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Have you been hurt? Take this study to learn how to deal with pain so that bitterness doesn’t take root.
“By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35)
Step 5: Be willing to plant stakes in the ground
When we recognize there has been hurt in our church, we must be willing to take a stand to say what will be different from this day forward. So often we experience hurt within the church walls and we retreat for awhile, only to return to find a new vision or a new program. A “forgetting what is behind” attitude can spring up without ever acknowledging why we got to the hurtful point we did.
If there is one thing we have learned throughout history it is that history repeats itself. The struggles with pride and accountability, tending the seeds of our heart, and not recognizing our enemy, are all day-to-day struggles. We will not mature and move ahead in our journey with God as a church unless we recognize where we have been in hurting times and plant some stakes to serve as markers to check us when we begin to spiral into the same patterns. Ask yourself:
“Am I willing to acknowledge my part and take steps to prevent a repeat?”
When conflict threatens your heart and your church, as it will, seek first to be intentional about raising the prayer banner. This invites the Spirit of God to be at work in the lives of those involved and minimizes our tendency to lean on our own understanding. It moves us toward recognizing afresh our utter dependence on God. God alone is the hope of the hurting church.
If you are part of a church that is experiencing hurt and conflict, confusion and disorder, God gives a measuring stick to determine what value system is at work.
Two kinds of wisdom…
James 3:13-17 talks about the two kinds of wisdom. One that does not come from heaven and one that does. The one not based on heavenly values is centered on earthly, unspiritual values with envy and selfish ambition at the core. Not hard to spot. The trademark of love will be missing as well.
The wisdom based on heavenly values will be pure, peace loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
This higher value system can be reached by applying these five steps (see this devotional and the previous parts in the series) based on the foundation of love. It’s love that comes from the heart of our Father God to our own individual hearts. Then the world will see our trademark and glorify God in Heaven.
Tend your heart wisely! The state of your soul, the health of your church, and a watching world needing Jesus depends on it.
Father God, I thank you for my church. I pray that You will work in me and through me to display Your love and Your wisdom within my church. Help me to do my part to keep my heart pure, peace loving and considerate so that You will be honored in this community by our trademark of love. In Jesus’ powerful name I pray, amen.
Questions: When someone has hurt you, what is your initial response? Where do you first go for comfort?
Part 1: Know Your Enemy
Part 2: Keep Short Accounts
Part 3: Accountability
Part 4: Pride
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Dear Nancy,
Thank you and God Bless you for your comments. It could not have come at a better time. We just went back to the church Hoping that what brought us there would still be there. It was nice… And the head pastor is genuine we love him dearly and our 31/2 yr old loves the childrens church pastors but the same insenserity permeates there, its a new building, better facility with so much potential but the number of attendees was disappointing and I have a good idea why. I have said “yes” to God, I want to be obedient and go and do what God wants me to do and keep my eyes on Him not on people. So where He leads me and my family is where we need to be and what we need to be doing. My circumstances are better than when I wrote my last post and no matter what happens as long as I keep seeking, asking, God i know my life is where God has me and my family at in that particular time and we will trust Him completely! Praise The Lord!
Be blessed my sister.
Francine, I’m so sorry that you did not have a good “church” experience. Sadly, so many of us are so caught up in our own hurts and struggles that we don’t always reflect Christ as we should. I know I’ve been guilty of that at times, and I’ve also been on the other side, where I felt like nobody even noticed or cared about what I was going thru. I’ve tried to use that as a wake up call from God and am learning to reach out with His help – not an easy task for a rather shy person. Good thing He is strong when I am not! You’re right, God is definitely ever-faithful, as I’ve learned more and more since the death of my husband a few years ago. I claimed Isaiah 41:10 to stand on then, maybe it will be a comfort to you too. I pray you will continue to rest in Him to carry you through anything that comes your way, and that perhaps someday He will lead you to a body of Believers where you will be able to serve and be served, love and be loved, and where you will find sweet fellowship and a real family connection with other Believers who will walk the journey with you.
thank you
We stopped going to church because we didnt see evidence of the traits required of some of the pastors at the church. That genuine sincerity was lacking and it was evident when speaking or trying to communicate with some people in leadership positions. Also i made several people know that Our family were going through alot trials and not one of them ever came to visit us, to offer to come pray with us, or anything. All they wanted us to do was go to church, which tells me if I want prayer I have to come to them to get it.
The love and compassion just wasnt there, we were very dissapointed. And when I see anyone from the church right away they speak and treat us like we have lost our faith? We have not, we just dont put our faith in men, we are still reading, praying, seeking, interceding and praising our Lord Jesus Christ, i tell them weve been going through alot and the uncompassionate response we receive is oh everyone is going through something, in other words i care not about your trouble it is not important to me. Ive suggested to get together with a couple of people from church but they never responded to my invitation, too busy I guess. People, churches, let you down, but God is ever faithful and we are thankful for that!