The I Don’t Wanna’s

Written by Julie Cosgrove

Are you feeling ready to walk away from a relationship – are you possibly even considering divorce?  We want to pray for you.

Join us for our Daily Devotional Chat today in our Women’s Chatroom at 10:30 am EDT.

“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord” (Colossians 3:20).

“But, Mommm. I don’t wanna.” I heard the preteen girl whine her complaint as she and her mother descended the escalator behind me.

“It doesn’t matter. You have to do this, You know that,”  an older female voice said in quiet, firm tones.

“And I hate it. I hate you.”

A momentary pause. Then, a deep sigh. “That doesn’t change the fact you know it is what you have to do.” The sternness in the mother’s voice ineffectively masked her frustration. Obviously, they’d had this conversation before.

“Whatever. I am NOT doing it. You can’t make me.”

A determined stomp exploded, vibrated through the steel grid track as it disappeared into the floor ahead of us. Its impact rippled through my heart. It took everything in me to keep staring straight ahead and not turn around to give this mom a camaraderie hug. But, of course that would have embarrassed her. It would have brought out what she already knew. Everyone in a ten foot radius could hear what should have been a private conversation.

I don’t know what the task was that the preteen dreaded so much doing. Big or small, it was important enough in her mind to evoke strong emotions and start the hormonal volcano spewing.  It seems kids pick the least opportune time to explode. Public places seem to rank the highest. Or when you are dead tired and on edge anyway. It’s like an alarm goes off – hit ’em with it now, then BOOM!

Raising kids into adulthood is perhaps one of the hardest tasks imaginable.  Nothing will take you out of yourself like the sacrificial, “I am going to love you even if I don’t like your behavior right now” attitude a parent adopts towards their child.  But truth be told, is that not the attitude God calls us all to have towards each other?

How often are we like that preteen girl, stamping our feet and saying, “God, I hate this” or “I don’t want to do this”? Even Christ in the Garden momentarily asked for the cup to be taken from Him. But He already knew the answer. Like that mother with her preteen in the store, God told Jesus that it didn’t change the fact it was to come to pass. But also like that mother, God didn’t walk away. He stayed and listened as His Son sweated blood and tears in prayer, then eventually whispered confidently, “Thy will be done”.

God stays by each of us, listening to our angst, our fears and our “I don’t want to” moments. Our temporary lack of faith and obedience may hurt Him, but He loves us anyway. Just like we love our kids, despite the fact that they are not acting or being as we know they can potentially be.

God won’t give up on me or you as we go through the process of growing. So, don’t give up on your kids, either. No matter what their age, just like us, they too are learning the fine line between individuality and obedience. They are figuring out their way may not be the best, that they do need advice and guidance, and it is okay to ask for it. Asking for help doesn’t diminish who you are. Aren’t we all in the process of learning that?

Thanks be to God that He is, as the Psalms tell us, slow to anger, long suffering and loving. He can help us be that way as well towards our kids, and everyone else we bump into along the way. Let Him turn to you and give you a hug, just like I wanted to give that mom. Rely on His strength and expertise. He understands. If anyone knows what you are going through in raising a child, it is your Heavenly Father. He is, after all, in the process of raising you.

Question: Are you as patient with other’s whining as God is with yours? How can you turn your “I don’t wanna” into “Thy will be done.”?

About the Author Julie Cosgrove

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Related Articles
Roots

September 3, 2014 When my son was about 6 years old, we were visiting friends who had just newly landscaped […]

Security, Acceptance and Emotional Connection

July 30, 2014 In their book, Rekindling the Romance, Dennis and Barbara Rainey state that a romantically satisfying relationship has […]

3 Responses to “The I Don’t Wanna’s”

  • Nancy says:

    Oh my. Personally reflecting on my own childish stubborness and the sorrowful impact it had on my own self, parents, family, and friends …. it is then that I see the Mercy of the Persistent God ….. loving me when I talk back with “O.K.; I’m sitting down in my chair – but I’m STANDING UP in my heart”. Might sound humorous (and it does), but seriously is nothing foreign to my root sinful nature. from Romans 8 …. “Therefore … For IF by The Spirit, you put to death the misdeeds of the body (the deeds of the sinful nature), you will live ….” Salvation – received in a moment … Christ-likeness – a life-long process. Praise God for his Eternal Mercies.

  • Gena says:

    Wow,this was so timely. Last night was a rough night with our 15 yr old son (adopted from Ethiopia at 12). This was exactly how I was feeling after an episode with him. I was feeling drained and sorry for myself and had the “I don’t wanna’s”. I’m so glad God is patient and loving with me and I will keep trying to be the same with our son.

Leave a Reply