I have recently become engaged – he was my childhood sweetheart and just came back into my life. He recently had to confide in me that, due to an accident, he was rendered impotent several years ago. He has informed me that he will not marry me if he cannot remedy the situation. Please guide us.

Advice: Congratulations on your engagement! It’s too bad that we live in such a sex-oriented culture that two people cannot believe that they can have a wonderful life together–even in the face of one disappointing aspect of it. You know that this is earth, not heaven. Life was not meant to be perfect here.

I’m curious as to how old the two of you are. I’m guessing that you are not in your twenties. There is something like 10-20% of men in their 40’s and 50’s who are unable to obtain an erection. That’s why that new pill for men has been such a best-seller.

Sometimes a little tragedy like this can cement a relationship and give you shared sorrow. There are four aspects to a good marriage: companionship, co-operation, mutual support and intimacy. Intimacy includes verbal and physical closeness. A good marriage shares more than just sex. Not to minimize intercourse, but people can enjoy each other physically and not have it even include intercourse. You guys can still have a lot of fun. Find a good sex therapist and a good marriage counsellor and spend some time finding out all the things you can do to compensate. Don’t let pride get in the way. Just because you may not do it like most people, doesn’t mean you can’t do it well. Look in a Christian bookstore for Dr. Penner’s book on sex. It’s the best out.