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“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (1 Colossians 3:12).
Cancer: it was the word of the day yesterday. My 74 year-old grandmother was admitted to the hospital with back pain. Now she was being discharged with orders to see an oncologist. They found a tumor. “We believe its cancer. There’s a chance that it isn’t, but it doesn’t look good!”
My active grandma went from happy and healthy to full despair in just a few short days. Plagued with the thoughts of what our new journey would entail, tears filled our eyes, hopelessness filled our hearts, and our minds couldn’t bear to take in the pain she may endure in her last days.
As my mom cried out to me with the despondent news, I replied with a sigh. Searching for hope and truth I said, “Well, mom the pain won’t last forever!”
Where was my compassion? Did I acknowledge the fear, the pain, the emptiness that filled our hearts and minds? How cliche! What I said was true, but it wasn’t compassionate. By saying what I said I showed complete disregard for how my family was feeling at that very moment. When my mom pointed it out to me, I was convicted.
In my struggle with infertility remarks such as: “It will happen when it’s time!” open the floodgates of negative emotions including loneliness, anger, and a feeling that says, “No one gets this! No one really cares to try to understand!” It certainly is not received as compassion- a word defined as “a tender feeling.”
I’m frustrated with the Christian clichés. “There’s a reason for everything!” “It will happen when it’s time!” “He’s in a better place now!”
These sayings are cliché and people know it! And quite frankly, they’re lacking compassion. I believe as Christians we need to start showing the love and compassion of Christ. Start saying things like, “I know it must really hurt”,” I know this is scary”, “I know you miss your loved one!” “I can’t pretend to understand your pain, but can I pray for you!?” “What can I do to help?” OR we could just listen, and pray.
Dear Jesus, help us to be compassionate. Help us not to forget that you give us hope, but you also taught us to be compassionate. Help us not to be so focused on the future, that we forget to meet people where they’re at- where they’re hurting. We thank you that you are a compassionate God who loves us! Make us more like you! In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Questions: Why do we as Christians so often not know how to show compassion?
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Thank you very much. Many times I will use cliches to hide my true feelings. Thank you for sharing your prayer. Now, I can be more specific in my prayers. This opens the door to be more honest with myself.
This devotional was so true. My prayer is that I’ll say or do
the right thing when I’m with someone who is going through a
difficult time or has just received shocking news.
What timing to receive this posting. My 51 year old sister in law lays in a hospital bed right now. She survived breast cancer for 5 years, then it came back a year ago with a vengence. It has spread throughout many parts of her body and the outcome does not look good. She is allergic to most pain meds so is suffering physically as well as mentally. Please pray for peace and relief for the pain. Also, for her only child a 16 year old boy and my brother. She is a strong believer in Christ.
Dawn,
Thank you so much for this devotional today. It came just when I needed it most. This thanksgiving has been a tough one and I know that I have been selfish when my family, who are all nonbelievers, needed me to be there for them, they are hurting and they needed someone to listen. However I was caught up in the act of isolating myself and then calling them out on my lonliness. It was selfish and last night as I apoligized to my mother she began to cry tears of sadness, they expressed that she thought she had been the culprit to my bad week. Needless to say this devotional is reassurance that God’s compassion is so deliberately set in my life, and he entrusts it to me to share with others. Thank you for reminding me.
I truly understand what you are saying here. I need to work on this (compassion) myself, in a very big way. I think we Christians SO try to accept the not so wonderful things in life as God’s plan, that we really expect others to do the same, therefore, we lack passion… and compassion! It was so good to read this, because just this morning I prayed to be more loving like Jesus! I prayed that the Holy Spirit would remind me of how Jesus himself would respond in certain areas that compassion and love are needed. In some ways, ppl admire my strength (God given the glory for this), but on the other hand, my entire family does not understand my strong faith in Christ. However, (and it’s a big however), I need to work on my compassion for others. The timing of this devotional was amazing… It’s like God is telling me that I am not the only Christian believer who has this same “problem”. Thanks for sharing. I’m going to work on this, beginning now.
Dear Dawn,
You’re so right about saying: hearing Christian cliches when you’re hurting just makes you feel worse. It’s best to listen with your eyes,ears, and heart. This makes the person feel she’s not alone. We don’t need answers so much as we need a loving presence.
Helen
I am discovering that people, especially ones who are hurting, just want to be able to be heard. When I remember to use reflecting listening skills, they go a long way. Many times, there are really no words to say in situations, so then I find myself saying a cliche or something like that because I actually just want to help. But I know many times, I just want to be listened to and people to acknowledge how I am feeling.
Good devotional
Thank you so much Dawn for your awesome Devotional! It is so true that people often use cliches that are incredibly hurtful.
Helen I really like what you said too, that often ‘We don’t need answers so much as we need a loving presence.’ Well said!
i was told to, “go home and look up the word compassion” from a pastor’s wife many years ago b/c she said i didn’t have any! i was offended and let her know it! Secretly i did look it up and discovered i didn’t even know what the word meant. It was the same with Mercy. i believe i didn’t have any due to being so violated and hurt growing up. There is a saying…”HURT people…HURT people.” This was me. i had so much emotional, mental and physical pain, when someone told me about theirs, i simply said,”how does it feel to hurt like this? Welcome to MY world.” Everything reflected back to my hurts. The LORD has been working on me and i’m learning more and more how to be compassionate and to give more Mercy to those who hurt and have made some really bad life choices. Thank you Jesus!
some times we just don’t know what to say. i found that when i have lost family members it was just that fact that some one cared enough to come to see me and let me talk about the one i had lost to many people don’t want to let you do that but talking about your loved one and good time is so helpful