computer, is it? Sometimes when we make the effort to show an interest even when we do not feel like it, the pay-off is tremendous. It does sound, Sammie, like you have tried to be supportive. It may be necessary to get help in speaking firmly and clearly about what you want and need from him in a way he cannot help but understand. Would your husband be open to pastoral counselling? Sometimes it takes a third party to get through to someone who does not want to see the effects of their behaviour, and defensiveness and anger can be signs that your husband is torn between the time he is putting into his business and the time he knows he needs to be spending on his family. A caring pastor or other counsellor can help us learn the vital balance necessary to maintain a healthy marriage relationship. I also suggest for you an article here on our site on emotional space:
http://powertochange.com/sex-love/space/
I am praying for you and your family, Sammie. May the Lord draw you close and bind you together in His amazing Love. I pray this in Jesus’ holy name. Amen.
can I talk with u to give my case details because I am so confuse realy dont know my husbandwho always say he love me n allow me to meet my exboyfriend
good article–QUESTION– is a lot of men just disconnect emotionally because they are men??? just wondering
I have a relationship with this man for 4 yrs and he has 2 small kids and isn’t paying support which I found out and now hes says hes trying to now… He has been living with me all this time and never has helped pay any bills around the apt once in a while buys food and now paying the ex I was told. never home says he working all night until 3 am every morning and the only time he has anything nice to say is when he wants to get with me and I don’t he become verbally abusive…. he says he has no were else to go and I don’t know what to do he keeps saying he loves me. and will change and I trust and believe him and his family is all here locally and never met a family member or his friend or anyone . when people call him on the cell phone im paying for they ask what are you doing he says to them nothing sitting here by myself. and it hurts, he says he just doesn’t want anyone in his business and no one knows we are living together. please advise im so hurt, sick, stress and need peace.
Bless the Lord.
Hi. I’ve been married to my husband for almost 3 years now. He started drifting further away from me last September. I have suspicions that he’s seeing another woman. He always goes out most weekends saying he needs his space and comes home very late from work. He keeps me at a distance and feels burdened when I ask for time together. He keeps saying he’s doing his best. I love him very much and I don’t know what to do. I tried many times to talk to him and if he doesn’t shut me down, he will say that I am always criticizing him- which to me, is just sharing how I feel he’s been treating me. I am so heartbroken each day. I try to love him unconditionally but it hurts when he lies and were falling apart. Pls help me. Thank you
Marianne..I understand how you feel. I had the same situation like yours too. Firstly I realized that I can’t wait for my husband to make me happy. The true happiness you can find in Jesus if you repent from your sins and will give him your heart. He is the one who really knows you and loves you and can give you reason to live. Then I realized that I can’t always make demand and be unhappy when my husband finally comes home or is home.I change my additute, I am showing my husband love and happiness and when I don’t like something I am telling him that gentle way. Lot of praise can do miracle in marriage.
Thanks Viera. Yes I have accepted Jesus in my life and I know he wants me to love My spouse unconditionally. Does the pain ever go away? How can he just wake up one day and decide not to love me anymore. Each day I cry to God, to change his heart but I don’t see any changes in my husband. All my friends say that it’s his character and will never change. Is this what God really wants for me? How did you cope so well. Did your husband eventually change? I really want to hold onto God’s promise that He is in control. I just pray that He gives me the grace to hurt less and less each day.
Marianne…i regret to hear of your situation. from what you say, it does appear obvious that your husband is not being faithful to you. in these tough situations, we all really need God to take us by the hand and show us the way. being able to hear the gentle shepherds voice, jesus christ, is key to being able to know how to handle these types of circumstances since he can give us unlimited wisdom. i encourage you to log onto knowingjesuspersonally com or click talk to a mentor above to find the strength and salvation you need in christ. if you already know jesus as your lord and savior, through prayer and fasting, Gods direction can be more clear to you. speaking with a Christian pastor and having a church to stand and pray with us is also so important. i pray jesus lead you in this situation so that as you hear his voice, you can follow with perfect confidence amen
Marianne. It’s great that Jesus is your Lord and saviour. You know first pain is big and you cry more but by prayer, forgiving and getting closer to God it will be better. Have a peace, one day Jesus will reveal all hidden things and he is revealing it now too. God showed me why my husband were drifting away. Love is a decision and so is a forgiveness. I prayed so I don’t get bitter and revengeful. I suffered like you before and I was sad and sad and it was so bad for my health too. God also told me that we can’t put our lives on our husbands but only on the Lord. I am telling here that of course you can have an expectations of love, security and closeness in your husband and he should fulfill it but we can’t be like that if our husbands cheated or are drifting away that our life finish and we will be only sad and desperate. Then I realized that spirit of depression can start to influence you and torture you if you dwell too much on sadness and you are letting go yourself and not better fighting sadness. I know that we women are more emotional and it’s normal to cry for us just don’t do it for too long. I rejected sadness and started to praised the Lord and read more the Bible. God hears prayers and will do something in your marriage. This suffering led me closer to God, changed me and then my husband too. Blessings.