Reality Bytes: Seeking Real Connection in a Virtual World
There has been a change of screenery. People have shifted from spending time on the front porch and peering through screen doors to staring at computer screens, television screens and cell phone screens.
The ushering in of recent modern technologies has undoubtedly brought with it a shift in people’s priorities. As a recent Communications graduate, I am all too familiar with the Canadian communications theorist Marshall McLuhan who stated that “we shape our tools and then they shape us.” It is worth taking a closer look at just what were shaping out to be.
Getting Connected
Virtual realities and social networking websites serve as recent examples of how technology has altered our interactions.
With online communities and virtual reality, people are often opting for a simulation of what is “real”. They are choosing a virtual reality over their physical reality. Some people are more comfortable in their avatar – a graphical representation of themselves – than they are in their own skin. Playing baseball in your living room using the Wii can be chosen over going to play baseball at the local park. Participating in World of Warcraft with a guild of people you’ve never met seems more exciting than making the trek upstairs to eat dinner with your family.
With social networking websites such as Facebook and Myspace, it is possible to know almost everything about someone without ever meeting them. It has become easier and more efficient to message 20 people than to have one phone or in-person conversation. Strangers and the guy-who-ate-glue-in-grade-one that you decided to add as your friend, are privy to the same information as your closest friends.
With the growing popularity of Facebook, it has been rumoured that there will no longer be a need for high school reunions, as any milestones that have taken place over the last 20 years of someone’s life are posted for all to see. What’s Ann doing? She moved to Calgary with her husband Dave and is about to have her third child – the ultrasound pictures are up – oh and about 30 seconds ago her status said that she was watching a Golden Girls marathon on TV. People are able to gain access to the intimate details of someone’s life with the simple click of a mouse.
The Disconnect
With the explosion of communication technologies, we are able to broadcast our lives and watch the lives of others with minimal effort. Yet despite becoming more accessible then ever before, we also appear to have become somewhat detached.
When the invention of the television first emerged, the social setting of the home shifted from the dinner table to the living room so that families could gather around the television. This shift intensified with the advent of computers as people gazed at screens in the setting of their office or bedroom. A significant change here, however, is that people are often staring at the screen alone. Although the Internet was designed to connect people, we are ironically sometimes left feeling isolated.
So we are stuck in this double bind of being both extremely social and also somewhat isolated. Our Facebook list can boast 300 friends, but we can be lacking in intimate relationships. Or perhaps it is the opposite, and we feel like we have our greatest interactions online but cannot seem to connect with people outside of the cyber sphere. Regardless of whether it is online or in everyday interactions, what is it that drives people in search of relationships and community?
Beyond Technology
We seem to be designed for a deeper connection. We all know how frustrating it can be to remain in repetitive surface level conversations at times when we need to have more meaningful interactions. Some of us are able to search out these connections with close friends or in dating relationships. Some of us at one point or another have wondered about God and if there is a God.
So many of us are willing to seek out relationships with people in the real or virtual world, but get a little weary or skeptical when someone tells us a real relationship with God is possible. Why is that?
Have you ever tried talking to God? You know, in those unexpected or frightening moments – the ones you often don’t want to admit you’ve been in – when you realize you’re in over your head? You think to yourself that if there is any truth to this God thing, and if there were ever a time to ask God for help, it would be now. Your cell phone wouldn’t reach people fast enough and so you try to talk to a God who might actually help you and better yet, might actually care about what you’re going through.
I’ve done this. I called them my “911 Prayers”. It is in those moments of weakness that we hope for a glimpse of greatness. Of course as soon as the situation was resolved I had forgotten about who I had called on for help, satisfied that I no longer had to worry. I was happy to draw on the potential power of God but completely content with having the relationship be commitment-free, requiring nothing of myself.
But I’ve begun to learn that the best relationships, and the real ones, are reciprocal. If I’m serious about getting to get to know God, I can’t just call Him and hang up, I’ve got to stay on the line.
The best relationships require both parties involved to be genuinely interested in the other. I can’t just ask God to help me out of a stressful situation but not be willing to hear what He may want to tell me about other areas of my life.
If you had a friend who called you at 3 am ever so often because they needed help and then they forgot about you during the time in-between, you’d grow pretty annoyed with that person. I’m not trying to imply that God gets annoyed with us, but I did get to the realization that I was being pretty selfish by expecting God to show up on my terms but not finding out about His.
It was only by pursuing God in an ongoing way that I really discovered what a real relationship with Him looked like and how it fulfilled the connection I was looking for.
This is a really thought provoking and insightful article… I do feel the sense of isolation from being so much connected with technology but disconnected in relationships…
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