**How have you dealt with your tense communication situations?:???? http://talk.thelife.com/2006/08/03/communicate-differently/

Pause before you speak. It?s a simple thing?a very small thing. Yet the wisdom in that simple act actually comes from the heart of God. Listen to the relationship – changing words He gives us?

?Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God? (Ephesians 4:29, 30a).

? Recognize and admit any negative communication cycle you are in.

? Ask God to forgive you for grieving Him with the negative overflow from your mouth.

? Ask Him to help you hold your tongue and to give you wisdom in your responses.

He can help you refrain from saying those accusing, mean, whiny or hurtful things that spring defensively from your heart.

? Ask God to help you understand the needs of the other person and put them before your own. This is not easy; yet the other heart has been affected by the tense communication, too, and this cycle needs to be broken.

? Speak building words and not words that tear down or cut. Choose words that benefit the other person.

As you depend on God to help you, you will find your defenses coming down and there will be new opportunities to communicate on things that need change. Make the first move in God?s power. Our tension – filled relationships and homes need His healing touch.

~God,
You know the tension there is in some of my relationships. Help me to be willing to be the change agent. I ask that You would change my heart attitude. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit and enable me to speak words that build up and benefit. Help me to keep silent when I need to. Forgive me when I fail and help me as I learn to trust You in this critical area of my life. In Jesus? name I pray, amen.

About the Author
This devotional was written by Gail Rogers. Read more about her here: http://www.talk.thelife.com/authors/gail-rogers/

Related Reading
You make no sense: improving marital communication:
http://www.familylife.com/articles/article_detail.asp?id=886
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