Sometimes, people will try to get you to do things you don’t want to do by badgering and manipulating you. They might give you lots of reasons, ridicule, beg, or accuse you. They hope that if they try hard enough and long enough, they will wear you down and convince you to give in. Here’s a simple technique to help you deal with these situations. Use this technique after you are sure you understand the other person’s position and have made your own position clear.

• Buffer
  Buffer yourself against manipulation. Realize that the person trying to change your mind will try to make you feel guilty and/or obligated to do things their way. In their zeal, their remarks may become inflammatory. Be prepared for this. Don’t let their comments “stick.” Let them run off of you like water off a duck’s back.

• Agree
  Each time the person gives you another reason or tries to attack you, agree with them. Agree with their comment (in whole or in part), or agree with their right to an opinion. “I can see why you might think that….”

• Rewind/repeat
  Rewind the tape, as it were, and repeat your position.
  
  Jane: “Would you like to baby-sit tonight?”
  Karen: “No. I am tired and want to spend a quiet evening at home tonight.”
  Jane: “The kids sure enjoy having you as a babysitter.”
  Karen: “That’s great! But I just want to relax at home tonight.”
  Jane: “I don’t know if I can find another sitter on such short notice.”
  Karen: “That may be, but I just want to spend a quiet evening at home tonight.”
  Jane: (getting agitated) “I really need to get out! Don’t you care?”
  Karen: “I can see that you want to go out tonight and I do care, but I am tired and want to spend a quiet evening at home.”
  Jane: “Some friend you are!”
  Karen: “I can see how you might feel irritated with me, but I just want to spend a quiet evening at home tonight.” “Ask me again some other time.”

Adapted from Conversation Peace.