The Biggest Loser Comes Home

We have never watched The Biggest Loser before this season. A friend told us how much they as a family enjoy the program.  We gave it a try and are saying the same thing now.  We as a family are really enjoying the show and learning much and being inspired by the people on the show.  A common theme for the contestants is that they feel worthless and like losers in life.  This show features them losing, weight, and becoming true winners whether or not they take home the monetary prize.

No one wants to be the biggest loser out there, or do we? There are so many connotations with the word loser.  The TV show The Biggest Loser puts a new spin on the word “loser” and now being the biggest loser is a much sought after title, along with the cash prize.  It really is perspective.  Not only can we learn so much from the show about exercise and eating right, but now we can learn about how much perspective can change with a new definition to the words biggest loser.

I have had times when I felt like the biggest loser, like in high school when people paired off to walk down the grad aisle, and all my friends chose someone else over me. I walked down the grad walk with the stoner nobody could stand.  I felt alone and like a total loser on what should have been such an exciting day for me.

Another time I felt like the biggest loser was when I lost forty pounds, not long after my second child was born.  During this feeling of being a loser I was elated that I had arrived to a much sought after goal. I was for the first time, at my sought after size and I was loving it!  As long as I was wearing clothes. What I didn’t realize was that I had been duped by the culture and society.

For years if I could achieve this “perfect” size, I would be “IT”.  But reality in the mirror in front of me showed stretch marks, and sagging areas that I really did not want to see.  I was so disappointed because I thought if I could achieve this one goal I would be happy and content with myself.  After all I was a culturally acceptable size and I mistakenly thought by attaining that, “I would arrive”.  My inner disappointment was my reality.  It was a push/pull for me, I loved being this new size, but was struggling with my disillusionment over still not being satisfied with who I am.

What will satisfy?

Being my ideal weight didn’t do it. I thought being a mom would definitely fill that place.  I had always wanted to be a mom; that was my career aspiration when I was a child.  Having gone through infertility, you can only imagine the joy when our first baby was placed in my arms.  I launched into my new career with great hopes and expectations to be the best mom I could be.  My disillusionment with that settled in by the time my oldest was three years old.  All of my pre-conceived notions about being a great mom, went flying out the window in three short years.  I now had a tantrum throwing, raging child, that to me was a clear indication of my lack of parenting skills.  Sigh, I had longed for this with all my heart, but now felt again dissatisfied with myself.

The more dissatisfied I felt with myself, the more I needed to escape emotionally.  I launched a career as a home-based direct marketer.  I was very good at it!  I climbed the ladder and achieved great success with the company even earning a company car.  I learned about myself that I am highly motivated and very good at what I was doing.  As I achieved each success it felt great!

But after having earned that car, my goal, I was exhausted and had to re-look at my priorities.  I had two toddlers at home who needed me there not just physically, but also engaged with them, not thinking of my next appointment or delivery.  I am so thankful that I learned before it was too late.  God blessed us with another child and my direct sales career went on a shelf.  The mantra in that company is “you can have it all!”  My disillusionment came again with myself.  “Maybe others are better balanced and they can have it all, but I can’t, I am not as good as they are.”  So I backed off and re-aligned my priorities with my family being more important than my goals.

Each of the contestants on The Biggest Loser are encouraged to identify the pain that has brought them to the place of eating to the point of killing themselves.  One contestant, Michael, keeps saying, “I want to live!”  There is much for us to learn here.  What keeps you from truly “living”?  What is the thing that keeps you disillusioned with yourself or the pain that you are feeding?  We feed our pain in different ways, some eat,(as we see on the biggest loser), some work at career success, some turn to sex, while others use a substance.

Each of us can relate because we are turning to something to feel good for a time, yet when the moment of good feeling passes, we are again faced with the disillusionment that is still there.  Therefore we go again for that hit of feeling good.  After all who wants to be the biggest loser?  Not me, I don’t want people to think I am a loser, so I have to prove to myself and others that I am not a loser.  “I can have it all!” – or die trying.

So what is the answer to finding peace?

How do I accept myself?  For me the answer is my faith and setting aside the expectations of the others.  When I get caught up in trying to “fit in” whether, my looks, my parenting, my career, etc I always fall short, even if only by my own standards.  Others may not see me that way, but what really matters is how I see myself.  That is the part I truly own.  I don’t know about you, but when I compare myself, I always come up short.  How can I stop doing?

I focus on other things, like my faith and the standards put up as honorable according to what truly matters.  What truly matters to me is how I treat others.  My standard for this is established in how Jesus treated others.  Jesus is the ultimate lover of people.

His followers however often get it wrong.  So don’t look at your disappointment with others, look to the one who really loves you, likes you and wants to be your friend.  He won’t compare you, you won’t come up short, yet He will encourage you to be the best you He created you to be.  So whether you are feeling like a loser, or on top of your game, Jesus is there to walk with you, the best friend you can ever have.  Jesus came to make all things new.  See how Jesus changes everything.

More:
Learning to love your body
Finding peace with God

Upcoming online chats: Join us for daily online chats! One of our features will be “Turning a Disgruntled Heart Into a Grateful One” on June 1 at 04:00 pm EDT Please join us to discuss how you can turn a disgruntle heart into a grateful one.

Tags: becoming a christian, Career, Ella Weck, Family, Health Issues, hope, Jesus Christ, motherhood, Sprirituality & faith, the biggest loser, weight lost

3 Responses to “The Biggest Loser Comes Home”

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• mohamed says:

  May 26, 2010 at 2:22 pm

  help

• Dwight Sheikh says:

  June 6, 2011 at 1:37 pm

  I really glad to find this site on bing, just what I was looking for : D besides saved to my bookmarks .

• Doris says:

  June 16, 2011 at 9:50 am

  Dwight thanks for taking the time to post a comment. We are always so encouraged when our visitors are encouraged and let us know that.